Sunday morning toons: Special "Hip-Pocket Monet" Edition

Let's start this week's toon review off with a quiz.

True or False:

1. It's a pure coincidence that most of those Chrysler dealers who are losing their dealerships as the company goes through Chapter 11 reorganization are Republicans.

2. Sonia Sotomayor is an "identity politics" nominee to the Supreme Court, but Clarence Thomas (nominated to "replace" Thurgood Marshall, in much the same way that SNL brought in Eddie Murphy to "replace" Garrett Morris--get it?) was not.

3. Eight years of the Bush administration refusing to talk with North Korea, which they called one-third of the "Axis of Evil," has made us safer.

4. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 put an end to the discredited doctrine of "separate but equal."

5. It's safe to put white American terrorists in maximum-security prisons on American soil, but not the current residents of Gitmo.

The answers--and more!--are in this week's edition of Daryl Cagle's round-up.

p3 Picks of the Week: Mike Luckovich, Daryl Cagle, Pat Bagley, , Mike Lane, Larry Wright, Bob Englehart, Jeff Parker, John Darkow, David Fitzsimmons, and John Trever.

p3 Legion of Honors (with clusters): Mike Luckovich.

p3 Best of Show: Monte Wolverton.

p3 World Toon Review: Derkaoui Abdellah (Morocco), Michael Kountouris (Greece), Stephane Peray (Thailand), and p3 Special Mention to Patrick Chappatte (Switzerland).


Warning! Do not attempt to view either of this week's Ann "I'm On a Roll" Telnaes Sonia Sotomayor twofer while drinking milk. You'll see. (And be sure to watch "Two Down, Three to Go" all the way to the end!)


Walt Handlesman brings to life that immortal musical moment when the flim-flam artists finally get their foot caught in the door. (Hat-tip to James the Elder.)


With great audiences comes great responsibility.Stephen Colbert had his chance to rub elbows with Spider-Man in the Marvel Universe last year. Now Seth Meyers and Bill Hader of SNL have gotten their turn.


Hip-pocket Monet. (Or is it Manet?) One of the two things I share with Danny Ocean is that I never could keep those two straight. (The other is that I look fabulous in a tux.) Anyway, that's my title for this tidbit:

It appears that The New Yorker is continuing its search for relevance to the under-40 crowd. Its last attempt generated a lot off traffic on those blog things, which we've all heard about, but may have been a net loss. Its latest attempt is a lot more interesting: the cover of the June 1st issue was created from scratch using an iPhone and a $5 app called Brushes. Here's the process:

It's fascinating to watch, although I sort of sympathize with the Gizmodo blogger, who uses the word "stunt" in a way I find hard to argue with.

At this rate, it's just a matter of time until Eustace Tilley gets the iPhone treatment.


Billionaires watching millionaires--what baseball's all about. The people pulling the strings for major-league sports in Portland--and the people who trust them--might learn a thing or two from Reuben Bolling's ongoing tribute to the Lucky Ducky.


Update: The 60-year wait is over: It's Veronica. Some fans will be disappointed, but in these dodgy economic times, who can blame Archie for going after the trust fund? (Hat-tip to Doctor Beyond.)


It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And Portland homeboy Jack Ohman warns the Governator that it absolutely will not stop, ever..


He doesn't have to be too sharp to be my razor man! Friday afternoon, standing in line behind me at the bank, a five-year-old-ish boy asked loudly, "Why do you have a beard?" His mother cringed, but I smiled enigmatically. "Because, after all these years, I'm the only one left who knows what I look like without it." He blinked at me like I was a gumball machine he'd just lost a nickel in. I dedicate this week's animation to that precocious lad: From 1936, in glorious black and white, Popeye, Bluto, and Olive star in "A Clean Shaven Man," directed by Dave Fleischer.

p3 Bonus Toon: The Oregon Legislature has had a busy spring, but Jesse Springer worries about the big beast still to be dealt with. (Click to enlarge.)



And don't forget to browse Dan Froomkin's weekday political toon review.

Saturday Tunes: Jet-propelled

From the 1987 film "Hail! Hail! Rock 'n' Roll," a documentary of the concert in St. Louis for Chuck Berry's 60th birthday, here's Linda Ronstadt and Chuck Berry performing "Back in the USA." Tuxedoed and whoa-yeahing behind them are Keith Richards and Robert Cray.

Ronstadt's on-stage style is usually a lot less flirty than this; nice to see her cut loose a little.

The unforgiving minute

As a general rule, I'm no fan of media concentration, but I confess I'm a little disappointed by this merger-that-wasn't. It would have been a dream come true for headline writers everywhere:

"Reports that Virgin Group is looking to buy Playboy Enterprises are untrue," a Virgin spokesperson said.

Minute's up.

Drinking Liberally/Portland tonight at Madison's Grill

The Portland DL chapter meets tonight at Madison's Grill, at SE 11th and Madison (map) at 7pm.

(DL/PDX meets on the 2nd and 4th Thursdays of the month.)

Join the Drinking Liberally gang tonight for drinks and political conversation. (And remember: DL encourages everyone to drink, and vote, responsibly.)

(Cross-posted at Loaded Orygun.)

Ooh! So close!

News item: This morning, former Arkansas Governor, 2012 GOP presidential hopeful, and FOX News commentator Mike Huckabee came out early and strong against the nomination of Maria Sotomayor for the US Supreme Court.

Judge Sonia Sotomayor of the Second Circuit Appeals, the person Obama actually nominated, must feel like she dodged a bullet right about now.

"It's a kind of escape for us, a chance to break away"

As the Reuters headline asks, What could possibly go wrong?

Close to 200 prisoners will cycle around France next month, watched by scores of guards on bicycles, in the first penal version of the Tour de France, authorities said Monday.

The 196 prisoners will cycle in a pack and breakaway sprints will not be allowed. They will be accompanied by 124 guards and prison sports instructors. There will be no ranking, the idea being to foster values like teamwork and effort.

"It's a kind of escape for us, a chance to break away from the daily reality of prison," said Daniel, a 48-year-old prisoner in the western city of Nantes, at the official launch of the event. His last name was not given.

"If we behave well, we might be able to get released earlier, on probation," he told reporters.

The prisoners' Tour de France will take them 2,300 km (1,400 miles) around the country, starting in the northern city of Lille on June 4 and stopping in 17 towns, each of which has a prison. However, participants will sleep in hotels.

The finish line will be in Paris, following Tour de France tradition.

Urine tests remain mandatory. No wagering. And, as always, breakaway sprints will not be allowed.

(Thanks to The Skirt.)

Reading: Paul Krugman on the (in)ability to deal with the economy responsibly

Sometimes it only takes a word or two to let you know that, if you hadn't already realized that things are going badly, you should realize it now: When you hear a thoracic surgeon say "uh-oh," for example, or when you hear a newly-licensed teen driver tell his buddies, "Watch this."

Or when you hear Paul Krugman describe himself as "rattled."

On Friday I shared my worry that Oregon, influenced by political trends that began in California some years ago and gradually crept northward, could find responding to the current economic troubles a more difficult task than it might otherwise.

Citing an observation by Charlie Pierce, I wrote:

[T]he ongoing mess that our neighbors to the south have been facing for years isn't just a side effect of knee-jerk opposition to taxes and abuse of the initiative system on the structure of government--it's that knee-jerk opposition to taxes and abuse of the initiative system have become the structure of government.

Now comes Paul Krugman to tell me that, if I've erred, it could be that I'm not worried enough:

Despite the economic slump, despite irresponsible policies that have doubled the state’s debt burden since Arnold Schwarzenegger became governor, California has immense human and financial resources. It should not be in fiscal crisis; it should not be on the verge of cutting essential public services and denying health coverage to almost a million children. But it is — and you have to wonder if California’s political paralysis foreshadows the future of the nation as a whole.

The seeds of California’s current crisis were planted more than 30 years ago, when voters overwhelmingly passed Proposition 13, a ballot measure that placed the state’s budget in a straitjacket. Property tax rates were capped, and homeowners were shielded from increases in their tax assessments even as the value of their homes rose.

The result was a tax system that is both inequitable and unstable. […]

Even more important, however, Proposition 13 made it extremely hard to raise taxes, even in emergencies: no state tax rate may be increased without a two-thirds majority in both houses of the State Legislature. And this provision has interacted disastrously with state political trends.

For California, where the Republicans began their transformation from the party of Eisenhower to the party of Reagan, is also the place where they began their next transformation, into the party of Rush Limbaugh.

The result is a state--whose economy ranks below only a handful of nations in the world--that may simply be unable to take any responsible action to head off fiscal meltdown.

But surely political dysfunction on the scale Krugman sees in California can't spread to the nation as a whole, right? At least you'd think so. But that's where Krugman confesses to getting a little rattled:

America’s projected deficits may sound large, yet it would take only a modest tax increase to cover the expected rise in interest payments — and right now American taxes are well below those in most other wealthy countries. The fiscal consequences of the current crisis, in other words, should be manageable.

But that presumes that we’ll be able, as a political matter, to act responsibly. The example of California shows that this is by no means guaranteed. And the political problems that have plagued California for years are now increasingly apparent at a national level.

To be blunt: recent events suggest that the Republican Party has been driven mad by lack of power. […]

And that party still has 40 senators.

Fortunately for Oregon--at the moment--Democrats have a supermajority in both chambers. Not that Democrats are perfect. But if nothing else they're an effective brake on a minority party who, if they haven't yet begun barking at the moon like their colleagues at the national level, don't seem to be re-thinking any of their dysfunctional assumptions, either.

Krugman's article is going in the Readings list on the sidebar.

Murder Ink

I always assumed it was just geezery "get off my lawn!" attitude on my part, but this trend always did strike me as short-sighted:

When the Dow is low, the "tramp stamp" has to go.

Dermatologists across the city are reporting a boom in tattoo laser removals, as body-art fanatics fretting over their professional image rush to erase their inky mistakes.

"People can't afford to handicap themselves be cause of a tattoo in a tight job market," said Dr. Jeffrey Rand, founder of the Tattoo Removal Center in Midtown. "We're seeing a huge surge right now in people getting rid of their tattoos."

And when human skin is your artistic medium of choice, pentimento isn't cheap. Or painless.

Erasing a tattoo requires monthly laser blasts, which break up the pigment dye under the skin.

Each painful zap takes about two minutes and costs at least $200 -- and a small tattoo the size of a human chin requires a year of treatments to burn off.

("The size of a human chin?" No one has a tattoo on their chin; what made the reporter think that was a useful comparison? I realize the standard unit of comparison--"1/1,800th of a football field"--wouldn't be very helpful here either, but still . . . . )

My favorite moment of clarity from one of the interviewees for the article:

Mobeen Yasin, a graduate student at Mercy College, said the script tattoo of his first name creeping around his neck is a liability.

"I can cover it with a collared shirt, but if I turn my head it sticks out," said Yasin, a 22-year-old planning a career in finance or law enforcement. "I used to idolize rappers with tattoos. Now I don't want it to hold me back from getting a job."

My friends all warned me it was a mistake when I got my tats--a heart with a dagger through it and a scroll underneath saying "Publish Or Perish" on my right bicep, and a flaming skull with the words "Write To Live/Live To Write" on my left.

But I wouldn't listen.

The unforgiving minute

This just in:

Florida governor Charlie Crist doesn’t want to be shot in the face.

Minute's up.

Sunday morning toons: Special "Every Day is Memorial Day" Edition

It runs the gamut this week at Daryl Cagle's round-up, from Memorial Day to credit cards, to the green economy, to Obama and the Democrats, to the Freddy Krueger-like refusal of the former Vice President to simply go away.

"Every day is Memorial Day." While Oregon enjoys a week of beautiful weather, here's a reminder of why this holiday wasn't created to sell mattresses, courtesy of: David Fitzsimmons, Jeff Parker, R. J. Matson, J. D. Crowe, Mike Keefe, and Steve Benson.

p3 Picks of the Week: Mike Luckovich, R. J. Matson, Mike Lane, Mike Keefe, John Trever, Jerry Holbert, Harry Payne, Adam Zyglis, John Cole, Matt Davies, and Dick Locher.

Funny how there's never an undisclosed location around when we really need one. It's a match made in heaven: The most unpopular man in the country is making his bid to become elder statesman of the most unpopular party in the country. Now Dick Locher, John Darkow, Nate Beeler, Mike Keefe, and Pat Bagley all ask the question: We've seen more of Dick Cheney in the last 8 weeks than in the last 8 years, so how can we make him go back into hiding?


p3 World Toon Review: Pavel Constantine (Romania), Olle Johansson (Sweden), Christo Komarnitski (Bulgaria), Igor Kodenko (Ukraine), and Frederick Deligne (France).


Ann Telnaes notes the irony of one holiday-weekend tradition.


Before the "Bailey or Jennifer?" decision, even before the "Ginger or Mary Ann?" dilemma, there was "Betty or Veronica?"

Look for this story arc to end in a year or so with a Very Special Episode, in which Archie discovers it was all a dream. (Hat tip to Comics Worth Reading.)


Portland homeboy Jack Ohman reviews the status of the "two-state solution."


Send more cats! Boxes and boxes of fireworks sitting opened in the cellar? Of course--why not? From 1943, the first of 7 Oscar-winning Tom and Jerry theatrical shorts. The references behind Jerry's two War Communiqués can be found here and here. (Subtitles provided courtesy of the Hong Kong Fireworks Company.)

p3 Bonus Toon: Oregon's unemployment rate--second-worst in the nation--leveled off last month. Does that mean the worst is over? Jesse Springer reminds us that, just because you can feel something with your toes, it doesn't mean you've hit bottom. (Click to enlarge.)



And don't forget to browse Dan Froomkin's weekday political toon review.

Saturday tunes: "When the night is come, and the land is dark"

From the amazing documentary Playing for Change: Peace Through Music comes this standard by Ben E. King.

Try listening without singing along. I dare you.

From Wikipedia:

[...] King had no intention of recording the song himself when he wrote it. King had written the song for The Drifters, who passed on the chance to record it. It was not until after the Spanish Harlem recording session that he had some studio time left over. The session's producers, Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, asked if he had any more songs and King played "Stand by Me" on the piano for them. They liked it and called all the studio musicians back in to record it. If King hadn't finished recording his other songs early, "Stand by Me" may never have been recorded.

Thanks to Misty.

Reading: Pierce on "Rule by the essential political dynamic of drivetime talk-radio"

One of the things that I worry about on behalf of Oregon is that, too often, when California gets a dumb idea, it's only about 5 or 10 years before someone thinks we should try it here. (The day that they gave a booby-prize governorship to Der Arnold gave me chills, although--to be fair--the last time they elected a movie star as governor Oregon managed to resist any latent urges to do the same, so perhaps we'll dodge that bullet a second time.)

But Charlie Pierce notes that the ongoing mess that our neighbors to the south have been facing for years isn't just a side effect of knee-jerk opposition to taxes and abuse of the initiative system on the structure of government--it's that knee-jerk opposition to taxes and abuse of the initiative system have become the structure of government:

Back when I was a young reporter for an alternative weekly, Massachusetts passed a referendum by which property taxes in a specific municipality could not exceed 2.5 percent of the assessed value of the property therein. Prop 2 1/2, as it was called, and is still called today, was the east coast franchisee of the California "tax revolt" that began there with Proposition 13 in 1978. The basic attitude behind Prop 2 1/2 was summed up best for me by one of its authors who, when asked what would happen when the law forced local libraries to close, replied that it didn't matter because paperback books never had been cheaper. Well, we're nuts here but not that nuts. We stopped with this little bit of initiative distemper. California, it seems, has rendered itself utterly ungovernable by taking every ounce of the philosophy behind the campaign for Proposition 13--government by initiative, anti-tax phobia etc. etc.--and turning it into the very structure of government itself. It threw out Gray Davis and installed a comical buffoon in his place who seems to be unstrung by the actual job of being a governor. And, now, the voters of California have gathered themselves together again and produced something best described by an observer of Andrew Johnson's impeachment--"a towering act of abandoned wrath." I thought about the libraries when this happened this week and came to the realization that the basic philosophy behind this is that there is simply no such thing as a political commonwealth, that we, as a people, own nothing in common, nothing for which we have to be responsible to our fellow citizens, rich or poor, but especially the latter. This is what libraries were--common spaces, where people could gather and read--and surf the 'net, too--and places that we could be confident belonged to us all. They were examples of a lost idea in American life. California has determined, in a hundred different ways, that it will be ruled by the essential political dynamic of the drivetime talk-radio program. This is in no way a good thing.

We'll probably never have a movie-star governor in Oregon--we're just a little too Gore-Tex and sensible-shoes for that--but Pierce's description sounds uncomfortably close to what we've been trending toward in Oregon for years: Professional initiative-filers and their out-of-state sugar-daddies larding up the statewide ballots with initiatives inspired by the conservatives' Closet of Anxieties. No one wins that arms race except the broadcasters who sell them air time for their ads.

So I'm watching with bated breath as the Democrats in Salem work to clean up the initiative system. It's a difficult balancing act, since reform will have to avoid throwing out the baby of First Amendment rights and genuine grass-roots participation in government with the bathwater of Sizemore-style fraud and racketeering.

Dispatches: Franken's birthday, Cheney's ride, Byrne's tunes, and more

Items from the p3 inbox:

• Today is Al Franken's birthday, and his daughter is asking supporters to send him a special birthday gift: a donation to his recount effort. (Al Franken for Senate)


• The DNC (still going by that name, apparently) is raising $202 to buy a one-way bus ticket from Washington DC back to Jackson WY for Dick Cheney. (Democratic National Committee)


• David Byrne has made some songs of his new album with Brian Eno available for purchase online, with benefits going to Amnesty International. (Amnesty International)


• RSVP to attend Howard Dean's appearance in Portland on June 5th to push for health care reform. (Democracy for America)


• You can sign a petition supporting Obama's health care plan--and include comments (such as "don't cave on the public plan option"). (Organizing for America)

The unforgiving minute

Over my long and checkered career, I've occasionally worked with people I didn't like, and not infrequently with people I disagreed with, and in one or maybe two cases with people who I simply didn’t think were fit for the job.

But at least I've had the good fortune never to have to watch in dismay and disgust as my employer spent from its ever-dwindling fund of money and respect to hire someone (into a job uncomfortably similar to my own) whose only credential was that they were the living embodiment of everything that my employer should be opposing with its last ounce of strength.

My condolences to Will Bunch.

Minute's up.

WSJ to PDX: Young and hip isn't everything

Apparently aiming to restore some journalistic balance after the NYTimes' several recent love letters to Portland, the Wall Street Journal checks in with their own Stumptown reportage today.

Shorter WSJ: Sure, you're all young and cool and educated out in Portland, but we've got jobs and you don't! Bwaa-ha-ha-ha!

Hat tip to Nick, who sent me the article with this comment:

Mention of "hipsters:" Check.
Pictures of coffee: Check.
Gushing adoration: Hold the phone!

If only conservatives were more like Jack Bauer. (Seriously.)

I know that's an odd claim, given how much they already idolize the fictional hero of "24," but I'm convinced they need to take their devotion one step further.

First, some background:

Tonight wraps up Season 7 (or, in the vernacular of the series, "Day 7") of "24." At the end of the previous season, almost two years ago, I predicted that I wouldn't bother watching it again. Even if they brought back femme fatale Nina Myers--who, I remind you, could kill you with half a credit card if she felt like it!--it just seemed the series had run its course and was getting by on recycled hooks from earlier seasons.

But I got drawn into watching this season anyway--not because it was the novel knuckle-biter that Season/Day 1 was, so many years/days ago, but because it looked like they were trying something interesting: This season, Jack's penchant for torturing suspects and sources at the drop of a hat became foregrounded as the theme, not simply backgrounded as a plot device.

The season begins with Jack hauled back from self-imposed exile in Africa to testify before a Senate committee investigating the rogue tactics of the now-disbanded Counter Terrorism Unit where he once worked. Jack has only begun to testify (in his trademark snarl), parading his undisguised contempt for the chair of the committee and the lily-livered hypocrisy he represents to Jack, when he's whisked from the hearing room by FBI agents. They need him because--say it with me--he's the only person who can help them avert a ticking bomb-style threat to the nation. In the process he's paired up with an FBI agent who regards him and his tactics with disdain. She tells him in no uncertain terms that she won't tolerate his ultraviolent methods while they're working together. And, with that, the story is off and running.

The moment soon comes--more than one, in fact; this is "24" after all--when they need information from a terrorist collaborator, they have no time to spare, and the FBI agent's fastidiousness about Jack's methods begins to totter. Bauer doesn't pass up any opportunity to rub her nose in her new-found ambivalence.

That tension continues explicitly throughout the season. In particular, though, I want to focus on that bit of Senate testimony by Bauer, in which the theme is first spelled out.

That episode aired on January 11, 2009. In what most of us still call "the real world," to distinguish it from things like "24," president-elect Obama was scheduled to take the oath of office nine days later. In 2008, candidate Obama had promised that he would close GITMO and end state-sponsored torture. Right-wing commentators across America went ballistic. Their most feverish fears about Obama as the dupe--if not the agent--of powers determined to destroy our nation seemed confirmed.

(And of course, four months later there's now a growing amount of evidence that torture, carried out at Dick Cheney's behest, was used for political purposes, to elicit evidence linking Iraq and al Qaeda, whether that link was real or not. That makes the subject that much more raw for members of the Bush administration and their supporters.)

During the Senate hearing scenes on "24," Bauer is questioned by committee chair Senator Blaine Mayer (played by the wonderful Kirkwood Smith, who has made a nice career out of portraying genuinely unlikeable characters, and incidentally leaving only Miguel Ferrer and Nancy Allen as the major cast members of "Robocop" who haven't yet had a significant role on "24") . Sen. Mayer names a terrorist suspect, and asks Bauer: Did you torture him?

Under the language of the Geneva Convention, concedes Bauer, he did. He adds that, by doing so, he stopped an attack and saved the lives of 45 innocent bus passengers, including ten children.

"Even if it means breaking the law?" asks Mayer, shaking his head in disgust.

Bauer's reply to the senator quickly became so beloved by fans on the right, I'm surprised they aren't merchandising it as a framed piece of needlepoint:

For a combat soldier the difference between success and failure is your ability to adapt to your enemy. The people that I deal with, they don't care about your rules. All they care about is a result. My job is to stop them from accomplishing their objectives. I simply adapt it. In answer to your question, am I above the law? No, sir. I am more than willing to be judged by the people you claim to represent. I will let them decide what price I should pay. Now please do not sit there with that smug look on your face and expect me to regret the decisions that I have made because, sir, the truth is I don't.

The right-wingers, for whom Jack Bauer's earnest sadism is the mark of a true patriot, a clear-eyed enemy of terrorists, and a man's man, absolutely loved this bit of authoritarian porn. Google the search phrase "jack bauer senate" and you'll get back page after page of bloggers, columnists, and commenters whose only objection was that Bauer didn't show sufficient contempt for the likes of pusillanimous Senator Mayer, who places our country at risk by even questioning Bauer's methods.

Watch FOX's Brian Kilmeade, Steve Doocy, Gretchen Carlson, and Glenn Beck discussing the scene and you'll feel like you're seeing four bouncers from a third-rate bar drooling over "Road House:"

Yes, Jack's the darling of right-wing torture enthusiasts--and not just in the media; as Slate's Dahlia Lithwick noted, he had a devoted following at the top levels of Bush administration:

This fictional counterterrorism agent—a man never at a loss for something to do with an electrode—has his fingerprints all over U.S. interrogation policy. As [authors Phillipe] Sands and [Jane] Mayer tell it, the lawyers designing interrogation techniques cited Bauer more frequently than the Constitution.

According to British lawyer and writer Philippe Sands, Jack Bauer--played by Kiefer Sutherland--was an inspiration at early "brainstorming meetings" of military officials at Guantanamo in September of 2002. Diane Beaver, the staff judge advocate general who gave legal approval to 18 controversial new interrogation techniques including water-boarding, sexual humiliation, and terrorizing prisoners with dogs, told Sands that Bauer "gave people lots of ideas." Michael Chertoff, the homeland-security chief, once gushed in a panel discussion on 24 organized by the Heritage Foundation that the show "reflects real life."

John Yoo, the former Justice Department lawyer who produced the so-called torture memos—simultaneously redefining both the laws of torture and logic—cites Bauer in his book War by Other Means. "What if, as the popular Fox television program '24' recently portrayed, a high-level terrorist leader is caught who knows the location of a nuclear weapon?" Even Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, speaking in Canada last summer, shows a gift for this casual toggling between television and the Constitution. "Jack Bauer saved Los Angeles. … He saved hundreds of thousands of lives," Scalia said. "Are you going to convict Jack Bauer?"

And yet . . . and yet . . . and yet. For all their admiration of Jack and their high-minded desire to emulate his principles and methods, there's still one part of his speech that the conservatives keep missing, one niggling little detail they always seem to overlook when they celebrate their hero. Did you see it?

It's this:

In answer to your question, am I above the law? No, sir. I am more than willing to be judged by the people you claim to represent. I will let them decide what price I should pay.

Yes, Bauer refused to apologize for his actions. But assuming his reference to being "judged by the people" doesn't refer to some sort of "American Idol"-style popularity contest (a Fox network tie-in? Ryan Seacrest telling viewers "Text 55551 to vote for torture"?), it sounds to me like Bauer was also prepared to surrender himself and stand trial before a jury of his peers. (Perhaps he would even have waived his right to counsel at trial, as he did during his Senate testimony, and simply pleaded guilty. After all, he assured Sen. Mayer that he didn't regret his actions.)

Name one proud conservative defender of the Republic who's willing to do that over the issue of torture.

Name a single one of the real-life theorists and practitioners of the Bush administration's torture policies, or their cheerleaders in the right-wing media, who is so certain of the righteousness of their means and ends that they'd be willing to risk spending even an hour behind bars for it.

Seriously. Just one.

You can't.

Lovers of patriotic torture-porn all want to play the tough guy who tramples the Constitution, but only if they know they'll let off the hook for it. Nobody wants to be a stand-up guy like Bauer. Not one of them believes that the value of information gained through torture could ever be worth the risk of jail time for themselves--not even if it was the only way to find that ticking nuclear bomb they obsess over. Not even if it was the only way to save that busload of innocent children. Not even if it was the only way to save America from a threat to its very existence.

I find that odd.

Unlike torture, which has little practical use except in coercing false confessions, there's plenty of evidence that going to prison for a just cause can bring about great change:

Gandhi happily went to prison to demonstrate the unjustness of British rule in India. In the end, he transformed the political landscape of southern Asia.

Martin Luther King willingly did time in the Birmingham jail to demonstrate the unjustness of Jim Crow laws. In the end, he transformed the political landscape of America.

If--to pick a name at random--John Yoo believes that the legal framework that stops them from openly practicing torture unjustly stands in the way of America's ability to protect itself from the threat of global terror, why be coy? Why torture in secret? Why spirit prisoners away to undisclosed locations to be subjected to their extreme interrogation methods? Why mislead Congress about it?

Why not challenge the law in the time-tested manner, by going public and announcing, like Jack Bauer, Yes, I authorized torture--and if my going to prison as a result is what it takes to make my country's legal system recognize that torture is an unfortunate but necessary tool in our nation's defense, then I'll do my time proudly.

I mean, hell--last month opponents of torture were willing to face jail time for their convictions:

61 Americans, dressed in the orange jumpsuits and black hoods that have become the symbol of Guantanamo detainees, were arrested in front of the White House in a nonviolent demonstration this afternoon.

The demonstrators each had the name of a detainee stenciled on the back of the jumpsuit. 55 of the detainees represented were cleared for release by the Bush administration but not released; an additional 5 died at the prison.

This event capped the 100 Days Campaign to Close Guantanamo and End Torture, which pressured President Obama to close the prison and end America's policies of torture and indefinite detention within his first 100 days in office.

So--and again, I'm just pulling a name out of a hat here--why isn't a pro-torture guy like Dick Cheney willing to make the same sacrifice to demonstrate his moral seriousness? Is it because the former Vice President has "other plans" again, as he did when it came to military service in Vietnam?

I think the "24" worshipers who authorized and practiced real, live torture themselves shouldn't limit themselves to half measures, like torturing in secret while prevaricating in public. I urge them: Do the Full Jack:

Call a press conference in front of the local courthouse. Proudly admit your role in designing or carrying out the Bush administration's torture policies. Apologize for nothing. Explain that you are willing to face trial and imprisonment to call attention to the injustice of the laws and treaties making such actions illegal, even though those actions were necessary to defend the safety of our nation.

And then surrender yourselves to the DA.

It's what Jack Bauer would do.

Sunday morning toons: Special "Evil One Whose Name We Do Not Speak" Edition

Daryl Cagle's round-up features pomp and circumstance, the return of Kirk and Spock, several artists who get the story exactly 50% right--plus, the return of the evil one whose name we do not speak.

p3 Picks of the Week: Mike Luckovich, , Mike Keefe, Eric Allie, Steve Sack, and John Cole.

A p3 Thanks for An Image We'll Never, Ever Be Able to Forget goes to David Horsey. Seriously, dude--thanks so much for this one.

The p3 Award for Best Adaptation from Another Medium goes to R. J. Matson and Pat Bagley.

I saw the trailer for "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" yesterday. I enjoyed it; my friend was beside herself with anticipation. While America's children wait for the possible return of Him Whose Name We Do Not Speak, the aptly-named John Darkow provides us with another story of children and things that go bump in the night.

Mike Lane, Joe Heller, and Nate Beeler receive the dreaded p3 Headshake of Disappointment for getting the story half-right and half-wrong. One more time, guys: As long as we don't embark on a goofy "privitization" scheme, and even if we drag our feet for a few more years, Social Security is going to be fine for another generation. It's Medicare that's in danger of crashing soon, and that's because medical costs are going up about 10-15% per year. Larry Wright has it right--unfortunately.

p3 Notice of Harmonic Toon Convergence has been certified and filed with the proper authorities for Jeff Parker, David Fitzsimmons,

And the extremely rare p3 Special Award for Double Harmonic Toon Convergence goes to Jimmy Margulies for this three-rail bank shot.

p3 World Toon Review: Patrick Chapatte (Switzerland), Cam Cardow (Canada), Stephane Peray (Thailand), and Peter Bromhead (New Zealand).


Cover your faces! Ann Telnaes has seen the return of the dark one! Is this how Harry Potter got his trademark scar?


p3 Guest Toon: Reuben Bollings shares "Torture Tomfoolery" (previously known as "Enhanced Interrogation Techniques Chuckles").


Portland homeboy Jack Ohman welcomes our newest Democratic Senator.


"'One custard pie'? Lemme have it!" When it came to inventive wit in matching music to action, or in stealing musical puns, Scott Bradley, musical director of MGM cartoons during their golden age, never quite matched Warner Bros.' Carl Stalling, but this is one of his better efforts. You'll enjoy the musical imitation of the various bits of toony violence, and the three-note theme from the opening titles that returns through the early part of the cartoon--"dah DAH dum," mimicking the title, "Quiet, Please!" From 1945. here's the third of seven Tom & Jerry cartoons to win an Academy Award (matching Disney's record):

p3 Bonus Toon: Short on details, long on promises that taxes can be cut without cutting services--sound familiar? Jesse Springer thinks so.



And don't forget to browse Dan Froomkin's weekday political toon review.

Saturday tunes: "Well, I'm dressed up so nice, An' I'm doin' my best"

Happy birthday this week to David Byrne, front man for the Talking Heads and all-around weird genius. He's one year older than I am, which I suppose means I should get cracking, shouldn't I?

Here he is in 2002, lookin' for someone who knows the difference between right and wrong, singing "What a Day That Was:"

Whoa. Somebody's pissed.

Digby:

It's pretty clear that all this partisan bickering means the "he said/she said" can't be solved by a truth commission or even a DOJ investigation. After all, they weren't allowed to take notes, and the CIA's records when it comes to torture can't be considered dispositive since they are just a teeny bit implicated themselves. It's a pickle.

But since they are considered by so many people to be reliable and useful, perhaps [we] ought to consider [...]

Read on.

The unforgiving minute

Spencer Ackerman has it exactly right:

More evidence needs to be introduced before concluding that the CIA lied to Pelosi. But no additional evidence needs to be introduced to conclude that it wouldn't.

Minute's up.

Drinking Liberally/Portland tonight at Madison's Grill

The Portland DL chapter meets tonight at Madison's Grill, at SE 11th and Madison (map) at 7pm.

(DL/PDX meets on the 2nd and 4th Thursdays of the month.)

Join the Drinking Liberally gang tonight for drinks and political conversation. (And remember: DL encourages everyone to drink, and vote, responsibly.)

(Cross-posted at Loaded Orygun.)

Spam 2.0 remains a growth industry

Six weeks ago I noted predictions by internet experts that spam, after a brief decline last winter, was returning in greater numbers and with greater technological sophistication. That morning, my email spam filter had about 1100 messages trapped in it.

This afternoon, it has over 2800.

Those are just from the last 30 days, since anything older than that is automatically deleted. So we're talking about roughly 100 pieces of unsolicited commercial email--some malicious, some merely avaricious--every day.

And, as I said before, I'm probably getting off easy compared to many email users.

Back when the amount of spam was still low enough that it was a doable task, I used to spot-check the spam filter for false positives from time to time. Never found any. Partly for that reason, but mostly because the numbers now would make it a full time job, I haven't checked it in months. And maybe one or two pieces per month manage to slip through into my inbox.

By one estimate, 94% of all email traffic is spam. I can't imagine the cost, to service providers and system users. It must be almost incalculable. Imagine if even a noticeable fraction of that wasted system capacity were available again.

I do believe one thing: This is not the answer. Even if a tax on spam could somehow be made technologically feasible (which seems unlikely, since many or most spammers operate through a far-flung army "zombie" computers that have captured with malware), the last thing we should do is let the idea of taxing email get its foot in the door. Sure, they're only coming for spammers today, but tomorrow . . .

Mondegreens, "Louie Louie," and the Thom Hartmann show

(For reasons that, with luck, will shortly become clear, the original title for this post was "El Ka-bong, What's That Flower You Have On?")

As many of you know, I've been writing Spanning the State, a round-up of news items ranging from under-the-radar to over-the-top, at Loaded Orygun every Sunday since late 2007.

The top StS story yesterday concerns US House hearings on legislation that would guarantee that not only record labels and songwriters can collect royalties every time their song is played on the radio, but performers too.

The back story has a Portland connection:

The heirs of Richard Berry, who wrote "Louis Louis," still collect about half a million bucks in royalties every year. But Jack Ely, who fronted for the Portland band The Kingsmen and whose famous vocals are the ones that you inevitably hear in your head when you think of that song--he got $5000 bucks about 50 years ago, and not a penny since.

And you probably know this: Partly because of Ely's vocal stylings, and partly because the lyrics imitate a Jamaican dialect, "Louie Louie" was famous for its supposedly obscene lyrics. (The FBI even opened a file on it.) It's actually just a simple song about a sailor waiting to get home to his sweetheart, but it's the gold standard for popularly misunderstood song lyrics.

Now, I told you that story so I can tell you this one:

Every Monday morning during the second half of the 7am-8am segment of the Thom Hartmann show on KPOJ, Loaded Orygun head poobah TJ is in the studio to chat about Oregon politics with local hosts Carl and Christine, and Paul the producer. It's become a tradition that TJ winds up his weekly visit with a Spanning the State Challenge--a news quiz drawn (sometimes pretty loosely) from items in that week's StS post. Since I write the original posts anyway, I get the fun of prepping the Challenge questions for TJ--although, I hasten to add, what happens when he gets into the studio with them, and Carl, Christine, and Paul, is strictly between them and the gods of live broadcasting.

This morning, as a tribute to Jack Ely, The Kingsmen, and "Louie Louie," the StS Challenge on KPOJ was called "Wait--That's Not How The Song Goes, Is It?

(By the way, there is at least one respectable study out there on the neuroscience of why we get song lyrics wrong. [This is my second post today about neuroscience--what the hell's that all about?]

But I think the literary/anthropological approach is more interesting. There's even a serious, scholarly term for such misunderstandings, not only of song lyrics but of other forms of lyric and prose: mondegreens. The term has its own etymological history that's not too far from "wrapped up like a douche," although by comparison it's one you wouldn't have to worry about explaining to the parson when he comes by for Sunday dinner.

But I digress.)

Here's the challenge: Match the misunderstood lyrics, below, to the famous songs and performers they go with. That's the easy part. The hard part is: Provide the correct lyrics.

We'll start with some easy ones, and then start raising the bar:

Wrong lyric: "'Scuse me while I kiss this guy"
Song: ?
Right lyric: ?

Wrong lyric: "Hold me closer, Tony Danza" (Bonus: "Count the head lice on the highway.)
Song: ?
Right lyric: ?

Wrong lyric: "Wrapped up like a douche, another roller in the night"
Song: ?
Right lyric: ?

Wrong lyric: "There's a bathroom on the right"
Song: ?
Right lyric: ?

Wrong lyric: "Since she left me down there been owls pukin' in my bed."
Song: ?
Right lyric: ?

Wrong lyric: "The ants are my friends"
Song: ?
Right lyric: ?

Wrong lyric: "No ducks or hazards in the classroom"
Song: ?
Right lyric: ?

Wrong lyric: "The algebra has a devil for a sidekick, eeeeeeeeee!"
Song: ?
Right lyric: ?

(To hear the answers--or to match wits with Carl, Christine, Paul, and TJ--listen to the podcast of the first hour of this morning's Thom Hartmann show on KPOJ.)

Penn & Teller explain the 7 basic principles of magic

They are: Palm, Ditch, Steal, Load, Simulation, Misdirection, and Switch.

And the essence of P&T magic is that, even when you know that, it won't help you.

This clip accompanies a Wired article about the connection between magic (both sleight-of-hand and stage) and the neurology and psychology of perception.

The article is fascinating on its own merits. The significance of the photo at the top of the page--hint: it isn't a double-exposure--will become apparent if you read far enough.

Hat tip to James the Elder.

Sunday morning toons: Special "Not Used to Saying the Word 'Day' after 'Mother'" Edition

"This is a tough holiday for Rahm. He's not used to saying the word 'day' after 'mother.'"

President Obama, doing stand-up
at the White House Correspondents
Association dinner last night

Daryl Cagle's round-up covers the gamut this week, from "Stress Tests" to "Star Trek," and from "Cram-Down" to "Pakistan"--with a dash of "Mom" thrown in for good measure.

p3 Picks of the Week: Mike Luckovich, Ron Matson, Mike Lane, Jeff Parker, David Firzsimmons, Eric Allie, Steve Sack, and Jeff Stahler.

The p3 Award for Best Adaptation from Another Medium goes to John Darkow and Scott Stantis.

Remember this one? Jimmy Margulies, Adam Zyglis, Gary Brookins, and Pat Bagley check in from the front lines of the "good war" we fought in 2002--then promptly pulled out of to go invade a country that hadn't attacked us.

p3 proudly dedicates these toons to all you mothers out there: John Cole, David Fitzsimmons, Nik Scott, Bob Englehart, Bill Day, and Vic Harville.


This week, the p3 World Toon Review salutes Cam Cardow (Canada), Arcadio Esquivel (Costa Rica), Oguz Gurel (Turkey), and Jens Hage (Denmark).


Ann Telnaes asks: Is someone already throwing her hat in to the ring for Mother of the Year, 2012?


p3 Guest Toon: (Extra points to p3 readers who can find the Bill Murray common link in all this.) It's hard to imagine Garfield getting interesting (except for the time he apparently died, and the hacked strips from which all appearances of Garfield had been removed; in each case, the only failing was not following through with a good premise). But here's a big ol' p3 hat tip to The Comics Curmudgeon, for drawing my attention to Garfield: Lost in Translation, a blog featuring actual Garfield strips for which the dialogue has been translated from English into Japanese, then back into English again. It reveals a Zen level of Garfield I simply never knew was there: "Perhaps I amount to rain . . . Only if the sun comes out, certainly." There's cosmic wisdom there, folks.


Portland homeboy Jack Ohman looks at some good, old-fashioned horse-trading on his next Supreme Court nominee.


"Well, what--I say, what do you know? I'm a mother!" You know the drill: The dog puts an ostrich egg under Foghorn Leghorn while he's sleeping and--as they say in TV Guide--wacky complications ensue. From 1962, "Mother was a Rooster," directed by Robert McKimson, voices by Mel Blanc:

p3 Bonus Toon: I think it would be fair to say that Jesse Springer is as proud of Oregon dirt as the next fellow. And if the dirt on Jory Hill is the most representative of soil in the state--whatever that means--I don't think he's going to protest. He just wonders what this says about the priorities in the House. (Click to enlarge.)



And don't forget to browse Dan Froomkin's weekday political toon review.

Live long and become worn down over the decades into a putty-like residue of inevitible, even obligatory disappointment

In fairness, though, this would probably be a whole less funny if it weren't so well-deserved. I'm not a big J.J. Abrams fan, but it can't hurt to put the franchise in new hands. Good luck to the new movie:

Saturday tunes: "You're sittin' down and wonderin' what it's all about."

We're starting Toon Sunday a little early this week.

Everyone who's seen the toon noir "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" has their own list of favorites from its endless supply of memorable bits. (One of mine: "You mean you could've taken your hand out of that cuff at any time??" "No, not at any time--only when it was funny.")

But for a lot of people, the unforgettable moment was when P.I. Eddie Valiant meets Roger's wife, femme fatale Jessica Rabbit. Expecting her to be as goofy and--well, cartoonish--as her husband, Eddie isn't prepared for Jessica, the chanteuse at the Pen and Ink Club (a speakeasy where humans and toons can mix socially) as she performs the steamy Peggy Lee standard "Why Don't You Do Right?".

For dialogue, Jessica was voiced by the ultra-sultry Kathleen Turner, although the vocals on this song were recorded by Amy Irving, then-wife of executive producer Steven Speilberg.

Verb watch: The film was adapted from the novel "Who Censored Roger Rabbit?" And the Italian release of the film was titled, more menacingly, "Chi ha Incastrato Roger Rabbit?" Yipe.

The unforgiving minute

The story of Miss California, first pissing off the left for going off against gays, then filling them with smug delight after--inevitably, it seems--her nude pictures started surfacing, hasn't really struck me as that interesting.

Perhaps beauty pageant contestants simply feel like too easy a target.

Or perhaps it's because Miss CA could easily have the last laugh: After all, the publicity generated when someone noticed that Vanessa Williams had done a Penthouse layout, costing her the Miss America crown, launched her into a steady and respectable TV/film/recording career for the next quarter century.

Could this have been Miss CA's plan all along?

Minute's up.

Someone at the DCCC has a fun job

They've launched the Bachman Watch web site, tracking and correcting the endless string of easily disproved claims by the wacky Republican representative from Minnesota.

Note that the site limits itself to correcting Bachman when she gets her facts and figures wrong (e.g., her assertion that swine flu only breaks out under Democratic presidents). It does not take on the Herculean task of rebutting every preposterous opinion she offers (e.g., her belief that Congress itself should be investigated for anti-Americanism).

Still, whoever is responsible at the DCCC for keeping fresh content on Bachman Watch has job security that the rest of us can only dream about.

Let the clock start: How long until Bachman herself, or the House Republican leadership on her behalf, begins complaining that correcting her numerous public errors of fact is "uncivil," and perhaps even an attempt to deprive Bachman of her First Amendment rights?

(H/t to Doctor TV.)

Conservative lexicon update

From the p3 Lame Excuse for Political Euphemism Watch [LE PEW] desk comes this latest item:

Context: n. momentary political expedience. Used to refer to the difference between a point in time when something was both true and politically useful to say, versus the present point in time when it's still true but no longer politically advantageous to acknowledge.

For example: Bristol Palin, whose credentials on the subject need not be rehearsed here, appearing on "Good Morning America" this week to announce her new self-assumed role as abstinence spokesperson:

Of course, Palin made headlines in February when she declared that abstinence is "not realistic at all." Now she says the quote was "taken out of context. ... I do think it's realistic. It's the harder choice, but it's the safest choice."

This gambit always amuses and irritates me. She sounded pretty definite, after all: What possible context could cause "not realistic at all" to mean anything other than "not realistic at all"? Specifically, in what context does "not realistic at all" actually mean "I do think it's realistic"?

Perhaps "taken out of context" means "unfairly required to mean the same thing twice in a row."

Or does young Bristol (and her political elders) live in a world where the meaning of words flip-flops--going from true to false and back--simply depending on exactly when she uttered them?

It sounds like a lost Python sketch:

Host: "Good evening. I'm talking with Leonard Pilch-Stripling. Mr Pilch-Stripling, is it true that every other group of four words you say will mean the exact opposite of what they ordinarily mean?"

Leonard: "Yes, Roger, that's true."

Host: "But unless people have been counting your words, how will they know when you're not saying what you really mean?"

Leonard: "I never said that."

Host: "But you did! Just a moment ago!"

Leonard: "Yes, it's a problem."

Host: Ah. I think I see. Mr Pilch-Stripling, you've just spoken twelve words. Does that mean your next four words will be true, or false?"

Leonard: "Depends upon the context."

(H/t to Doctor TV.)

39 years later

As we watch the insufficiently loathed Condi Rice parroting Nixon's original defense of the Imperial Presidency this week, it's good to have a reminder of what went on during The Tricky One's tenure.

There are plenty of video clips from live CSNY performances of "Ohio" scattered around the internet, and it would be nice to have had footage of them looking young and healthy. But an ugly truth from the Woodstock era is that CSNY sound much better in the studio than live, so I traded off the video for one of their best live vocal performances.

The unforgiving minute

No one could possibly have predicted that Arlen Specter, having fled to the Democratic party after four decades as a camera-hungry Republican simply to protect his 2010 re-election chances, would be shrugging off the claims of loyalty to his new party by the first weekend's round of talking-head shows.

Minute's up.

Sunday morning toons: Special "Coping with Disaster" Edition

It was a busy week for the political tooniverse: Specter jumped ship and swine flu jumped the border. Obama finally saw the end of his first 100 days in office, and Bush torture memos finally saw the light of day. And, luckily for us, Daryl Cagle's round-up has it all!

p3 Picks of the Week: Mike Luckovich, John Sherffius, R. J. Matson, Bob Englehart, John Trever, Jerry Holbert, Jeff Stahler, Pat Bagley, and Rob Rogers.

The p3 Harmonic Toon Convergence Citation goes to Jack Ohman, Gary Varvel, Walt Handlesman, and Adam Zyglis.

p3 Best of Show: David Horsey.

The p3 Certificate for Best Homage to Bill Mauldin goes to Dana Summers.

The p3 Citation for Best New Use of the "Empty Chair" Meme is awarded to Steve Sack.

The p3 Award for Best Adaptation from Another Medium is shared by Nate Beeler, J. D. Crowe, R. J. Matson, and Gary Brookins.

The p3 "It's Not Just Elephants Who Never Forget" Award goes to Daryl Cagle.

p3 World Toon Review: Oddly enough, toonists in other countries weren't so interested in Specter or the First 100 Days. Even the Bush torture memos haven't gotten much notice yet. Care to guess what they are paying attention to? Ask Cameron Cardow (Canada), Stephane Peray (Thailand), and Patrick Chapatte (Switzerland).


Ann Telnaes has two words for you. (Hint: they aren't "buy masks.")


Protecting Our Endangered Toonists: I never saw an official announcement, but it looks like Willamette Week has dropped the syndicated cartoons from its print edition (although they're still in the online edition). So p3 proudly presents the bittersweet yearnings of youth, as remembered this week in Max Cannon's Red Meat. (Thanks to John Sherffius for permission to use his "Signature Loss" image. Click to enlarge.)


Portland homeboy Jack Ohman says Republicans like theirs on the rocks (with water back).


Is it important to color inside the lines now? At first I thought this might have been a well-intentioned idea that just went off the rails; but the longer I think about it the more I think it was off the rails from the moment they first thought of it: FEMA recently took down from its website a children's coloring book featuring images of jets flying into the World Trade Towers on 9/11. Aptly titled "A Scary Thing Happened," the book--which was, we are assured, created by the Freeborn County (MN) Crisis Response Team and not by the staff of The Onion--also gives kids the opportunity to color pictures of floods, tornados, and residential fires. Its stated purpose: to help youngsters "cope with disaster."


"A Scary Thing Happened" stands in a long tradition of government-sponsored messages designed to scare the crap out of kids by reaching them at their own level. There were those snuff-porn movies about auto accidents we all had to watch in driver education class, for example. But for my money, the ultimate example was "Duck and Cover," starring Burt the Turtle. Created by the Federal Civil Defense Commission near the beginning of the Cold War in 1951 and shown in classrooms around the country for a generation, "Duck and Cover" actually managed to make the topic of sudden horrific mass deaths boring. The takeaway lesson for children: Crouching under our school desks could save us from the atomic attack that could strike our town at any second, the shock wave ripping us to shreds from shattered glass and flying brick fragments moments before the fireball boiled away the molecules of our bodies into little whiffs of ozone. Good times. "The wonder years," we used to call them--as in, "Wonder if it'll happen today?"

p3 Bonus Toon: Somewhat along the same lines, perhaps, Jesse Springer marvels that, when the apocalypse comes, at least Oregonians will be eating more sensibly. (Click to enlarge.)



And don't forget to browse Dan Froomkin's weekday political toon review.

FOX News: In Russia, old joke remembers you!

From childhood, I remember a joke about a foot race between a Russian and an American. The punchline: The American won, but the Russians announced that the Russian came in second while the American came in next-to-last.

I was reminded of that joke by this joke from FOX News:

Study: Obama's Early Popularity Only Average Among Predecessors

President Obama is just average.

At least by the standard of approval ratings.

Though Obama's job approval score is strong and has been since he took office, historical polling data shows Obama's popularity during his first 100 days is right in the middle of the scores other new presidents received from the public over the past 60 years.

Obama's 63 percent average, according to a study released by Gallup last month, is the highest for a new president since Jimmy Carter (he clocked in at 69 percent during his first 100 days).

But John F. Kennedy bested Obama by more than 10 points, with 74 percent. Dwight Eisenhower enjoyed a 71 percent rating early on.

Even Richard Nixon averaged a 62 percent approval rating, just 1 point shy of Obama's.

Overall, Obama's average for the first three months matched the historical average of 63 percent for presidents since Eisenhower.

When you include presidents who took the oath mid-term -- after the death or resignation of a president -- Obama's 63 percent looks paltry.

Harry Truman enjoyed 87 percent approval, while Lyndon Johnson enjoyed 76 percent.

Obama might have benefited, too, from the unpopularity of his predecessor.

Even after the contested 2000 election, though, George W. Bush averaged 58 percent in his first 100 days, according to the study.

Ronald Reagan averaged 60 percent, George H.W. Bush averaged 57 percent and Bill Clinton averaged 55 percent.

So let's see: The post-WWII presidents whose approval numbers after their first 100 days in office (still a a silly yardstick) exceeded Obama's 63% were Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, and Carter.

Notice anything about that list?

Me too.

Let's try rephrasing those same Gallup results like this:

If the post-World War II presidents were ranked by their approval ratings after their first 100 days in office, every Republican president (with one exception) would be ranked lower than even the lowest-ranked Democratic president.

Nixon, Ford (presumably, although FOX News doesn't even deign to mention him), Reagan, George H.W. Bush, and George W. Bush were all rated lower than Obama at this early point in their presidencies.

That one exception was Dwight Eisenhower, a popular war hero and two-term Republican president from a now-extinct branch of the GOP, who left office almost 50 years ago. Eisenhower's approvals after his first 100 days were higher than Obama's--and he wouldn't have even a snowball's chance in hell with his own party if he returned from the grave to enter the 2012 GOP primaries.

Or, to put it still another way:

Barack Obama has the lowest approval ratings in his first 100 days of any post-war president (as long as we don't count all those Republican presidents who were less popular than him).

Kind of sad, really.

Taming of the shrewd: Obama stuns White House press corps

Journalists are interesting animals. You can handle them by giving them nicknames and treating them like a pledge class.

Or you can handle them by actually talking to them, every now and then, about what's going on:

With his chief counsel and chief of staff by his side, Barack Obama made a surprise visit to the White House press briefing room on Friday, officially announcing the retirement plans of Supreme Court Justice David Souter and laying our [sic] what kind of appointment he would make.

With no advanced warning, even for Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, the President took to the podium to read a brief set of prepared remarks. He had just gotten off the phone with Souter, he announced, and wanted to say a few words about the conversation.

Go figure.

This kind of wildly-experimental media strategy could--maybe, possibly, perhaps--go some distance toward explaining Pew Research findings like this:

As he marks his 100th day in office, President Barack Obama has enjoyed substantially more positive media coverage than either Bill Clinton or George W. Bush during their first months in the White House, according to a new study of press coverage.

Overall, roughly four out of ten stories, editorials and op-ed columns about Obama have been clearly positive in tone, compared with 22% for Bush and 27% for Clinton in the same mix of seven national media outlets during their first two months in office, according to a study by the Pew Research Center's Project for Excellence in Journalism.

The study found positive stories about Obama have outweighed negative by two-to-one (42% vs. 20%) while 38% of stories have been neutral or mixed.

(Actually I'm a little surprised that Clinton's first-60-day coverage had a higher percentage of positive stories than Dubya's. Bill and Hillary got hostile treatment from the mainstream news media almost from the moment they unpacked--they weren't members of the DC village, they were hicks, so were their cohort from Little Rock, yada yada yada.)

There's no reason to assume the difference in media coverage is directly caused by Obama's more cerebral and grown-up approach to the press corps. The dreadful journalistic practices that have become standard since the halcyon days of the Watergate investigation are like an oil tanker--it takes a long time to turn it around, regardless of the means.

But it is an interesting possibility.

(Hat-tip to Doctor TV.)

Saturday tunes: "And we have just one world, but we live in different ones"

Many "West Wing" fans will recognize this song after about one note, but its proper setting is the cold and hot wars scattered throughout Central America, the Middle East, and Southern Asia in the mid-1980s. From a 1985 concert, Dire Straits performs the bitterly ironic "Brothers in Arms:"

The opening and closing pencil sketch-rotoscope animation was probably done by the same graphic artists on a roll who created the award-winning 1985 a-ha video "Take on Me" (and an NBC-produced 1986 Superbowl ad for "Hill Street Blues"--the tag line: "America, you'll never be over the Hill.") If not, the artistic borrowing was glaringly evident.