Monday, August 31, 2009

The LO/KPOJ "Lost Limerick Challenge"

This morning's Oregon news limericks, as written by me, read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered (usually) by Carl, Christine,and Paul on the KPOJ 620AM Morning Show, are posted at LO.

This was an unusually difficult week for rhyming in Oregon news, so after TJ got his allotment of fugacious ephemera for his radio gig, there wasn't much left for this post. "Religion" in particular was a particularly nasty rhyme--for the purist, there's really only "smidgeon" and "pigeon" to work with. (Tom Lehrer manages to work in all three, but in fairness, he wasn't required to make his rhymes have anything to do with the Oregon state legislature--which is fortunate, given the general direction of the song.) I experimented with dropped consonants (e.g. "bridgin'), but finally settled for what we might generously call fanciful pronunciations. (TJ managed it like the trouper he is.)

So instead, I'm offering a different challenge this week: The third limerick read on-air refers to international food giant Nestlé and its plans to build a 100 million gallon/year bottling plant feeding off spring water near Cascade Locks, which they would sell back to us under their Arrowhead and Pure Life brands. (The spring is currently used by a state-run salmon and steelhead hatchery.)

It seems to me that, if Nestlé aims to make Oregonians pay to drink our own water, they might at least consider marketing it to us with Oregon-themed brand names. I have some modest examples here:

  • Coos Bay Cooler

  • Drain Overflow

  • Diet Sodaville

  • Downstream from Antelope

  • Eau de Willamette

  • Brownsville

I invite your contributions to the list.

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