Sunday, March 21, 2010

The weekly Oregon news limerick challenge

(Update: TJ of Loaded Orygun, Carl, and Christine had what the beltway types call a full and frank exchange of views on last night's health care reform vote this morning on KPOJ's Carl + Christine show, the practical upshot being that the time traditionally allotted to limericks was given to the Great Health Care Cage Match instead. [The podcast is here.] It made good talk radio, but it was bad news for those loyal radio fans of my limericks--and I know you're out there somewhere--who were denied their dose of lowbrow art for a second week in a row.

Still, the answers to this week's limericks are now in the Comments, below. Tune back in next week and keep your fingers crossed)

For security and safety reasons, the answers to this week's Oregon News Limericks have been duct-taped to the hair on Rep. Bart Stupak's leg until 7:15 Monday morning, at which time they will removed--very, very slowly--and read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show.

The answers will be posted in the comments section below after the show's over.

Ready? Begin!

In Culver, crime shows no increase
But locals aren't feeling at peace.
Yes, a Barney or Andy
Would really be handy--
They're a small town in need of _________________.

The huge mammals' prospects seemed pale,
But they're now on the path to prevail.
So flag down Kirk and Scotty--
Once their numbers were spotty,
But it's looking up for __________________.

Some schools have to wrestle with mugging,
School-yard slugging, or even hard-drugging.
Now we add something new
To the list of taboos:
Unacceptable levels of ________________ .

Bonus limerick: What caused the "deem and pass" idea to get dropped? Mad Kane has a theory.

1 comment:

Nothstine said...

Limerick #1:

Answer: Police


The story: Culver, Oregon, population 1300, has been without city police for several months. They had one police officer, but last year she pled guilty to misusing the city's credit card, and what police force the town had was disbanded.

A county sheriff lived in Culver and kept an eye on things on his way between home and his headquarters, but he resigned after pleading no contest to 2nd degree misconduct.

So far there's been an increase in broken windows and curfew violations, but not much more. The town still wants a police officer again, but they only have a budget of about $500K for everything. They're hoping they can workout some interim deal with the Jackson County Sheriff's office.

Limerick #2:

Answer: Humpback whales


The story: As all Star Trek fans know, humpback whales are smart, social, and adaptable. That seems to be key to their rebounding numbers off the Oregon and California coast.

50 years ago the humpback population had been reduced to around 1400 in the northern Pacific, mainly by commercial whaling. Today it's up to around 18,000, and prospects seem better than in generations.

Alert Tea Party members quickly announced that this proves global warming is a hoax.

Humpbacks are figuring out how to cope with changing ocean and food conditions, as well as sonar, shipping, whaling, and other man-made threats. They like the California/Oregon coast this time of year because they like to dine on squid, salmon, and small crustaceans--and really, who doesn't?

Quote: ”They consistently seem to blow the doors off bounded rationality,” Fred Sharpe, founder of the Alaska Whale Foundation.

Limerick #3:

Answer: Hugging


The story: Sylvan Middle School has banned hugging after the practice went viral in recent weeks.

Students were getting to class late, hallways were clogged, some students were uncomfortable with it, others were using it to cop feels, parents were worried--and the principal won't discuss a "school bus incident" that somehow involved the police.

Fun hugging facts: A middle school in Bend cracked down on hugging in 2005, and last November a Massachusetts high school had to ban the word "meep."