Sunday, February 28, 2010

The weekly Oregon news limerick challenge

(Update: Answers are in the Comments.)

After more artistic suffering than it's fair to make you read about, I've finished this week's Oregon News Limericks. For security reasons, the answers have been duct-taped to the underside of the Burnside Bridge until 7:15 Monday morning, at which time they will be peeled loose and read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show.

Starting this week, TJ's Monday morning appearance begins a half-hour earlier, and to mark the occasion we're modifying the conditions of competition a little bit: All this week's limericks (not merely the leftovers, per tradition) are below. The answers will be posted in the comments section below after the show's over.

Remember: No rhyming off the person sitting next to you. Ready? Begin!

When Facebook picked Prineville, on whole,
No one guessed they might need crowd control.
Once the bestest of friends,
Now a backlash impends:
All that power is coming from _______ .

Was it dry weather caused its demise, or
Nearby wells? Something else? None's the wiser.
Though they called it "perpetual"
We're still willing to bet you will
Ask: "Hey! What's become of the ____________?"

Its distant Grant County location
Made it into a far-right temptation.
But we're pleased to relay
That the folks in John Day
Just said no to the _____________.

Bonus limerick: Both Lamar Alexander and Frank Gafney are the subjects of Mad Kane limericks this week--which is more than either one deserves.

(Cross-posted at Loaded Orygun.)

1 comment:

Nothstine said...

Limerick #1:

Answer: Coal.

The story: Just a few weeks ago, we had a limerick celebrating the new jobs that will be created by the Facebook data center that's going in Paul's hometown of Prineville--where jobs are scarce right now.

But this month, they're taking unexpected heat--so to speak--because the huge energy needs for the Facebook servers will be met by coal-fired generators from PacificCorp.

The ecological objections, from Greenpeace and others, caught Facebook by surprise:

Best quote: "This has been a big learning experience for us," said Facebook spokeswoman Kathleen Loughlin. "We're six years old. We've never owned a data center before. We've never owned land before."

Limerick #2:

Answer: Geyser

The story: Tourists looking for "Old Perpetual," Oregon's only geyser, located in Lakeview, get some bad news: Last fall, after shooting near-steaming water on cue since 1923, it went dry.

Why? Depends on who in Lakeview you ask: Disruptions caused by recent geothermal energy development? Partial collapse of the man-made well that originally formed the geyser? Not enough ground-water run-off to power it? No one's sure.

But regardless of the reason, 'Old Perpetual' may not be back: The town plans to draw even more water from the underground table for ambitious plans to export renewable solar, wind, and geothermal energy.

Limerick #3:

Answer: Aryan Nation

The story: A decade after Aryan Nation was driven into bankruptcy so it could be driven out of Idaho, the poetically named Paul Mullet, showed up in John Day last month, claiming to be AN's leader and dropping his business card with commercial real estate agents and the local paper.

He was looking for downtown office space, he said, but no agent in town would do business with him.

And when word got out that the white supremacists were looking at their town, 300 residents--and an overflow of another 150--met last week at the first of two town gatherings to make their feelings clear: No Aryan Nation, no Neo-Nazis.

That's about 25% of John Day's 2000 Census population of 1800.