Fine. I blame myself for being so distanced from delightful writing like this.
By way of background, I later railed (safely in absentia) against my high school and undergraduate literature teachers for never giving me a clue about the likes of Jane Austin -- although it's not like I gave even the very best of them anything that could reasonably be called a sporting chance or even a conversational opening.
Ahem.
Pressing ahead: I tip my pointy hat with a scorched brim and the iffily-spelled word "WIZZARD" embroidered around the crown to Lance Mannion et fili whose good judgment got me into the game. So far I've listened to the unabridged audiobooks of Interesting Times and The Last Hero. I prefer IT, partly because of the audiobook reader and partly because Rincewind is great fun,
But as far as opening sentences go, those stories are but neverwozzers next to Night Watch:
Sam Vimes sighed when he heard the scream, but he finished shaving before he did anything about it
Now seriously: Can a tee shot like that go anywhere but high and 375 yard down range?
And, not surprisingly once you get the hang of it all, Sam Vimes seems to be one of the good ones. Great fun.
Opponents of Social Security are deliberately confusing Social Security with Medicare; they are distorting reality. There are simple facts that should be reported: 1) Social Security never contributed a dime to the deficit; 2) Social Security softened the impact of the Reagan deficits by building up a surplus; 3) the federal government borrowed the money and spent it on other things; 4) the federal government has to pay this money back because it really belongs to the working people who paid their FICA deductions every pay day. The elites in both parties know the day is approaching when the federal government has to come up with the trillions it borrowed from the workers. That is the crisis the politicians don’t want to deal with, so they create a phony argument that slyly blames working people for their problem. That’s the propaganda they want the public to believe.
(Emphasis added. H/t to Batocchio's characteristically thorough post on the topic. The full CJR interview with Grieder is going in the long-neglected p3 Readings list.)
First came the Oregon House's idiotic Concurrent Resolution 14, which would adopt "The Code of the West" as the standard for legislative deportment. It's a shot in the arm in these difficult economic times for the state's spittoon manufacturers, of course, but the rest of us can only hope that the State Senate will have the good sense to bury this silliness quickly and deeply.
Now, hot on the heels of that bit of legislative foolishness comes news that Initiative 17 -- among whose chief petitioners are those Torquemadas of the Oregon initiative process, Kevin Mannix and Wayne Brady -- has been received at the Secretary of State's office, aiming for the 2012 ballot.
Its purpose is to enshrine the so-called "Oregon Castle Document" in state law.
A measure designed to preserve Oregon's rich heritage of medieval architecture?
You wish.
Section 1. In order to guarantee every person the right to be secure in his or her home or business without having to retreat from any intruder, and to ensure the peaceful enjoyment of land without concern as to trespassers, the People adopt this statute as the Oregon Castle Document.
Section 2. An owner of any land is not liable for any injury, death or other damage suffered by a trespasser on the land where such injury, death, or other damage is caused by any condition of the land or its fixtures. The only exception to this section is the following: this section does not protect an owner from liability for placing a spring gun, or other device, which is placed intentionally for the purpose of injuring a person.
Get it? It would establish an Oregonian's home as his castle (or "her castle," but I suspect they're mainly thinking "his" -- the whole scheme just has too much of the Y chromosome about it).
I have to admit that implementing the "Oregon Castle Document" would be a cheaper option than, say, adequately funding police and public safety in the state. No need to raise taxes if all a homeowner has to do is open fire on strangers.
("That's right, officer -- He didn't know who won the 1951 World Series, so I commenced a-blastin'.")
But honestly: It's as if Republicans are no longer even trying to pretend that they're aware of the problems of America in the 21st century, much less that they're interested in solving them. In a way, the candor of it is almost refreshing.
Watch for initiatives restoring Lèse Majesté and Droit de Seigneur, coming soon to a ballot near you.
Meanwhile, Initiative 17 would need 87,213 signatures to get on the 2012 ballot. The secretary of state's office is taking comments on the initiative through April 18th.
Flammable. An oddity, chiefly useful in saving lives. The common word meaning "combustible" is inflammable. But some people are thrown off by the in- and think inflammable means "not combustible." For this reason, trucks carrying gasoline or explosives are now marked FLAMMABLE. Unless you are operating such a truck and hence are concerned with the safety of children and illiterates, use inflammable.
(Updated below, with link repair and political clarification.)
Today's toon selections feature real kinetic cartooning action!TM They've been rigorously identified and picked out of the rubble from this week's political cartoon no-fly zone at Slate, Time, Mario Piperni, About.com, and Daryl Cagle:
The Ann Telnaes site at the Washington Post wasn't working last week. Now it's back with a new format . . . and no permalink to this week's animation about South Dakota's 72-hour waiting period for abortions. (Slightly farther down the page, they've also misspelled Mike Luckovich's name on the link to his syndicated cartoons. Come on, WaPo -- shape up!)
But Mark Fiore's latest animation, Even Smarter Bombs, is working just fine!
Portland homeboy Jack Ohmanreviews the 2012 GOP primary race so far.
"They were supposed to come to life, but the experiment failed, somehow." Wait . . . "Somehow??" You mean, otherwise it shoulda worked? "The Mummy Strikes" (1943), the 14th of 17 beautifully rotoscoped Superman cartoons by Famous Studios (and prior to that, by Fleischer Studios) has the whole package: A suspicious murder, the tomb of an ancient Egyptian boy-king, scientists meddling in things scientists were never meant to meddle in, nosy reporters, and . . . say it with me . . . a dreadful curse. Directed by Dan Gordon, animated by H. C. Ellison and the magnificently-named Orestes Calpini. Musical credit shared by Fleischer/Famous stalwart Sammy Timberg with Winston Sharples (who went on to compose for the inferior King Features Popeye cartoons of the 1960s, plus such minor classics as "Milton the Monster" and "Tennesee Tuxedo"). Clark/Superman is voiced by Bud Collier, who kept that gig from the original radio serial all the way through (I hate to even utter the name) "Superfriends." (Update: Embed link fixed. Also, there's no truth to the story that, when the governors of Michigan, Ohio, and Wisconsin heard "The Mummy Strikes," they said "Then we'll cut off his food stamps!" That's just an malicious rumor.)
(Note to Facebook friends: If you're reading this in FB Notes, you'll need to click View Original Post, below, to see the video.)
No p3 Bonus Toon:Jesse Springer's on vacation. Here -- browse his site. Just don't touch anything until he gets back.
The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire in New York City on March 25, 1911, was the deadliest industrial disaster in the history of the city of New York and resulted in the fourth highest loss of life from an industrial accident in U.S. history. The fire caused the deaths of 146 garment workers, who either died from the fire or jumped to their deaths. Most of the victims were recent Jewish and Italian immigrant women; the youngest were two fourteen-year-old girls. Many of the workers could not escape the burning building because the managers had locked the doors to the stairwells and exits. People jumped from the eighth, ninth, and tenth floors. The fire led to legislation requiring improved factory safety standards and helped spur the growth of the International Ladies' Garment Workers' Union, which fought for better working conditions for sweatshop workers.
In the memory of those women -- those who died and those after, who would not let those deaths be meaningless -- here's Pete Seeger and Arlo Guthrie singing "Union Maid" (written by Arlo's dad).
1. In Sweden, all consumer products come from one of six places: Ikea, Apple, Nokia, Erikson, Scandia, or McDonald's. The only known exception to this rule is bottled mineral water, which never has a brand name.
2. In Sweden, ill-tempered, workaholic, out of shape, middle-aged, commitment-phobic men get offered all the sex they could ever want, by women from every conceivable walk and station of life. They are not required to show gratitude or offer apology for this.
3. In Sweden, everyone is required to dress in black trousers, T-shirt, and a leather jacket.
4. In Sweden, when one enters any structure -- e.g., a shed, living room, condo, conference room, or abandoned factory -- one must immediately estimate the available square footage.
5. In Sweden, no form of human social interaction -- including casual conversation, business meetings, sexual intercourse, kidnapping, torture, and political assassination -- can take place until coffee has been served.
Spring officially arrived a few minutes ago, at 4:21pm Pacific Time. This gratifying event was first reported by Mrs. Dorothy Stetson of Freeport, Long Island, who promptly telephoned the Mayor.
The Society for Affirming the End of the World at once went into a special session and postponed the arrival of that event for TWENTY-FOUR HOURS.
And, for your apocalyptic convenience, all rolled into the same week.
Today's selections have been carefully chosen from the week's political cartoon pages at Slate, Time, Mario Piperni, About.com, and Daryl Cagle, and stored under a case of potassium iodide tablets:
Portland homeboy Jack Ohman is carefully monitoring the latest meltdown following the earthquake/tsunami in Japan.
You mean a poor little teensy-weensy itsy-bitsy defenseless little boid? "A Tale of Two Kitties," directed by Bob Clampett, is notable for several things. First, it marks the first appearance of Babbit and Catsello, the WB parodies of Abbot and Costello. Second, it marks first appearance, catch phrases and all, of the character who (when he finally was given feathers) would become Tweety Bird. (Catsello and Tweety were voiced by Mel Blanc; Babbit was voiced without credit by WB all-arounder Tedd Pierce. And the bird wasn't named yet, although in production he was referred to as Orson.) Third, it only takes one glimpse at Catsello to know where Sean Hannity got his classic look. The "Hays Commission" joke is one of two that made the censors nervous.
(Note to Facebook friends: If you're reading this in FB Notes, you'll need to click View Original Post, below, to see the video.)
There's a nice monograph waiting to be written, cataloguing the ways that Thomas Kuhn's Structure of Scientific Revolutions has been read wrongly--and the political patterns that emerge from that misuse.
This week's post title comes from John Sherffius' best-in-show toon, below.
Today's selections have been carefully culled, by the same law firm that handles Newt Gingrich's prenuptial agreements, from the week's political cartoon pages at Slate, Time, Mario Piperni, About.com, and Daryl Cagle:
Alternate Realities, Part 2: Tom the Dancing Bug Nobody screws with our national security!
Opus creator, artist Berke Breathed, hasn't been seen much here at the p3 Sunday toons since he ended the story of our favorite flightless waterfowl a few years ago. Comic Riffs catches up with him, and explains the significance of the crucial "broccoli scene" in the upcoming Disney 3-D treatment of "Mars Needs Moms." (Anyone else think it's no coincidence that the scene includes a cat yakking up on the floor? Didn't think so. Oop! Ack!)
Here's Barry Blitt'sillustration to accompany Frank Rich's valedictory NYTimes column. Rich, as you may know, is leaving the Times to write in some capacity for The New Yorker [see below] (where Blitt's work is also a regular treat); p3 fans of Blitt will still find him here on Sundays.
[Sheepish update, via tactful email:
Your readers probably know this, but don't look for Frank at The New Yorker. Frank has always had more Norman Mailer in him than Dorothy Parker.
Graceful, isn't it? That's a take-off on a standard gag line by 1930s-40s radio comedian Jerry Colonna -- making his second appearance here at the Sunday morning toons. (There's another, similar line, later in the story.) "The Wacky Worm" was directed in 1941 by Fritz Freleng, voiced by Mel Blanc (Blanc probably did Colonna's voice, too; it would be cheaper that way), with musical direction by Carl Stalling (all uncredited). Oddly, I can't track down any information about the song ("All night long, I'm day dreaming . . . ") the worm sings when he first appears. Musical director Stalling mostly ransacked freely from the Warner Bros. own music catalog for the Loonie Tunes and Merrie Melodies, so it should be easily found, but . . . ?
(Note to Facebook friends: If you're reading this in FB Notes, you'll need to click View Original Post, below, to see the video.)
p3 Bonus Toon:Jesse Springer sees an ominous sign for Oregon's barely-detectable economic recovery (click to enlarge).
As I remember the story, John Williams actually had this magnificent anthem written and in the trunk before he was brought in to compose the unforgettable score for "Star Wars."
Bonus points if you can hear the tonic-and-down-a-third move that was part of the main "Star Wars" theme and also the villains' march in "Superman, The Movie."
And also, just for the record:
The Han who didn't shoot first at Greedo was the one who would have come back to help Luke at the Death Star.
The Han who shot first at Greedo under the table would never have come back to help Luke at the Death Star.
There's no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate," Gingrich told CBN's David Brody, in an interview taped at the Iowa Faith and Freedom Coalition and posted online Tuesday night.
You see, it wasn't that Gingrich was cheating, per se, on his wife (context makes it unclear which wife, and which mistress, he's specifically referring to here). It's that he was driven by how passionately he felt about this country and things got a little, you know, out of hand. (It's easier than you might think.)
It's a new variation on an old ploy: If you didn't want to go all the way, you shouldn't have got me feeling so patriotic.
Here at p3 we urge the disgraced former speaker, purported intellectual, and eternal presidential campaign tease to turn lemons into lemonade by adopting this as his 2012 campaign theme song:
Let's do it for our country,
The red, white and the blue.
Its Uncle Sam who's asking,
So your mother will approve.
Tomorrow I'll be fighting and I'll win this war for you.
Let's do it for our country --
Our country wants us to.
Bullets are exploding --
They'll soon be at the door.
It's something to America you never gave before.
Yeah, let's do it for our country --
The red, white and the blue.
If the president were standing here,
I'm sure he would approve.
I'll be a mighty soldier before this night is through.
Let's do this for our country --
Our country wants us to.
All honors to Morgan for the idea, and h/t to longtime p3 friend and correspondent, proud Doctor Beyond, for passing it along.
(By the way, with this post I'm officially launching a new content label: GOP secret playlist.)
Steve at No More Mister Nice Blog isn't confident that Scott Walker, the Wisconsin Republicans, and the Koch brothers have awakened a sleeping giant:
Yeah, yeah, yeah -- Walker and the bill itself are well below 50% in the polls. But surely you've noticed: for Republicans, 40% is 50%. For Democrats most of the time, not even 60% is 50%.
Read the whole thing, and -- as he says -- prove him wrong. If you can.
Here's Robert Reich on Clarence Thomas selling out (the early years):
Back in 1991 when Thomas was nominated to the Supreme Court, Citizens United spent $100,000 to support his nomination. The in-kind contribution presumably should have been disclosed by Thomas.
One is the once-mightiest of a band of failed guardians of order in the galaxy, now aging and driven into exile -- and the other is a revered Jedi master.
[Update: Link to video clip below was finally fixed. I think.]
I mean, where do we even start?
There's Fred Phelps, who took time out from insisting the only purpose of the First Amendment is to create a Christian theocratic government in the US to insist that the only purpose of the First Amendment is to let him spew more anti-gay, anti-troop poison. (The First Amendment won, but unfortunately so did Phelps.)
There's Wisconson's Governor Scott Walker, whose popularity is circling the drain even as his assault on unions seems to be cracking at the edges (to mix my metaphors).
There's Muammar Gadhafi, who clearly doesn't quite get which way the wind is blowing in north Africa.
There's Newt Gingrich, who may or may not launch a (wildly unsuccessful) bid for the 2012 GOP nomination, as he's threatened to do every four years since 1996.
There's the Congress, that has managed to postpone a full-blown federal shutdown -- for a couple of weeks.
There's the onset of the NCAA basketball tournament.
And, of course, there's Charlie Sheen just being Charlie Sheen, only a little more so.
Today's selections were chosen by a complex, computer-generated series of brackets, weightings, and rankings from this week's political cartoon pages at Slate, Time, Mario Piperni, About.com, and Daryl Cagle:
Ann Telnaes detects a rare instance of the GOP remembering a lesson from history. (Hey, WaPo: I get that you have to have ads, but is it too much to ask that the ad not be twice as long as the Telnaes animation? Hm?)
Keith Knight gets his p3 Massive Harmonic Toon Convergence Certificatea little late, but it's still from the heart.
Tom the Dancing Bug presents Hollywood Tales. (Spoiler alert: TtDB comes very close to getting a piece of the p3 Massive Harmonic Toon Convergence for himself this week, too, but at the last minutes the p3 judges ruled against it.)
Google is using their logo doodle this weekend to celebrate the anniversary of uber cartoon artist Will Eisner, often called The Father of the Graphic Novel.
Johnny Depp has been calling it "the worst regional theater we could possibly be doing" -- and he means it in a good way! Comic Riffs has the scoop on why Rango could be the cool animated film of the season without making you pay an extra eight bucks for throw-away glasses. (Also, Roger Ebert likes it a lot, and you should read why.)
At Red Meat, Milk Man Dan multitasks. (Warning: Don't read this while you're drinking milk, but not for the usual reason you're probably thinking.)
Frank Rich is off this week at the NYTimes, so there's no Barry Blitt illustration to upstage it. While we're waiting for things to get back on track there, I urge you in the strongest possible terms to go to Blitt's web site, click Whatnot, and find his multilevel-funny New Yorker cover from October 6, 2008.
Another age, when the performance-enhancing substance of choice in baseball was spinach: Here's Popeye's baseball story (apparently obligatory for all cartoon stars at the time), the 1937 "The Twisker Pitcher," directed by Seymour Kneitel. (Hey, why don't Bluto's arms do strange morphing things after he eats the spinach?) [Update: Link fixed to correct video clip. Sorry.]
(Note to Facebook friends: If you're reading this in FB Notes, you'll need to click View Original Post, below, to see the video.)
News Item: Because global climate change has made winters shorter and warmer, the Western Bark Beetle is surviving each year in greater numbers, decimating stands of forests across the west. Scientists predict that the lodgepole pine could be completely gone by 2080.
There are certain artists who, if you're going to cover their music, you really need them to be dead first. They own and inhabit their music to such an extent that antemortem covers are almost destined to fail.
Which is partly why Seu Jorge's performances of David Bowie tunes are so amazing.
No matter whether you love, hate, or never saw The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, it's less of an accomplishment without Jorge's music. So there.
Also: Not sure, but pretty sure that this is the second time in 6+ years I've quoted Portuguese lyrics at p3. If I track down the other one, I'll update.
Scott Lemieux reminds us of a long-standing p3 maxim: If defending free speech doesn't hurt, at least a little bit, you're probably not doing it right:
To its substantial credit, in an 8-1 ruling today the Court held that the civil suit against Fred Phelps violated the First Amendment. It’s hard to celebrate any victory for Phelps and his band of bigots, but that’s the point — you don’t need the First Amendment to defend popular speakers.
Thus is actual free speech in America distinguished from what Sarah Palin thinks it should be, which is speech that is free from ever being subjected to criticism. I'm as astonished as anyone that the same court that declared contract-based corporations to have the same free-speech rights as carbon-based citizens actually got this one right, but there's no denying they did.
(Bonus quote from Lemieux:
You’d think that ["Strip Search Sammy" Alito's lone dissent in] this case would kill of his wholly unearned reputation for moderation, but it seems as durable as Newt Gingrich’s wholly unearned reputation as an intellectual.
C&L's Gaius Publius on the Bush-era appointment of "[a]n anti-gay Republican who allegedly retaliated against the whistleblowers in his own whistleblower-protection office and got busted:"
Sometimes it seems that Republicans aren't just generally perverse, they're exactly perverse; it's that mathematical.
"A good cause is often injured more by ill-timed efforts of its friends than by the arguments of its enemies. Persuasion, perseverance, and patience are the best advocates on questions depending on the will of others." -Thomas Jefferson (1826)
William Grieder lists 
Donald Trump, on The View, 
Posts
