Saturday tunes: "High as a kite by then"

I seem to remember the story going like this:

Bernie Taupin flashed on the two lines "She packed my bags last night, preflight / Zero-hour nine a.m." as he was driving through the British countryside. When he got home, he quickly worked out the rest, called his writing partner Elton John, and something like 45 minutes later the song was done.

There was a time when I guess I was secretly sort of appalled and even jealous of a sweet set-up like that. Then one day I realized that Taupin's controlling deal wasn't with Elton or their record label.

I mean, come on: A gazillion-selling classic like "Rocket Man," in 45 minutes? Who in hell has the juice to make that happen?

The deal was with Satan. And one day the Prince of Darkness, the Father of Lies, would present his bill.

Watch Taupin introduce this performance of "Rocket Man" through clenched teeth and tell me that the Cloven-Hoofed One hadn't just shown up in the green room about five minutes before the cameras rolled to collect what was his.

(Hat tip to The Skirt.)

The things you miss if you don't stay right on top of it:

Last night at Drinking Liberally, the Finest Minds of Our Generation^TM had to fill me in on the story of the Republican mayor of Los Alamitos, somewhere in Orange County CA, who sent around to friends (friends?) an image of the White House with watermelons growing in front, captioned "No Easter Egg Hunt this year."

It's a good thing they brought me up to speed when they did, because last night's news has already been superceded: After issuing the standard denial ("Racist? You thought that was racist? Seriously? Because, you know, I just don't see it.") didn't work, the mayor in question has resigned.

This is a good start. Now if we can get embarrassments like this to start resigning when they have the thought, rather than after they've already acted on it, we'll start seeing some real progress in this country. Even in Orange County.

See? You can miss out on a lot if you don't go to DL.

Hey, Marshal Dillon: In. Your. Face!

News item:

On Thursday Fox said it had renewed “The Simpsons” for two more years, confirming that the animated series will become the longest-running prime time TV series in history.

That record has been held for more than three decades by “Gunsmoke,” the TV Western that ended in 1975 after 20 years. The current season of “The Simpsons” tied “Gunsmoke,” and its 21st season will surpass it. […]

The NBC criminal drama “Law & Order,” now in its 19th season, follows closely behind “The Simpsons.

Is this where the universe has been headed all along?

Woo-hoo!

Blumenauer, chimps, crocodiles, and pythons!

The founder of the House Bike Caucus (check the lapel pin), and OR-3's favorite son, gets the "Daily Show treatment" tonight.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Felonious Monkeys

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Joke of the Day

And believe me, Congressman: I have a great deal of respect for you, but I don't even want to know where the "tutu and wine" thing came from.

Conservative euphemism update

From the p3 Lame Excuse for Political Euphemism Watch [LE PEW] desk comes this latest item:

The conservative political lexicon has banished the phrase "economic recession" from Republican discourse. From now on, as explained by Rep. Jeb Hensarling (R-TX) on C-SPAN today, prolonged periods of negative economic growth and high unemployment will be referred to as "just a part of freedom:"

I don’t think we can figure out how to outlaw recessions any more than we can outlaw tornadoes or outlaw hurricanes. […] Economic growth has never gone in one straight line up. It goes in a zigzag line. It’s a part of freedom.

"Freedom booms," if you will.

And here's a heads-up to the people of New Orleans: LE PEW forecasts that, instead of the needlessly alarmist term "hurricanes," conservatives will shortly begin using the phrase "the spirit of Louisiana".

Drinking Liberally/Portland tonight at Madison's Grill

The Portland DL chapter meets tonight at Madison's Grill, at SE 11th and Madison (map) at 7pm.

(Note that DL/PDX now meets on the 2nd and 4th Thursdays of the month.)

For two years I always included with these meeting reminders a mention of the Backwards Bush countdown timer. Now--perhaps fittingly--the battery in mine has finally given up the ghost. I wonder: Should I save it as a reminder of the New Dark Ages, or should I get a new battery and reset it for some future event, such as the date that Sarah Palin officially announces her presidential candidacy? Or perhaps the date, probably only a few weeks later, when she and Bobby Jindal die with their hands on each other's throats?

Join the Drinking Liberally gang tonight for drinks and political conversation. (And remember: DL encourages everyone to drink, and vote, responsibly.)

(Cross-posted at Loaded Orygun.)

The life cycle of a political meme

Politics is perception, and if things don't work out, the amount of time it'll take you to go from being a hired gun to a cocktail party joke can be clocked with an egg timer.

Leo Solomon, The American President (1995)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009: Following President Obama's address to Congress, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal gives the Republican response.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009: By lunchtime, commentators across the internet have independently arrived at the conclusion that Jindal's performance does nothing so much as remind viewers of Kenneth Parcell, the NBC page on "30 Rock."

Thursday, February 26, 2009: A video clip in which the actor who plays Kenneth Parcell is invited by host Jimmy Fallon to give a response to Jindal's response to Obama circulates on the internet. The resemblance between the perky but clueless dweeb and the future hope of the GOP does not work to the latter's benefit:

At this point Jindal can only pray for a miracle, such as that, by Friday, Alabama Sen. Dick Shelby will have flubbed his way back into the spotlight to draw the media attention back onto himself again. And that--or something equally embarrassing to the Grand Old Party--certainly seems possible.

There's never an egg timer around when you need one

Leo Solomon, The American President (1995)

Best one-sentence take on Jindal's response to Obama SOTU

Bobby Jindal's presidential aspirations blew up tonight like a cheap condom on the end of a fire hose.

Yowsah!

The Sight

The interesting thing about the Senate Republicans is their uncanny ability to make medical diagnoses from remote distances, whether it's determining by videotape if someone is in a persistent vegetative state, or predicting via newspaper reports how long a cancer patient has to live.

And if you thought that the basis of Bill Frist's talent was his medical degree, you'd be wrong, since Jim Bunning's special gift is every bit as powerful as Frist's and he only used to play pro baseball.

So now we know why the GOP is so opposed to stem cell research, medical insurance coverage for all those expensive tests, and what-not: They know we really don't need it.

We only need Republicans with The Sight.

The unforgiving minute

It takes a little longer than usual for Maureen Dowd to get to the nub of today's column:

Is it that she's still pissed that Bill Clinton draws a living breath? (Well, yes, of course, but somehow that's not the point.)

Is it that CNBC's Rick Santelli "struck a populist nerve" when he gleefully announced that everyone who doesn't work for Wall Street is a "loser?" (Apparently she thinks he did, but that's really only a passing observation.)

No, it turns out that what's got her in a snit this morning is that Obama isn't handling popular anger the way she thinks he should. After eighteen paragraphs, she finally gets to the bottom line:

We need leaders to help us through our crises, not provide us with crude evaluations of our character.

That's right. Because providing us with crude evaluations of our character is Maureen's job, and has been since 1995. So back off!

Minute's up.

The Oscar drinking game, 2009 edition

Courtesy of The Vagabond Scholar.

Excerpt:

If anyone says he or she is “humbled” or “blessed,” take a drink.

If the music starts before the winner is finished, take a drink.

If not all the winners in a group get to speak, take a drink.

It's all about training, discipline, and focus.

Sunday morning toons: Special "Alabama Bound!" Edition

Still no Bob Geiger. When we know, you'll know.

Daryl Cagle isn't letting the impending collapse of everything slow him down, though, lucky for us. This week's round-up covers the range from Illinois' newest Senator to the government's newest plan for a bailout.

p3 Picks of the Week: Pat Bagley, John Darkow, Jimmy Margulies, Michael Ramirez, Jerry Holbert, Steve Sack, and Adam Zyglis.

p3 World Toon Review: Brian Adcock (Scotland), Arcadio Esquivel (Costa Rica), and Hasan Bleibel (Lebanon).


I keep waiting for more political toonists to catch up with the story of California's likely return to the Iron Age, but perhaps it's still tagged as a local/regional story, rather than one that has a clear message for the rest of the country. Maybe it's a sign of how many bigger troubles are distracting us, but the sight of Der Ah-nolt, who got into office with a plurality in a booby-prize election after Gray Davis was run out of office for raising car registration fees, presiding over the complete economic meltdown of the Golden State should be bigger news than it is. Anyway, the plight of Oregon's neighbor to the south has not escaped the notice of Daryl Cagle, Lalo Alcaraz, Steve Breen, and Gordon Campbell.


Ann Telnaes celebrates the arrival--at long last--of bipartisan enthusiasm in our nation's capital.


Last Wednesday, the Murdoch-owned NYPost achieved a distinction, of sorts: It may have became the first newspaper I'm aware of to run an editorial cartoon seeming to suggest that it would be okay for police to shoot Obama because he is, after all, just a chimpanzee. Stay classy, Post!

I've talked a couple of people who read it differently. A friend says he thought it was supposed to be a reference to the old saw about the thousand monkeys seated at the thousand typewriters who eventually, by the laws of large numbers and dumb luck, manage to write Hamlet. The stimulus bill, by this reading, was basically a garbled attempt by Monkey #751--not Hamlet,, but not a document you'd want to pin the hopes of our economy on, either. (The leap from there to the cops who shot the chimp-gone-rogue is another matter.)

My friend didn't think that his reading made the toon particularly funny either, but its un-funniness, he maintained, derived from a lame-ass treatment of the comparatively harmless "thousand monkeys" joke, rather than a lame-ass treatment of the racist "blacks as sub-human" joke.

For those people familiar with the case who don't believe the artist in question is somehow being misunderstood or inappropriately taken out of context, a big reason why is the guy's impressive list of prior bad acts as well as samples from his portfolio.

(By the way, Gawker, the site that provided both of those links to Delonas' record, was listed among the "top 5 overrated blogs" by Time, which ought to tell you a lot about the value of old media's opinion about new media.

And following the ThinkProgress post, also linked above, is a list of "related posts" that's worth reviewing, just in case you'd forgotten how right-wing politics and racist taunting go hand in hand.)

In a somewhat uncharacteristic move, the Post has issued an apology for the cartoon in question.

Well, sort of an apology:

It was meant to mock an ineptly written federal stimulus bill.

Period.

But it has been taken as something else - as a depiction of President Obama, as a thinly veiled expression of racism.

This most certainly was not its intent; to those who were offended by the image, we apologize.

However, there are some in the media and in public life who have had differences with The Post in the past - and they see the incident as an opportunity for payback.

To them, no apology is due.

Sometimes a cartoon is just a cartoon - even as the opportunists seek to make it something else.

There. I'm sure we all feel much better now. But, without feeling much urge to rise to the Post's defense, it's still tricky business (see below).


Guest toons: Getting over your feelings of relief that Bush, et al., are out of office, but starting to find that the gap between Bush's policies and Obama's isn't always as wide as you'd hoped? Tom Tomorrow says you may be suffering from OWS.


Portland homeboy Jack Ohman salutes the US auto industry for its transparency.


"Record Carrot Crop in Alabama?" Well, I'm Alabama bound! We at p3 dedicate "Southern Fried Rabbit," this 1953 Looney Toons directed by Fritz Freleng, to Alabama Senator Richard Shelby, who was last seen trying to resurrect the long-debunked rumor that Obama isn't an American citizen. (Hat-tip to Doctor TV.)

One of the interesting perversities of the Web as a culture is that its denizens consider it a special point of pride to provide excruciatingly complete information--even when you'd prefer not to have it. As a case in point: "Southern Fried Rabbit," created 12 years before Jim Crow laws were overturned in the South, rarely if ever appeared on television in its uncensored form. (Below is the uncensored version; you'll know the reason why when you see it. It starts at 2:50 and runs for about 40 seconds.) I searched for quite a while to find the edited version because, although I get the joke and it's actually hard to say who's more the butt of it, the scene in question offends me and I was happy to let my purist sensibilities take a back seat to other values on this one. But you can't find the cut version online! Even if you're looking for it! In fact, almost every copy that's been uploaded at YouTube makes a point of specifically promising that it's the uncut version.

p3 Bonus Toon: Waiting to find out when you get your cut? Jesse Springer charts the course of stimulus money as it works its way through the Oregon system. (Click to enlarge.)

"When in disgrace with Fortune and men's eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state:" Special Bush administration update

Just in case you think you've got it rough during the current times of economic distress, here's something that might help put things into perspective, courtesy of the WSJ:

The jobless rate is hanging high -- for many of the roughly 3,000 political appointees who served President George W. Bush. Finding work has proved a far tougher task than those appointees expected.

"This is not a great time for anyone to be job hunting, including numerous former political appointees," said Carlos M. Gutierrez, Mr. Bush's commerce secretary. Previously chief executive of cereal maker Kellogg Co., he hopes to run a company again because "I have a lot of energy."

Only 25% to 30% of ex-Bush officials seeking full-time jobs have succeeded, estimated Eric Vautour, a Washington recruiter at Russell Reynolds Associates Inc. That "is much, much worse" than when Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton left the White House, he said. At least half those presidents' senior staffers landed employment within a month after the administration ended, Mr. Vautour recalled. […]

Mr. Gutierrez is keeping equally busy during his job hunt. He said he recently signed up for a speakers' bureau and collects $25,000 to $50,000 per lecture about issues such as global business. Last week, United Technologies Corp. named him a director.

Mr. Gutierrez would like to stay in Washington, which he acknowledges could impede his search for a corporate CEO role. "I don't want to go anywhere" because "public policy makes a difference," Mr. Gutierrez explained. He said he may ultimately consider businesses based elsewhere.

Senior Bush aides keen to work again "have to look broader than Washington," said Nels B. Olson, a recruiter for Korn/Ferry International. Mr. Vautour agrees. A number of former officials are now saying, " 'I'll look anywhere' " because they realize the Washington job market "is very tough," he said.

Our p3 condolences to Gutierrez. All things considered, we suggest that he continue to focus his job search efforts inside the Beltway, because--although the news may not have gotten there yet--the job market is much worse out here.

We also offer this item, Number 7 from Lifehacker's Top 10 Tools for Landing a Better Job: Leave without burning any bridges. In other words, do whatever you can to keep from tarnishing your name and reputation at your last job so your next potential employer won't think you're poison.

Unless it's too late for that.

Oh dear.

Oh my.

(Props to Atrios).

Saturday tunes: "Crazy for feelin' so blue"

Willie Nelson recorded it (and why not, since he wrote it?); so did several other artists and groups over the years. But Patsy Cline owned "Crazy," and planted it at #85 on the Rolling Stone's list of Top 500 Songs (between "Every Breath You Take" and "Thunder Road"--go figure).

Cline recorded that amazing vocal track with broken ribs, following a car accident. That led to a couple of stories:

Loretta Lynn remembers the first time Cline performed it at the Grand Ole Opry on crutches, she received three standing ovations. Barbara Mandrell remembers Cline introducing the song to her audiences live in concert saying "I had a hit out called 'I Fall to Pieces' and I was in a car wreck. Now I'm really worried because I have a new hit single out and it's called 'Crazy.'"

All of which leads me to a bit of shameless promotion: The Broadway Rose Theatre Company has kicked off its first season at the New Stage (its 19th season overall) with "Always . . . Patsy Cline." Sara Catherine Wheatley, who plays Cline, is fabulous. The show runs until Sunday, March 15. You'll hate yourself if you miss it.

Time to update my résumé

Good news:

Time Magazine very conspicuously did not list p3 among the 5 most overrated blogs, which can only mean that we're among the underrated, right?

Sunday afternoon toons: Special 'Getting the Valentine's Date You Want' Edition

Bob Geiger isn't back yet.

At Daryl Cagle's round-up, you get to take your pick: Cupid's arrows! Fertility drugs! Performance-enhancing drugs! Or a Treasury Secretary who's clearly on something!

p3 Picks of the Week: Milt Priggee, Cal Grondahl, Rob Rogers, J. D. Crowe, and Clay Jones.

The p3 Harmonic Toon Convergence citation (Part 1) goes to Pat Bagley and Cameron Cardow.

The p3 Harmonic Toon Convergence citation (Part 2) goes to Mike Keefe and John Trever.

The p3 Harmonic Toon Convergence citation (Part 3) goes to John Darkow and R. J. Matson.

The p3 Award for Best Adaptation from Another Medium goes to Walt Handlesman and Jeff Koterba.

p3 World Toon Review: Olle Johannsen (Sweden), Dry Bones (Israel), Dario Castellejos (Mexico), and Jeremy Nell (South Africa).


The NYTimes commissioned Abraham Lincoln caricatures from seven artists. Check out the results.


Ann Telnaes reminds us that some people get the Valentine's Day date that they want, and some don't.


Guest toon: Tom Tomorrow notices a familiar tune in the air (and it ain't "All Along the Watchtower"). Also, beware of imaginary assurances from presidents!


Portland homeboy Jack Ohman gets to the apology we'd really like to hear from Obama.


We've heard the most, but you're the least! Stan Freberg got a plug here yesterday; today he makes his triumphant return to p3, and displays his singing chops, in this 1956 Warner Bros. gem, "Three Little Bops," directed by Fritz Freleng.

p3 Bonus Toon: Jesse Springer is pissed: Congress passed this $800 billion stimulus package, and all Oregon got was this lousy T-shirt. (Click to enlarge.)



Beware of shrinkage.

And henceforth, "smallpox" shall be referred to as "happy dots"

From the p3 Lame Excuse for Political Euphemism Watch (LE PEW) desk come the following items:

Item: Family Research Council head Gary Bauer wants us to start calling his ilk "socially conservative evangelicals" instead of "the religious right." He's worried that the latter term may have become "synonymous with extremism."

Item: Blackwater, the private security contractors whose name has become synonymous with "beyond-the-law mercenaries," have taken the idea of corporate rebranding to remove toxic associations to its logical extreme, adopting a corporate name that means nothing at all: Their new corporate name is "Xe" (pronounced "zee").

According to LE PEW, additional changes to the conservative lexicon to be rolled out in the coming months will include the following:

Fiscally irresponsible will now be referred to as penny-wise.

Race- or gay-baiting will now be referred to as white-sheet preferential.

And corrupt Republicans will now be referred to as Republicans.

Saturday tunes: "I hope some screwball starts a fight"

Long John Baldry singing "I'm Ready" in 2004.

Fun fact to know 'n' trade: When singer/songwriter Reginald Dwight invented his stage name, Elton John, the "John" was borrowed from his old friend Baldry, who'd spent much of the 1960s performing in the same little beer halls all around England. (Elton produced Side 2 of Baldry's 1971 album "It Ain't Easy"--my favorite Baldry album, though not everyone's. Rod Stewart produced Side 1.)

Oregon turns 150: "A territory's great, but you gotta have a state!"

While it's indisputably true that, in his prime, Stan Freberg's work was on a par with Ernie Kovacs', that also illustrates the problem today: at this historical distance, fewer and fewer people know who the hell either one was--or "is," I should say, since (although Kovac's long gone) Stan's still very much with us, which is very much the point of the story, as it turns out.

Freberg is an advertising writer who left his indelible mark on radio and comedy record albums. At a time when American living rooms were gradually being overtaken by the tubercular blue glow of television, Freberg was all about the possibilities of sound.

He created such classics of parody as "St. George and the Dragonet" and the often-imitated-but-never-equaled "John and Marsha."

Of course, comedy records aside, what Stan basically was, was an advertising guy. His daytime job was to create clever, witty, amusing little pieces . . . which then bored their way into your brain like an earwig and stayed there. Some of his best work was legitimate (if not "serious") commercials, and they always carried his trademark love of parody and the bizarre non sequitur. I remember one Freberg radio ad--which I haven't been able to track down--encouraging businesses to consider the advantages of advertising on local radio. As an announcer described the process, listeners heard Lake Michigan drained and refilled with hot chocolate, after which helicopters dropped gigantic marshmallows into the steaming liquid. Now, concluded the announcer with satisfaction--try doing that on television.

But I digress.

In 1959, for the centennial celebration of Oregon's statehood, the Blitz Weinhard brewery (remember them?) commissioned Freberg to create "Oregon! Oregon! A Centennial Fable in Three Acts," an original three-act musical about the history of Oregon.

He did. It clocks in at just over 20 minutes and, Freberg being Freberg, it's stuffed with more inside jokes than you and I are likely to get in our lifetimes. It also finishes Act 1 with the entire state of Oregon trapped inside a bottle by a witch. (Don't take my word for it: Follow the link and click "The 1959 version of 'Oregon, Oregon!' by Stan Freberg" in the upper left.)

The good news is that Oregon escaped from the bottle (no deposit; it was only 1959) and, for its sesquicentennial--this week, officially--Freberg has been commissioned to create a fourth act, updating the story, and the entire thing will be performed at the Oregon State Fair this summer. (To hear the NPR story about the original and revival projects, featuring Pink Martini musical director and Oregon 150 board member Thomas Lauderdale, click here and then click on Listen Now.)

Where else could you ever hope to hear the phrase "'The Unsinkable Molly Brown' meets The Beaver State" in this lifetime? As Lauderdale says, the operative word here, as in all things Oregon, is "fabulousness."

Happy birthday to my adopted home state!

Remember the good old days, when only mobsters, tobacco company executives, and Reagan administration officials did this?

As opposed to people responsible for our food supply?

I have to say, though: The Fifth Amendment is still a good one. One of the best.

Officials of the peanut company blamed for a deadly salmonella outbreak refused to testify Wednesday at a House committee hearing, citing their rights to avoid possible self-incrimination.

Their move came as Energy and Commerce Chairman Henry A. Waxman , D‑Calif., disclosed e‑mails showing the company was notified in the fall by a private lab that its products tested positive for the pathogen.

Waxman disclosed the e-mails at a hearing convened by his panel’s Oversight and Investigations Subcommittee to question Stewart Parnell, president of the Peanut Corp. of America, plant manager Sammy Lightsey and federal officials about the failure to protect the food supply.

On the advice of counsel, however, both Peanut Corp. officials invoked their Fifth Amendment rights.

Sizemore: The mystery revealed!

Oregon initiative process gamer and convicted racketeer Bill Sizemore is not having a good month.

The word was out last week that the right-wing sugar daddies who've kept Sizemore financially afloat for years are finally turning off the money tap.

Apparently, after the spectacle of Sizemore (and fellow right-wing initiative trust fund baby Kevin Mannix) going 0-for-7 at the polls last November, there are limits to what even a millionaire octogenarian sexual hypnotherapist and plethysmographer will continue to spend his money on.

Now the state Attorney General's office is pushing to have the penalties against him increased for using a tax-exempt charity to promote his political operations in 2003--a tax code no-no. And he's under investigation by the Secretary of State's office for variations on the same theme in the 2008 election cycle.

For many observers, it really is sort of a puzzle: Sizemore is so politically toxic that opponents have found that branding his initiatives with the Sizemore name is almost enough by itself to ensure their defeat.

Others, more cynical, don't find it puzzling at all: Sizemore has found a way--at least until now--to make a comfortable living authoring initiatives with no chance of passing but which serve to annoy and harass his political enemies. Nice work if you can get it, I suppose.

For myself, I don't completely discount the cynics' argument, but I think it's too clever by half. When you pull a tax scam while running a losing but high-profile initiative campaign, that's dumb. When you get caught, but do it again anyway (and lose again), that's dumber.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to unveil the newest addition to the p3 Separated at Birth gallery: Failed dog groomer Harry Dunne and failed political operative Bill Sizemore.

Drinking Liberally--two groups, two meetings this week

DL Portland Metro-West meets tonight at Friends Café & Pub, 3203 SW 153rd Dr., in Beaverton (about 4 blocks south from the Beaverton Creek MAX stop), from 8pm to 11pm.

And DL Portland (downtown) meets tomorrow night at Madison's Grill, SE 9th and Hawthorne, from 7pm to 10pm. (Portland DL is having an extra meeting this month to start the shift to 2nd and 4th Thursdays.)

Now you've got two opportunities, two locations, to enjoy political chat over drinks!

And remember: DL encourages everyone to drink, and vote, responsibly.

(Cross-posted at Loaded Orygun.)

Return of the surfer

Somewhere out there today, UPS may have delivered life-saving serum to some widows and orphans, or a live kidney for a desperate recipient, but other than that, they probably didn't have a happier customer than me.

My parrot found the little rubbery-nubbin buttons on the old TV remote to be great fun as a chew toy. Eventually he had them nibbled down below the surface of the face plate, to the point that the only way I could operate the buttons was by poking at what was left of them with a chopstick. (The TV was about one notch above a doorstop without it--it only has buttons for power, channels, and volume. All the other features were gone without the remote.)

To celebrate the return of full-feature channel surfing to the p3 international headquarters, here's a simulation of the new remote in operation:

The unforgiving minute

Time to sack Petraeus.

Let him take his pension and go to work for a right-wing lobby shop. At this point it's not much more than a formality.

Note also that the coverage on this is coming from the Inter Press Service, not the in-the-tank US news media. Coincidence?

Minute's up.

Sunday morning toons: Special "Here's That Rainy Day" edition

Perhaps it has to do with the arrival of Groundhog's Day this week, but it seems to me that the news was mostly about people looking with dread for omens about the future.

Like many Americans, Bob Geiger is devoting extra time to protecting his livelihood right now. We'll let you know when he shows up again.

Daryl Cagle, on the other hand, has apparently found a way to make all this turn into a paycheck, and has his round-up ready to go, same as always.

As in real life, bankers are coming out ahead in the toon world this week. In fact, we're going to let Cagle lead off this week's p3 Picks of the Week.

Other p3 picks include: R. J. Matson, Larry Wright, John Darkow, David Fitzsimmons, Scott Stantis, and Matt Davies.

The p3 Award for Best Adaptation from Another Medium goes to Gary Brookins.

The p3 Great Historical Truth in Ten Words or Less Award goes to Milt Priggee.


p3 World Toon Review: Christo Komarnitski (Bulgaria), Paresh Nath (India), Patrick Chappatte (Switzerland), Cameron Cardow (Canada),


Batocchio returns! Here's Right-Wing Cartoon Watch #34--reading them so you don't have to. The topics range from Iraq to Bush's departure and Obama's inauguration, to Congress and the economy, to Gitmo and Gaza, to Blagojevich and Caroline Kennedy, to the environment and abortion. As Batocchio advises, take it in small doses.


I've said before that my one regret about the end of the Bush administration would be the retiring of Ann Telnaes wicked and spot-on version of Dick Cheney. When will I learn--be careful what you wish for.


Guest toon: At Red Meat, folks are struggling for ideas on how to cope with current conditions, with mixed results at best.


Portland homeboy Jack Ohman salutes the flatliners. (And that toon was from January 30th--it got even worse in the following week, although how you can do worse than flatlining is something of a mystery.)


Wait--where did the moose come from? Crisp narrative logic isn't exactly what drives this 1941 Woody Woodpecker toon. Still, it's got cute animals, sight gags, violence with household utensils--the standard resume for work of the era. Woody's voice is done by Gracie Lantz, wife of producer Walter Lantz.

p3 Bonus Toon: Jesse Springer salutes the bad idea that keeps on giving. (Click to enlarge.)

Saturday tunes: "She take me money anna runna Venezuela!"

"Matilda"--the mock-tragic calypso classic (and how many of those can you name?)--was Harry Belafonte's first single, released in 1953. This performance is from the 1997 concert film "An Evening With Harry Belafonte."

Utterly infectious. Everybody--sing the chorus!

Now just the people running Internet Explorer!

Now just the Firefox people!

Now just the podcast people, wherever you're standing right now!

Now just the people with Safari--and you know who you are!

Blumenauer: Republicans are "using the most economical, energy-efficient, and healthy forms of transportation as their whipping post"

HuffPo has Rep. Earl Blumenauer's response to the move by Senator Jim DeMint (R - Dementia) to strike funding for bicycle and pedestrian pathways from the stimulus bill.

It is a fine mixture of outrage at Republican backwardness and rolling the numbers:

Investment in bike paths will not only improve our economy, and take our country in the right direction for the future; it is exactly the kind of investment the American people want.

Moreover, bicycle and pedestrian paths are precisely the kind of infrastructure projects our country needs. These projects tend to the most "shovel-ready" and are more labor-intensive than other projects-- therefore putting more people to work per dollar spent. […]

Recent transportation surveys indicate that 52% of Americans want to bike more than they do now - but don't, because of the lack of safe and connected bicycle facilities.

Think about it: More than 50% of working Americans live less than 5 miles from home, an easy bicycle commute. Already more than 490,000 Americans bike to work; in Portland, 8% of downtown workers are bicycle commuters. Individually, they are saving $1,825 in auto-related costs, reducing their carbon emissions by 128 pounds per year, saving 145 gallons of gasoline, avoiding 50 hours of being stuck in traffic, burning 9,000 calories, reducing their risk of heart attack and stroke by 50%, and enjoying 14% fewer claims on their health insurance.

Nationally, if we doubled the current 1% of all trips by bike to 2%, we would collectively save more 693 million gallons of gasoline - that's more than $5 billion dollars - each year. From 2007 - 2008, bicyclists reduced the amount Americans drive by 100 million miles.

Bicycling also has immediate and direct benefits for communities that invest in bicycle paths, bike lanes, trails, and secure bicycle parking. For each $1 million invested in an FHWA-approved paved bicycle or multi-use trail, the local economy gains 65 jobs and between $50 and $100 million in local economic benefits. Some communities are already showing the results of these investments. After investing less than 1% of their total transportation budget in bicycle facilities in the past eight years, the City of Portland has seen a 144% increase in bicycle use - and the growth of a $90 million bicycle industry that has added nearly 50 new businesses in just the past two years. […]

It's time the Republicans got the point about what Americans want. Investments in bike and pedestrian infrastructure will help us create jobs and build healthier more livable communities for the future - these projects are the gifts that keep on giving.

BikePortland.org has the details on DeMint's amendment. Considering how much it takes to create a stimulus package, it's actually kind of impressive how much damage can be done with just 17 words.

(Cross-posted at Loaded Orygun.)

Filling the idle hours

Jimmy Carter has Habitat for Humanity. George H. W. Bush and Bill Clinton have international consulting. Even Ronald Reagan had his $1 million corporate spokesmodel gig in Japan to occupy his time after he left the Oval Office.

But whatever shall we do with Junior, the kid who's muffed every job he's ever held in his life?

Well, here's a thought:

Elliot's Hardware — a local Dallas hardware store — has "appealed to former President George W. Bush to spend his new-found retirement working as a part-time greeter at its Maple Avenue store." "Our greeters are a legendary part of our customer service," said Kyle Walters, Elliott's Hardware president and CEO. "And we are offering the position to Mr. Bush in all sincerity. We think it would be a great fit for him as he settles back into life in Dallas." If he chooses to take the position, Bush will enjoy company perks such as "a flexible part-time schedule (to allow travel to Crawford)," a parking space, and an employee discount.

On second thought, though--maybe not. How do we put this delicately?

He is portally challenged. He's differently entrance-abled.

He has door issues.

Politics aside, this is probably just not the person you want helping people enter your store.

Like many other Americans (including over half a million whose jobs, like George's, went away just last month), it appears that he will have to keep looking.

Those who refuse to learn from history

. . . are doomed to listen to Hannity and Limbaugh and Malkin and The Civil War Re-Enactment Society Senate Republicans howl that anything they don't like is "socialism."

And what they particularly don't like is the idea of Americans catching on that large-scale government projects can sometimes provide them with things that they really want, things that the private sector can't or won't deliver.

Salon.com has a slide show today ironically titled "Greatest Achievements of American Socialism," featuring some of the enduring public goods--every one of which put Americans to work--created by massive government spending projects during the Depression. (Click the image to see it.)



(Of the 24 items in the slide show, two are in Oregon. I imagine most of you can name one or the other--can you name both?)

The accompanying Salon article is here (requires a subscription, or a day pass, or viewing some ads).

Drinking Liberally tonight at Madison's Grill

The Portland DL chapter's regular get-together--it's all about the drinks and political conversation--is tonight at 7pm, at Madison's Grill, SE 11th and Madison (map).

And for those who base their social calendars on such considerations, I'll be there too, after missing the last meeting. (Insert a brief pause here while everyone pulls up the calendar on their Blackberries and iPhones to make the appropriate notation.)

And remember: DL encourages everyone to drink, and vote, responsibly.

What's your life worth?

There are various ways of calculating the answer, using such metrics as the retail cost of the chemicals that make up your body, the black-market price for your harvested organs, or the value of the life insurance policy your spouse forged your signature on after the economy soured.

Here's another one:

[I]n 2006, the average penalty assessed employers [by the Department of Labor] for violations that "pose a substantial probability of death or serious physical harm" was $881.

Put that another way: Under the anti-labor policies of Bush Department of Labor, your safety at work has, statistically speaking, come to be worth about the same as the cost of a new plasma TV for the executive lounge. Not much of an incentive to worry about keeping you in one piece.

That's something to keep in mind as you watch the Civil War Re-Enactment Society Senate Republicans fighting tooth and nail (or, if you prefer, musket and bayonet) to keep Hilda Solis' name from even being advanced as Obama's nominee for Secretary of Labor--on the grounds that she would do things that would, you know, be beneficial to workers in this country, in particular, by supporting the Employee Free Choice Act.

The fight to prevent collective bargaining isn't only about determining the price of your life--broadly speaking, the unprecedented growth of the American middle class that it's taken corporatist Republicans 40 years of constant work to grind down to the moribund condition we find it in today, hanging on by a thread, was the product of the wave of unionization after WWII--but that's a good place to start.

"Whenever they speak up and speak out and raise hell, I’ll be there."

ACLU of Texas' web page has a lovely post marking the one-year anniversary of the death of their favorite daughter and the patron saint of civil liberties, Molly Ivins.

Molly was nothing if not quotable, and there are gems sprinkled throughout, but this one really gets at the heart of the matter:

Every time someone down the line is irreverent about authority, I’ll have my monument. Every time some kid who was born a nigger, a kike, a wop, a Polack, a gook, a gimp, a fag, or just a plain maverick lifts up her head and dares anyone to stop her, I’ll have my monument. Every time they peaceably assemble to petition their government for redress of a grievance, I’ll be there. Whenever they worship as they please (or not at all), I’ll be there. Whenever they speak up and speak out and raise hell, I’ll be there. And every time some blue-bellied, full-blooded nincompoop who holds elected office is called to the floor for deciding to keep us safe by rewriting the Constitution, or by suspending due process and holding a citizen indefinitely without legal representation, I’ll be there. Now that is immortality. I don't have any children, so I've decided to claim all the future freedom-fighters and hell-raisers as my kin. I figure freedom and justice beat having my name in marble any day. Besides, if there is another life after this one, think how much we'll get to laugh watching it all.

Today would be a good day to drop a couple of bucks to the ACLU in remembrance of Molly. Because if you think they get to kick back just because Bush and his fellow racketeers have left Washington, think again.

(Here's the OR chapter; here's the TX chapter. If you're from one of the other 48, some quick Googling should do the trick.)

(Hat tip to James the Elder.)

Colbert ratchets up the treatment for Limbaugh and GOP

The Colbert Report let a good bit of its usual ironic distance slip in last night's edition of "The Wørd." The topic was Colbert's celebration of the new leader of the Republican party: sexual tourist and hillbilly heroin addict Rush Limbaugh.

But even Colbert's cheerful-idiot manqué doesn't do much to soften the blow of some of this material. It's still funny as hell, but considerably harsher than usual.

This, for example, is one of the nicer moments from the segment:

[Colbert plays Limbaugh's voice, which is now the ringtone on his phone:]

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.

[Colbert continues:]

So true! It's kind of like what talk radio does for unattractive men.

And then he starts playing rough. See for yourself:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

The Word - Army of One

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The sign that the gloves were off for this one: Several of the deepest cuts were delivered not by the ironic alter-ego voice of the Wørd beside him on-screen, which usually slips in the subversive punchline to Colbert's unself-aware set-ups, but en claire by Colbert himself.

The unforgiving minute

Breaking news:

Serial justice abuser George W. Bush will finally see the inside of a courthouse.

Sort of.

Minute's up.

If it matters to Oregonians . . .

Newsweek examines the story of why you read about Sam Adams in Willamette Week, and not . . . uhm . . . elsewhere.

The article includes speculation by a media ethics consultant from the Poynter Institute as to why the Oregonian got scooped:

[T]he issue may have more to do with the culture at The Oregonian. The paper has built its reputation on thoughtful, narrative coverage, which is a rare and valuable kind of journalism, she says, but it doesn't lend itself well to digging up sex scandals.

I don't know what kind of sex reporting the Poynter Institute keeps in its library, but in my experience the narrative style works for it just fine.

Nigel Jaquiss makes a more plausible argument:

But Jaquiss views [the argument that the O was hamstrung by internal debates about reporting the private lives of public figures] as a copout, an overly simple explanation for a problem that is more about one-newspaper towns being a little too cozy with local power brokers.

My favorite line from the article is this back-handed compliment to Jaquiss from the O's editor, Sandy Rowe:

Nigel has built quite a reputation with sex scandal stories, and deservedly so. He is dogged and very good at that genre.

You can almost hear the rustle of her level-3 HazMat suit, protecting her from contamination by any fluids from "that genre."

(Hat tip to Anne for the link and the title.)

(Cross-posted at Loaded Orygun.)

Who gives a WHTI where you are right at this moment?

Here's your choice, America:

Is it worse that the government and corporations want ever-increasing panoptic monitoring and data-gathering programs directed at all of us?

Or that, once they get this information in hand, they have absolutely no idea how to keep it secure?

Chris Paget just did you a service by hacking your passport and stealing your identity. Using a $250 Motorola RFID reader and antenna connected to his laptop, Chris recently drove around San Francisco reading RFID tags from passports, driver licenses, and other identity documents. In just 20 minutes, he found and cloned the passports of two very unaware US citizens. Fortunately, Chris wears a white hat; his video demonstration is meant to raise awareness to what he calls the unsuitability of RFID for tagging people. Specifically, he's hoping to help get the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative -- a homeland security project -- scrapped.

At least the members of the Party, servants of Orwell's fictitious Big Brother, had the simple professional self-respect to keep their files secure from every pony-tailed hacker with a compact car and a laptop. (Although their technology was comparatively primative--the Ministry of Peace could only dream about tagging us like migratory waterfowl.)

Never heard of WHTI, the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative? You might want to read here (especially the part about the Passport Card) before they have a chance to hear about you.

(Hat tip to AmericaBlog, although to quibble about titles, I think the problem is less about someone stealing your passport, per se, than it's about someone electronically tracking you to every business, meeting, or residence you go to.)

Bad news on the doorstep: 50 years on

Buddy Holly (September 7, 1936 – February 3, 1959):

Here's a great performance of "Peggy Sue" from "The Arthur Murray Dance Party" in December, 1957.

As an anthropological note: "Arthur Murray Dance Party" served much the same function for people of the Eisenhower Age that MTV's "Total Request Live" did for their grandchildren, without the bong hits. I see that the Arthur Murray dance studio near where I live has recently changed its name, so perhaps it should be mentioned that Murray was the avatar of the kind of dancing that involved numbered foot print charts. It was a different age.

And that brings me to part of what I like most about this clip: the set-up. It's touching to watch the host brace her audience for the appearance of actual rock and rollers on the show, warning them to "keep a nice open mind about what the young people go for," as if she were preparing us to see ritual cannibalism on stage (because heaven only knows what "the young people" may "go for" today)--when after all it's just those polite, clean-cut young boys who called themselves The Crickets.

Perhaps it's a lucky thing for them that "Arthur Murray's Dance Party" went off the air before they ever found out about Country Joe and the Fish. Or what became of Gary Busey.

Sunday morning toons: Special "Save Our Endangered Toonists" Edition

The bad sign across an economy is when you see the unemployment ripple effect begin: job losses at Point A cause layoffs at the next point in the economic chain, whether it means suppliers or buyers or sellers, and then the next, and the next. (At least that applies to the part of our economy that still actually produces anything, as opposed to simply manipulating paper. Meanwhile, over on the simply-manipulating-paper side of the economy, the lilies of the field, the--let's dispense with euphemisms: I refer to the Wall Street bankers and, against all reason and justice, they're doing fine.)

The classic example of the American entrepreneur is the person who sits down with their own tools, creates something of value, and sells it for enough to continue working. And that, my friends, describes political cartoonists to a tee-- sometimes to an actual tee, in fact--and they're hurting right now.

And recent days bring news that two longtime staff cartoonists -- the Ventura County (Calif.) Star's Steve Greenberg and the Kansas City Star's Lee Judge -- have been handed their walking papers. That, of course, follows such news in recent months that Dayton's Pulitzer-winning Mike Peters is cutting back his workload, for instance, and that Cincinnati's Pulitzer-winning legend Jim Borgman took the Inquirer's buyout offer.

So today, we pause to mourn anew the Endangered Species that is the Staff Political Cartoonist.

"Cartoon positions are disappearing -- probably forever," Greenberg told us yesterday. The artist, who was part of larger layoffs at the Ventura County paper, added: "I believe it's very counterproductive for newspapers to cut their best visual people, praying that the Internet will save them. ... They're cutting the people who are in the best position to help them survive."

Borgman told Comic Riffs recently that eventually, there will be room for only a few Mike Luckovichs -- that is, widely syndicated staff editorial cartoonists. He advised others seeking to pursue this field to "go local" in order to stay relevant and necessary.

And Ted Rall, president of the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists, recently told 'Riffs: "There ought to be 1,000 staff cartoonists, but the newspaper industry is committing suicide."

If what plagues almost all American newspapers continues to ail us, then for political cartoonists, 2009 could be a bloodbath -- and unfortunately, federal regulators may bail out a Bear Stearns, but not so the artists who can deftly draw a political pachyderm, donkey or stern Russian bear.

Newspaper owners/publishers are getting their asses handed to them by the world wide web--not only by Craig's List, which siphoned off most of their life-giving classified ad revenue, but by other news media who migrated to (or created themselves) on the web much more successfully than the daily newspapers. Eight years later, the web sites of dailies remain some of the most unfriendly and difficult to use sites out there.

And the slowest progress has been in making their sites visually interesting and accessible--it's sad to see how little progress they've made in their basic conceptual thinking since 1981.

Which brings us back to toons. A lot of the names mentioned in that quote above are familiar to readers of the p3 Sunday toons. There are others at risk, too, if you read Willamette Week and other alternative weeklies--alt weekly regulars This Modern World and Red Meat have lost one of their main syndication arrangements. Red Meat creator Max Cannon calls it the beginning of the "Alternative Comics Apocalypse:"

It's a sad state of affairs, and potentially the end of an industry--if you want to call it that--where a small handful of ragtag scribblers like myself have slaved for many years (for very little money, if you ever wondered) to bring you a laugh or two every week in the pages of your local alt weekly. Over the last year or so, cartoonists such as myself, Derf, Tom Tomorrow, Lloyd Dangle, Ruben Bolling, Jen Sorenson, Ted Rall and many, many talented others, have watched our strips steadily and systematically dropped from the pages of your local weeklies and alternative publications. Times are tough, to be sure, and most of these free publications rely on discretionary advertising by local businesses and classified ads to keep the presses rolling and issues on the stands. When the money gets tight, the first line item in any small business budget to get slashed is advertising, so I understand and sympathize with the precarious position in which many weeklies now find themselves.

However, I can't help but be left somewhat incredulous that the disturbing recent trend of removing ALL COMICS from the pages of weekly publications (which many have already done) is somehow going to keep them solvent. If, indeed the humble $10 to $20 that I generally get paid for a RED MEAT strip is going to bring the whole operation tumbling down, then the alt-weekly industry is already dead on its feet--it just hasn't fallen over into the dirt yet.

Don't wait to find the toons suddenly missing from your favorite alternative weekly--drop the editor an email now, telling them that the toons are one of the things that keeps you a regular reader.

(WW hasn't said anything about their plans to keep publishing these toons--or not--and I've been under the weather the last couple of days and haven't been able to follow up myself. Anyone on the inside know anything?)

Meanwhile, let us honor, while we can, the toonists who still stand:

Bob Geiger's still taking time off.

But Daryl Cagle's round-up is still rich in output from hard-working toonists.

p3 Picks of the Week: Pat Bagley, Mike Lane, Bob Englehart, Jeff Parker, John Darkow, a href="http://cagle.msnbc.com/working/090126/wolverton.jpg">Monte Wolvertoon, and Steve Sack.

The p3 Award for Packing the Most Truth into Ten Words goes to Milt Priggee.

p3 World Toon Review: Stephane Peray (Thailand), Pavel Constantin (Romania), Manny Francisco (The Philippines), and Petar Pismestrovic (Austria).


In a time when profiteers need to be reined in, Ann Telnaes offers Obama the best advice he's going to get this week.


Guest toon: Now that all is said and done, now that the big Marine helicopter left the Ellipse behind the White House, what happens next? The K Chronicles knows.


Portland homeboy Jack Ohman presents: Diagnosis: Flatline.


"I'm your little señoriter:" To celebrate the best haircut I've gotten in a long time--and one that I had to persevere against heroic odds to get, too, although that's another story--p3 proudly presents #12 on the Top 50 Cartoons of All Time, Bugs Bunny in the 1950 classic "Rabbit of Seville," directed by Chuck Jones. (Slight problems with sound sync-up.)

p3 Bonus Toon: Jesse Springer poses the Super Zen Riddle (click to enlarge):