Filling the idle hours

Jimmy Carter has Habitat for Humanity. George H. W. Bush and Bill Clinton have international consulting. Even Ronald Reagan had his $1 million corporate spokesmodel gig in Japan to occupy his time after he left the Oval Office.

But whatever shall we do with Junior, the kid who's muffed every job he's ever held in his life?

Well, here's a thought:

Elliot's Hardware — a local Dallas hardware store — has "appealed to former President George W. Bush to spend his new-found retirement working as a part-time greeter at its Maple Avenue store." "Our greeters are a legendary part of our customer service," said Kyle Walters, Elliott's Hardware president and CEO. "And we are offering the position to Mr. Bush in all sincerity. We think it would be a great fit for him as he settles back into life in Dallas." If he chooses to take the position, Bush will enjoy company perks such as "a flexible part-time schedule (to allow travel to Crawford)," a parking space, and an employee discount.

On second thought, though--maybe not. How do we put this delicately?

He is portally challenged. He's differently entrance-abled.

He has door issues.

Politics aside, this is probably just not the person you want helping people enter your store.

Like many other Americans (including over half a million whose jobs, like George's, went away just last month), it appears that he will have to keep looking.