Shifty. Untrustable.

So this happened:

At the recent CPAC gathering, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.), a likely Republican presidential candidate, seemed to stumble on one of the basic facts of the Middle East. “The reason Obama hasn’t put in place a military strategy to defeat ISIS is because he doesn’t want to upset Iran,” the Florida Republican said.

Alas for Senator Rubio, Iran and ISIS are enemies. (Much like al Qaeda under bin Laden and Iraq under Saddam were , although that didn't stop the Cheney-Bush administration, did it?)

Still. Iraq, Iran, ISIS -- all four-letter adversaries beginning with "I." You know who's next, don't you?

Ikea.

I mean, seriously -- what's the deal with those sneaky Swedes?

Winifred Ames: What have they done to us?

Conrad 'Connie' Brean: What have they done for us? What do you know about them?

Winifred Ames: Nothing.

Conrad 'Connie' Brean: See? They keep to themselves. Shifty. Untrustable.

The dog barks, the caravan moves on

During the first seven years of his administration, Bush's grasp of Middle East policy was characteristically simple: If you can't sell it arms, bomb it.

Starting last fall, though, Team Bush began the search for their own Holy Grail: A legacy.

The Middle East summit in Annapolis last November never rose above the tepid expectations its participants held for it. And his whirlwind tour of the Middle East last month--including his first and last visit to Israel--got him a big arms deal with the Saudis, a photo op on a camel, and not much else.

Bush the executive is famous for reading next-to-nothing, insisting that briefings be delivered orally, and having a somewhat short attention span.

With that in mind, here's 90-second crash course on 5000 years of Middle East history that might go a long way toward helping him put his 13-month "legacy" push in perspective:

Watching wave after wave sweep back and forth across the region for several millennia might be humbling to some.

(Hat tip to James the Elder.)