After all, the problem with the poorly vetted governor is that, the more you search the internet, the worse things look for her, while the very opposite is true of the Python: He's been fully vetted. In fact, his whole record has been out there for the world to see for almost forty years.
And it all looks good for Republicans:
- Palin the Python has international experience, having traveled the globe--around the world and pole-to-pole--for the BBC (although the Republicans will probably want to downplay the BBC part--too elitist).
- Palin the Python is all about bursting in doors, being fanatical, and using torture, which for Republicans surely transcends small differences between evangelical Christianity and Roman Catholicism.
- Palin the Python could attract both the anti-environmental clear-cut voters and the Larry Craig wide-stance voters, since he cuts down trees, and wears high heels, suspendies and a bra.
- As for endangered species--e.g., parrots--he has a market-driven, anti-regulatory approach: He doesn't want to protect them, he wants to sell them, even if it means nailing their feet to the perch.
- And he's staunchly pro-life, believing that every sperm is sacred.
As an added benefit, the campaign won't even have to throw away all those McCain/Palin bumper stickers.
Nominating Michael Palin gives the Republicans what they've been longing for ever since it became apparent that McCain had sewn up the nomination: Something completely different.
(Thanks to The Movie Guy for reminding me about the sperm.)