Tuesday, June 28, 2016

From the nation that gave us Milton and Burns

(Updated below.)

It really began when the late and utterly lamented Spy Magazine nicknamed their home-town boy "The Short-Fingered Vulgarian." It was clear even then -- in the late 1980s -- that this got under his notoriously thin skin and stayed there.

This remained something of a cult-joke until about a year ago, when The Donald (as he was called in the 1980s) let his tissue-thin skin lead him into a ridiculous and dangerous run for president -- ridiculous because he's so manifestly unqualified in so many ways, and dangerous because in this era of tea party no-nothingness he actually is likely to get the nomination of one of the two national parties we're allowed to have. That would be the crazy, out of control one.

At that point, there were a number of new monikers awarded the man. Here at p3 we have taken to calling him the slo-mo exploding citrus. Actually, it was originally the slo-mo exploding overripe citrus, but that didn't roll off the tongue so easily. And as far as I can tell, it hasn't caught on. Big freaking surprise.

Charlie Pierce coined two names for him: "The Vulgar Talking Yam," which captures both his vegetable vulgarity and his orangeness, and also "He, Trump," which nails both his Caesarian ambitions and his third-person megalomania.

Booman named him the Mangled Apricot Hellbeast, and for a while I thought the trophy would go to Cheeto Jesus, partly because it came from an angry GOP insider.

But just to be frank, no one gets that kind of pop-eyed indignation going like the Scots. Don't take my word for it. Take his.  Or, even better, hers.

(Update #1: Or his. p3 deeply regrets the omission.)

Which is why this is magnificent:

Trump arrived in Scotland -- to promote his golf course there, oblivious of the fact that Scotland had just voted against the rest of the UK, except for London and Northern Ireland, to stay in the European Union. They lost. They were unhappy.

And they weren't pleased that Trump -- by whatever name you might call him -- was clueless about the consequences of the Exit vote, except for the part that would make him more money when their currency tanked. Good way to make friends.

And this is what Trump got in return.

My god, the Scots are beautiful when they're angry. Follow the whole list. Seriously.

Update: #2 This is for those of you who will only accept something if it comes straight from the Tenth Doctor (Tenant comes in at the 5:20-mark, but you should watch the whole thing because, you know, it's la Bee, and she's awesome).

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