Monday, December 14, 2009

The LO/KPOJ "Lost Limerick Challenge"

This morning's Oregon news limerick, as written by me, read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by guest host Thom Hartmann, plus Christine and Paul, on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show, are posted at LO.

Thom's smart as hell, with a driving curiosity and an encyclopedic political memory . . . but he's not really what you'd call a limerick kind of guy. As a result, we have three extra limericks queued up for p3 readers this morning. Fill in the blank with the word or phrase from this week's Oregon news:

Telling fibs about taxes? We've caught 'em!
Really wasn't that tricky to spot 'em.
Despite Freedomworks' smears,
The numbers are clear:
Corporate rates will still be near ____________ .

After seeking high office in vain,
He's content to watch Oregon's pain,
Does the stimulus work?
It's all pork to this jerk!
Who's this maverick Grinch? ____________ .

Science geeks will have all hands on deck!
Spielberg fans will start lining up next!
From the period Jurassic
It's bound to be classic
OMSI soon will be host to ______________.

(The answers can be found in the Comments below, or in this week's Spanning the State at Loaded Orygun.)


Nothstine said...


1. The bottom.

The story: Dick Armey's Freedomworks and Oregon Business Alliance are continuing to tell horror stories, but the Oregonian looked at the numbers this week, and--once again--Measure 67 will leave Oregon's corporate tax rate among the lowest in the nation.

But it will help save schools, health care, and public safety from going over the cliff.

Measure 67 will finally raise the $10 corporate minimum that Oregon corporations have paid for years. The biggest bite will be for big corporations with a thin profit margin. Small businesses won't get hit hard.

Cutting jobs is one possible response, but there's also just cutting pay and benefits, or passing the cost on in prices.

No one's discussing the fourth option: trimming corporate profits a little for the greater good.

2. John McCain.

The story: Just in time for the holidays, maverick-no-more John McCain has released a list of the 100 "most wasteful" government projects to come out of the stimulus bill.

For Oregon, the list includes:

- A sewage treatment plant in Albany,
- Removing lead paint from a pedestrian bridge in Salem, and adding security camera
- A green makeover for Portland's federal building
- Recovering lost crab pots off the coast by Newberg--expensive to replace, and an underwater hazard

As a general rule of thumb, "most wasteful" means either "having a funny-sounding name that I can make easy points off of," or "in a blue state." Or both.

3. T. rex.

The story: Get yer inner nine-year-old going! Beginning this week and running through next summer, The Oregon Museum of Science and Industry will display one of the three most complete Tyrannosaurus Rex skeletons ever uncovered.

The 40 foot long, 66 million year old beast was discovered at a dig in South Dakota. After almost 20 years circulating among private owners and anonymous buyers, it's going on tour.

Bruiserdog said...

The story - Irish Bishop Resigns over sex abuse - Related to Oregon bacause Catholic Priests abuse EVERYWHERE.

There once was a Bishop from Dublin,
When protecting children was really quite bumblin'
Parishioners of course started grumbling,
and a moral man might find this humbling.

So the extent of the crimes were revealed,
and only then did he pray and kneel.
Wth the delay, we thought him a heel
and so to save face his job he did yield.

Nothstine said...

Bruiserdog: Excellent verse, dismaying topic.