Sunday, March 7, 2010

The weekly Oregon news limerick challenge

(Update: The answers are now posted in the comments section below.)

For security and safety reasons, the answers to this week's Oregon News Limericks have been tucked under the accelerator pedal of an unmarked Toyota sedan until 7:15 Monday morning, at which time they (or at least their charred remains) will removed and read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show.

The answers will be posted in the comments section below after the show's over tomorrow.

For your ease of rhyming, none of this week's limericks uses the words chimney, citrus, scissors, orange, or Nantucket. Ready? Begin!

In Clackamas, or so we have heard,
The lines of free speech can get blurred
One man opted to linger
After raising his finger,
And got busted for ________________.

Arizona and Kansas said, 'Fine!'
And Washington thinks it's divine.
Now it's here and promoting
Oregonians voting
By letting them ________________.

Texas cages and kennels were clogged,
But it turns out that that was prologue:
They're cute and they're tiny--
Nocturnal and spiny--
So we welcome those rescued _____________.

Green advocates touted their charms,
But their side effects raise some alarms.
Certain flora and fauna
Might soon be a gauna,
Say opponents of Oregon ____________ .

Bonus limerick: This week Mad Kane waxes poetic about National Grammar Day and the odious Lynne Cheney. (Does anyone ever "wane poetic?" Not MK, apparently.)

(Cross-posted at Loaded Orygun.)


Nothstine said...


Limerick #1:

Answer: Flipping the bird

The story: A Clackamas man keeps having run-ins with the local sheriff's deputies because he keeps flipping them the bird. He's filed a federal lawsuit, claiming the annoyed deputies are harassing him for constitutionally protected speech.

He claims that flashing the forbidden finger was also a protest against police violence.

In 2007, he displayed his digital protest to some deputies as he drove by, who then cited him for lane change and license violations--although not for the one-finger salute. The other tickets were eventually tossed.

He was detained a month later for giving another deputy the universal gesture of contempt, but released without charges.


Limerick #2:

Answer: register online

The story: Last week Oregon became the fourth state--after Washington, Kansas, and Arizona--to implement online voter registration. Go to You'll need a current driver's license or Oregon DMV number.

Sec. of State Kate Brown says it's cheaper, more accurate, and more secure.

It'll also make it easier for older voters and those serving in the military to register.

So: It's accurate, cheap, secure, inclusive--how long until the Tea Partiers decide this is somehow a sinister plot by ACORN?


Limerick #3:

Answer: hedgehogs

The story: Oregon is now home for dozens of African Pygmy Hedgehogs, out of some 600 recently rescued by the SPCA of Texas--in a very special episode of "Animal COPS."

The little nocturnal insect-eaters were seized from a wholesaler of exotic animals that had thousands of animals kept in inhumane conditions.

Some hedgehogs wind up homeless because kids who are addicted to Sonic the Hedgehog convince their parents to buy one--then find out it takes more than the Chaos Emeralds at Level Seven to keep them going.

A spokesperson for the Texas SPCA says, Hedgehogs can do almost everything other pets can do, except play Frisbee.


Limerick #4:

Answer: Wind farms

The story: First the Columbia River Gorge, then Steens Mountain, and now Craig Mountain in Union County--there's a growing opposition to wind turbines. It's partly NIMBY, partly environmental: Locals say the towers--many about the height of the Wells Fargo Building in Portland--spoil the landscape and threaten the habitat of local species.

It's a painful irony: Wind farms were touted as clean and renewable, and a source of revenue for cash-strapped communities--but much of the opposition is coming on environmental grounds.

Will we soon see Priuses with bumperstickers: SUPPORT GREEN ENERGY: EAT A SAGE GROUSE?


Mad Kane said...

Fun limericks, as always. Sadly, I only got two of them right. Ah well...

Thanks for linking!

Nothstine said...

And thanks right back at you for playing along. BTW, I've turned on a handful of my poetically inclined friends to your complete-the-limerick challenges, and they're finding it great fun. The added traffic probably won't crash your servers, but every little bit . . .

Have a good weekend.