(Wowsers! Greetings to everyone from Mike's Blog Round Up who stopped by! And thanks to Batocchio for helping the snake swallow the elephant! But to get back on track: You know your party's nominating convention is radioactive . . . )
. . . when Ted Nugent begs off attending because of – get this! – his "intensive concert touring schedule." As Chandler Bing would say, could there be a more obviously implausible excuse? I think "intensive concert touring schedule" should be the "I'm washing my hair on Saturday night" of the twenty-first century. It has that same level of a disdain that can't even be bothered to sound believable. (And by the way, Ted: Nineteen seventy-seven called, and wants its shirt back.) Clay Jones has a suggestion, below, to fill the awkward silence at the podium.
On only distantly-related matters: It took years, and a lot of taxpayer money, and many shamelessly prodded connections – remember the bait shop in Hot Springs? the blue dress? Sidney Blumenthal? – but the nothingburger of the Whitewater investigation, intended to deligitimize the election of a Democratic president, finally uncovered a little nugget of political gold when it eventually led to Bill Clinton being questioned under oath about his extramarital affairs. (This, in turn, finally provided the grounds the GOP thought would justify impeachment, and it did – followed by Clinton's acquittal, his rise in the polls, the GOP losing a zillion seats in Congress, and Newt Gingrich's resignation in humiliation.)
And so, a generation later, after years, and a lot of taxpayer money, and many shamelessly prodded connections – remember Hillary's concussion? Susan Rice on Face the Nation? Sidney Blumenthal?* – the nothingburger that has been the Benghazi inquisition, intended to deligitimize a Democratic presidential frontrunner, refuses to die, due most recently by the unforced error by Bill Clinton and Attorney General Lynch. But god love Rep. Trey Gowdy and his committee: They're still out there looking for that nugget of gold. Ask Matt Davies, below.
(And here's a heads-up to Gowdy: Keep your calendar for 2036 open: Not even twenty years after resigning his congressional seat in disgrace, Newt Gingrich is being mentioned as a short-lister for the job of running mate with the most disliked presidential candidate in his lifetime.)
*As far as I'm aware, this is the only known case of the use of Sidney Blumenthal to satisfy the Comedy Rule of Three. I'm proud of this achievement.
Today's toons were selected by an elaborate vetting process including a 100-question form, and extensive review of tax records and public speeches and articles, from the week's offerings at McClatchy DC, Cartoon Movement, Go Comics, Politico's Cartoon Gallery, Daryl Cagle's Political Cartoons, About.com, and other fine sources of toony goodness.
p3 Picks of the week: Adam Zyglis, Miguel Villalba, Signe Wilkinson, Steve Sack, Jeff Danziger, Matt Davies, John Deering, Clay Jones, Henry Payne, Matt Weurker, and Monte Wolverton.
p3 Best of Show: Jeff Danziger (although, as far as I know, neither he nor any other political cartoonist took me up on my generous offer).
p3 Legion of Merit: Tom Toles.
p3 Cross of Ghoul: Darrin Bell.
p3 "Sorry, but that's what we Time Lords call 'A fixed point in time'" Memo of Consolation: Phil Hands.
Ann Telnaes considers Boris Johnson's handling of Britain's exit from the EU to be nothing to sneeze at.
Mark Fiore says that Hillary-haters among congressional Republicans (but I repeat myself) are trying to raise the Albania question – you know: Shifty. Untrustable.
Tom Tomorrow tunes in on the realistic, practical defender of occasional, regrettable mass morality incidents. Hundred-yard stare and all.
Keith Knight looks on in fear at the wrath of dog.
Reuben Bolling tells the story of the UK's blustery day.
Red Meat salutes that local electronics chain that's about more than just a battery club.
The Comic Curmudgeon yearns for "the days when a bird-man wearing saddle shoes and what appear to be purple leg warmers but no pants can have a frank, honest, and open discussion about his sex life in the newspaper." In context, it makes sense.
Comic Strip of the Day looks at the latest neverwozzer from the Benghazi inquisition and concludes, sadly, No, at long last, we have no sense of decency.
But the Black Knight 'as a fire-breathin' dragon! Incredibly, even after the Hunting Trilogy. "Rabbit of Seville," and "What's Opera, Doc?" it was a fairly minor piece, "Knighty Knight Bugs," directed in 1958 by Friz Freling, that finally won Bugs Bunny his one and only Oscar for Best Animated Short. And, as Wikipedia notes, "Knighty Knight Bugs" was to a considerable degree a retread of another face-off between Bugs and Yosemite Sam from 1954. Watch "Knighty Knight Bugs" at eBaum's World.
The Right-Sized Oregon Toon Block:
Ex-Oregonian Jack Ohman captures every kid's disappointment for this holiday weekend.
Documented Ex-Oregonian Jen Sorensen documents the process of the worst man in the world trying – desperately trying – to have his come-to-Jesus moment.
Matt Bors looks at the threat posed by a ubiquitous concealed-carry device.
Test your toon-captioning superpowers at The New Yorker's weekly caption-the-cartoon contest. (Rules here.) And you can browse The New Yorker's cartoon gallery here.
The p3 Sunday Comics Read-Along: Pearls Before Swine, Doonesbury, Rhymes with Orange, Zits, Adam @ Home, Mutts, Over the Hedge, Get Fuzzy, Prince Valiant, Blondie, Bizarro, Mother Goose & Grimm, Rose is Rose, Luann, Hagar the Horrible, Pickles, Rubes, Grand Avenue, Freshly Squeezed, The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee, and Jumble.