The weekly p3 Oregon news limerick challenge

Bad news for followers of Calliope, the muse of poetry:

TJ of Loaded Orygun (who was for almost a year my ticket to broadcast immortality by reading my Oregon news limericks on the Carl + Christine Show on KPOJ each Monday morning) is moving on up to a new arrangement with them, and it looks like that particular weekly artistic contribution of mine to the larger political conversation could fall through the cracks.

At least for the moment. It ain't over until it's over.

If you liked the limerick challenge and want to bring it back to KPOJ--and I mean, how can you not? Hm? Really?--I can't see any reason not to let the good folks KPOJ know. Contact info for Carl, Christine, and producer Paul Pimentel is here. (Internet streaming and podcast listeners, as well as locals, are welcome to weigh in.)

And if you feel the need for talking points, we've got something short, sweet, and memorable that should do the trick:

Vox populi, vox dei. (You could also mention that April is National Poetry Month. Just remember to be nice. Nobody likes a poetry bully.)

And while we're waiting for the groundswell of popular opinion to wash over the KPOJ studios, here's this week's limerick. Fill in the blank with the missing word or phrase from Oregon news. The answer is in the Comments section, below.

Ready? Begin!

Greenhouse gas--we've got more than enough.
But the reason could make you feel gruff.
The main cause of our plight?
Seems George Carlin was right:
It's 'cause Portlanders have so much ____________.

Bonus limerick: On the subject of nominating a replacement for Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens, Mad Kane has a request.

The weekly p3 Oregon news limerick challenge

Our p3 watchword this week is "instant gratification."

Normally I hold back the answers to the weekly Oregon news limerick challenge until after TJ's read them on the Carl + Christine Show on AM620 KPOJ on Monday morning, but he won't be on tomorrow, so the answer is in the Comments section right now.

Fill in the blank with the word or phrase from this week's Oregon news. Ready? Begin!

Right-wing AGs filed suit in a swarm.
"Unconstitutional!" --so they all storm.
But hey, Rob McKenna--
Stick this on your antenna:
Oregon supports _______________.

Bonus limericks: The Emily Dickinson of political humor, Mad Kane, gets her licks in twice this week.

The Oregon News Limerick Challenge on KPOJ

Special this week: Carl answers the burning question: Is he, or is he not, a public numismatist?

The weekly p3 Oregon news limerick challenge

(Update: Answers are in the Comments section, below.)

For security and safety reasons, the answers to this week's p3 Oregon News Limericks have been hidden under seat 17, aisle 9, row 22 in Hinkle Fieldhouse until 7:15 Monday morning, at which time they will retrieved and read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul, on KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show.

The answers will be posted in the comments section below after the show's over.

Ready? Begin!

It's a low-carbon-footprint fan's dream:
Down in Klamath Falls, "green" reigns supreme.
And the town, to confirm'll
Say "We Heart Geothermal"
Their energy plan's gathering ____________.


Keeping hydrated? Everyone oughter,
But the cost and waste make it fraughter.
Still, the state could help out
Through its purchasing clout
By declining to buy _______________.


Steelhead trout and bicycling cavorters
Had their own numismatic supporters.
But it's all to the good,
For we'll soon see Mt. Hood
On the backs of our __________________.

Bonus limerick: Mad Kane declares Mitt Romney to be both fearless and peerless, although not necessarily in a good way.>

The weekly Oregon news limerick challenge

(Update: TJ of Loaded Orygun, Carl, and Christine had what the beltway types call a full and frank exchange of views on last night's health care reform vote this morning on KPOJ's Carl + Christine show, the practical upshot being that the time traditionally allotted to limericks was given to the Great Health Care Cage Match instead. [The podcast is here.] It made good talk radio, but it was bad news for those loyal radio fans of my limericks--and I know you're out there somewhere--who were denied their dose of lowbrow art for a second week in a row.

Still, the answers to this week's limericks are now in the Comments, below. Tune back in next week and keep your fingers crossed)


For security and safety reasons, the answers to this week's Oregon News Limericks have been duct-taped to the hair on Rep. Bart Stupak's leg until 7:15 Monday morning, at which time they will removed--very, very slowly--and read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show.

The answers will be posted in the comments section below after the show's over.

Ready? Begin!

In Culver, crime shows no increase
But locals aren't feeling at peace.
Yes, a Barney or Andy
Would really be handy--
They're a small town in need of _________________.

The huge mammals' prospects seemed pale,
But they're now on the path to prevail.
So flag down Kirk and Scotty--
Once their numbers were spotty,
But it's looking up for __________________.

Some schools have to wrestle with mugging,
School-yard slugging, or even hard-drugging.
Now we add something new
To the list of taboos:
Unacceptable levels of ________________ .

Bonus limerick: What caused the "deem and pass" idea to get dropped? Mad Kane has a theory.

The weekly Oregon news limerick challenge

This week was a departure from the routine. Struggling heroically against symptoms we won't go into here, I texted TJ of Loaded Orygun with the word: He was on his own, limerick-wise, this week. He cowboyed up and produced the following rhymes, thrown down for Carl, Christine, and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show.

In the process, I like to think TJ--and all of us, really--learned an important lesson: Poetry ain't pretty. So there's no p3 limerick challenge this week; just TJ putting his metrical thing down.

Bonus limerick: This week Mad Kane asks a question I've wondered about myself: Why is it that conservatives always seem to go there?

The Oregon News Limerick Challenge on KPOJ

Special this week: Christine's back! And she's brought with her the ominous threat of the "Thirty-point Inspection," plus her love of spiny frogs.

(More Oregon news limericks, plus the answers, here.)

The weekly Oregon news limerick challenge

(Update: The answers are now posted in the comments section below.)

For security and safety reasons, the answers to this week's Oregon News Limericks have been tucked under the accelerator pedal of an unmarked Toyota sedan until 7:15 Monday morning, at which time they (or at least their charred remains) will removed and read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show.

The answers will be posted in the comments section below after the show's over tomorrow.

For your ease of rhyming, none of this week's limericks uses the words chimney, citrus, scissors, orange, or Nantucket. Ready? Begin!

In Clackamas, or so we have heard,
The lines of free speech can get blurred
One man opted to linger
After raising his finger,
And got busted for ________________.


Arizona and Kansas said, 'Fine!'
And Washington thinks it's divine.
Now it's here and promoting
Oregonians voting
By letting them ________________.


Texas cages and kennels were clogged,
But it turns out that that was prologue:
They're cute and they're tiny--
Nocturnal and spiny--
So we welcome those rescued _____________.


Green advocates touted their charms,
But their side effects raise some alarms.
Certain flora and fauna
Might soon be a gauna,
Say opponents of Oregon ____________ .

Bonus limerick: This week Mad Kane waxes poetic about National Grammar Day and the odious Lynne Cheney. (Does anyone ever "wane poetic?" Not MK, apparently.)

(Cross-posted at Loaded Orygun.)

The Oregon News Limerick Challenge on KPOJ

Special this week: We learned the hard way: Rhyme and phrasing patterns that look quite clever on the printed page--for example, "demise, or" and "wiser"--are twelve different kinds of death on live radio.

(More Oregon news limericks, plus the answers, here.)

The weekly Oregon news limerick challenge

(Update: Answers are in the Comments.)

After more artistic suffering than it's fair to make you read about, I've finished this week's Oregon News Limericks. For security reasons, the answers have been duct-taped to the underside of the Burnside Bridge until 7:15 Monday morning, at which time they will be peeled loose and read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show.

Starting this week, TJ's Monday morning appearance begins a half-hour earlier, and to mark the occasion we're modifying the conditions of competition a little bit: All this week's limericks (not merely the leftovers, per tradition) are below. The answers will be posted in the comments section below after the show's over.

Remember: No rhyming off the person sitting next to you. Ready? Begin!

When Facebook picked Prineville, on whole,
No one guessed they might need crowd control.
Once the bestest of friends,
Now a backlash impends:
All that power is coming from _______ .


Was it dry weather caused its demise, or
Nearby wells? Something else? None's the wiser.
Though they called it "perpetual"
We're still willing to bet you will
Ask: "Hey! What's become of the ____________?"


Its distant Grant County location
Made it into a far-right temptation.
But we're pleased to relay
That the folks in John Day
Just said no to the _____________.

Bonus limerick: Both Lamar Alexander and Frank Gafney are the subjects of Mad Kane limericks this week--which is more than either one deserves.

(Cross-posted at Loaded Orygun.)

The LO/KPOJ "Lost Limerick Challenge"

For security's sake, this week's Loaded Orygun/KPOJ Oregon news limericks--written by me--were taped to the bottom of Hannah Teter 's snowboard until 7.30am this morning, at which time they were unearthed and read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show. They're now posted at LO.

(Well, strictly speaking, it was only Carl and Paul this morning, for reasons explained in Limerick #1.)

Meanwhile, here's a lagniappe for regular p3 readers: Not one but two lost limericks this week. Fill in the blank with the word or phrase from this week's Oregon news:

Drop your cigarette--put down that bourbon!
Here's statistics you might find disturbin':
The numbers bear witmess--
as to wellness and fitness,
Our healthiest counties are ___________ .


Archaeologists aren't often brusque--
But they labored from dawn until dusk.
At a Grand Ronde farmstead
Alert Wilma and Fred--
They've discovered ________________ .

(The answers can be found in the Comments below, or in this week's Spanning the State at Loaded Orygun.)

Bonus limerick: Mad Kane's anguished cry: "Enough with the Voltaire!"

The LO/KPOJ "Lost Limerick Challenge"

For security's sake, this week's Loaded Orygun/KPOJ Oregon news limericks--composed by me--were written on the palm of Sarah Palin's left hand until 7.30am this morning, at which time they were copied down and read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, to be answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show. They're now posted at LO.

Analysis of the Oregon gubernatorial race (call it the free verse part of the program) ate into limerick time this morning. So once again, p3 readers get a little something extra: Fill in the blank with the word or phrase from this week's Oregon news (and give yourself bonus points for identifying the ironic connection between the two items):

Though the habitat's friends raised alarm
They've been left little choice but disarm.
Didn't take much accountin'
To decide that Steens Mountain
Will be home to a brand-new ___________.


This is stewardship at its hard core-est
And it's Oregon at its Al Gore-est.
It will help Klamath County
to preserve nature's bounty--
It's a plan for our newest ___________ .

(The answer can be found in the Comments below, or in this week's Spanning the State at Loaded Orygun.)

Bonus limerick: Mad Kane shares what is arguably a somewhat-jaded limerick on the subject of St. Valentine's Day.

The LO/KPOJ "Lost Limerick Challenge"

For security's sake, this week's Loaded Orygun/KPOJ Oregon news limericks--written by me--were buried in an empty buffalo wings box in the end zone at Lucas Oil Stadium until 7.30am this morning, at which time they were unearthed and read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show. They're now posted at LO.

I had a good time yesterday evening imagining the fun Carl, et al., could have with this limerick, but time ran out on them this morning. So once again, p3 readers get a little something extra: Fill in the blank with the word or phrase from this week's Oregon news:

With a 4 and 1 record, he ain't
Just an ape with the usual complaints
But the Oregon Zoo
Says he's now 4 and 2--
If he'd only predicted ___________ !

(The answer can be found in the Comments below, or in this week's Spanning the State at Loaded Orygun.)

Bonus limerick: Mad Kane presents a limerick on the incident that nearly edged out the Super Bowl as the main topic of discussion this weekend.

The LO/KPOJ "Lost Limerick Challenge"

Astute listeners may have noticed a pronounced lack of TJ on this morning's Carl + Christine show on AM620KPOJ. According to my briefing, this was because the Torrid One missed an early morning bus connection. Live by TriMet, die by Trimet.

And you probably thought they sent a limo for him, not to mention picking all the red M&M's out of the bowl in the green room.

Anyway, for whatever reason, KPOJ's loss is once again p3's gain. For the full effect, you may find it helpful to have a friend crouch behind the radio and read this morning's limericks aloud to you, then fill in the blank with the correct word or phrase from this week's Oregon news:

"CSI" would find no clues to trail.
As a "Prison Break" plot--Epic Fail!
Medford cops would agree
It's no challenge, you see,
Catching someone who __________.


With tuition hikes causing dismay,
And the high price of textbooks today,
It may comfort dorm residents
As they watch college presidents
Take a cut in their annual _________ .


With the Coast Guard's help, now Maude and Myrtle
Will be able to clear their last hurdle
First it's SeaWorld's devotion,
Then back to the ocean,
For these formerly stranded ___________.

(The answers can be found in the Comments below, or in this week's Spanning the State at Loaded Orygun.)

Bonus limerick: From Mad Kane: "Fighting Firewalls with Kindle Blogs."

The LO/KPOJ "Lost Limerick Challenge"

This morning's Oregon news limericks, as written by me, read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show, are posted at LO.

Once again, despite precision accounting, there was one limerick too many, and you get to reap the puzzle-solving benefit. Fill in the blank with the word or phrase from this week's Oregon news:

Portland's streetcars cause no traffic jams;
Others point with some pride to its tram,
But the cycling-obsessed
Know why Portland's the best . . .
Well, except for one place: ________________.

(The answer can be found in the Comments below, or in this week's Spanning the State at Loaded Orygun.)

Bonus limericks: We proudly present for your politico-aesthetic contemplation Ode to Weak-Kneed Democrats and Ode to Odious Corporate Personhood, two political limericks from p3's newest blogroll buddy, Mad Kane.

Air America Radio: 3/31/04 - 1/25/10

What Goldy said:

I suppose you could call Air America a failure, and from a business perspective it certainly was. It never operated in the black, and seemed to be in the midst of financial and management turmoil since before it launched in April of 2004.

But it helped catapult Al Franken into the U.S. Senate, and launched a then unknown Rachel Maddow on the path toward her own show on MSNBC, and will leave behind dozens of thriving progressive talk stations nationwide. And without the ecosystem that Air America spawned, Ed Schultz and other successful progressive talkers might never have had the opportunity to reach a national audience.

And Air America was also the platform from its Portland affiliate, progressive talk radio station KPOJ was launched and continues to thrive.

I wrote at the time that Air America went live that the question would be this: Is the dreadfully self-pleased know-nothingism of conservative talk radio--and at that point, conservative talk radio was nearly all there was--a function of conservatism as it now exists, or of talk radio? If it's the latter, the pressing need for an Air America wasn't too clear to me.

And yes, Air America programming has had its drudges over the years, but for every Bill Press, cheerfully steering the conversation toward the beltway truism of the week, there were Franken, Rhodes, Seder, and Maddow. (Although, for mixed reasons, only Maddow remained part of Air America's line-up at the end.)

The LO/KPOJ "Lost Limerick Challenge"

This morning's second hour on the Carl + Christine show on KPOJ had an odd vibe to it, and not just because Christine was gone for the day. The regular session with TJ of Loaded Orygun, which traditionally reaches its artistic apotheosis with my Spanning the State Oregon news limericks, ran long and there was no time left for the Poet's Corner.

Well, KPOJ listeners' loss is p3's gain. Here are a whopping four limericks for you to test your metrical mettle on. No left-overs for you guys this time--you get the Complete Works. For each limerick, fill in the blank with the word or phrase from this week's Oregon news:

They don't care about jobs--let's be "straight:"
They make money from furthering hate.
Yes, our state's tax opponents
Hired some sleazy proponents--
They're the same ones who fought __________.


They barely outlasted the drought,
But the Bushies almost wiped them out.
After years of frustration:
A new administration
Will help to restore our __________.


Some deny our economy's crippled.
"Check the GDP--barely a ripple!"
Well, here's a discovery
For the fans of recovery:
Our foreclosure rate recently ___________ .


Liberal media? Not even a kernel.
Tax fairness? They think it's infernal!
Just exactly how checkered
Is our paper of record?
They're approved now by _______.

(The answers can be found in the Comments below, or in this week's Spanning the State at Loaded Orygun.)

The LO/KPOJ "Lost Limerick Challenge"

This morning's Oregon news limerick, as written by me, read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show, are posted at LO.

As you'll hear from the podcast, a wounded TJ was having to do his on-air performance while one-handing it on his iPhone this week, so we've ended up with not one but two lost limericks for your puzzle-solving pleasure this week. For each rhyme, fill in the blank with the word or phrase from this week's Oregon news:

As a bomb squad case, this one was rare,
Still, some caution was sensible there.
It lacked fuses or wire--
Its crotch wasn't on fire--
It was simply a lost ____________ .


In Corvallis, it's beavers and coaches
They applaud as the season approaches.
But a time's drawing near
When they'll all raise a cheer
For those six-legged wonders, __________ .

(The answer can be found in the Comments below, or in this week's Spanning the State at Loaded Orygun.)

The LO/KPOJ "Lost Limerick Challenge"

This morning's Oregon news limerick, as written by me, read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show, are posted at LO.

As is so often the case, there was a left-over limerick, re-heated here for your puzzle-solving pleasure. Fill in the blank with the word or phrase from this week's Oregon news:

What began as an idiot-thief case,
Might end up as a coming-to-grief case.
Yes, although he's no ogre,
Bet they pissed off John Kroger
When they ripped off the state AG's ________________.

(The answer can be found in the Comments below, or in this week's Spanning the State at Loaded Orygun.)

The LO/KPOJ "Lost Limerick Challenge"

This morning's Oregon news limerick, as written by me, read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Michael (subbing for Paul), on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show, are posted at LO.

This week's Lost Limerick is kind of a buzzkill, but I'm counting on you to tough it out, for art's sake. Fill in the blank with the word or phrase from this week's Oregon news:

No one's hiring for clerking or booking,
Gas pumping or short-order cooking,
Jobless numbers are flat,
But the cause might be that
More job seekers are no longer __________ .

(The answer can be found in the Comments below, or in this week's Spanning the State at Loaded Orygun.)