Monday, July 20, 2009

We got nothin' but "lost limericks" today

The discussion during TJ's regular Monday appearance on KPOJ ran a little long on the fundamentals of cloture this morning, so they never got to the "Spanning the State" limericks.

But radio's (and art's) loss is the internet's gain. You can test your poetic prowess, and your knowledge of Oregon news, by providing the word or phrase that completes each rhyme below. (The answers are in the comments, or in yesterday's Spanning the State at Loaded Orygun.)

1. A nautical limerick:
They fell overboard--there were lots.
They're a hazard to whales, even yachts.
And a source of frustration
For local crustaceans
So we're gonna retrieve the __________.

2. A limerick brimming with irony:
State Fairs have their "don'ts" and their "do's,"
But this year there's an added taboo:
At the livestock's insistence
Wash your hands, keep your distance--
So you don't give some prize pig _________.

3. A show-biz limerick:
He vanished for quite a long spell,
And without even saying farewell!
But no need to be bitter:
Once the word leaked on Twitter,
Portland fans got to see ________.

4. A "weird science" limerick:
They've been known out in Newport to smoke.
In Eugene, the occasional toke.
But don't snort in Grants Pass,
'Cause they might bust your ass
If they test the town's sewage for _________.

And for those of you who just can't get enough of the form, here's a bonus:

1 comment:

Nothstine said...


1. Crab pots

[The story: Every year, hundreds and hundreds of the crab pots used by commercial fishermen are lost in storms, boating accidents, etc. They're now all over the ocean floor where they're becoming a danger to whales, sea lions, and other fishing boats. A recent $700K stimulus grant to Oregon included money to hire fishing boats and crew to pick up the crab pots all again. They're worth about $150 a pop.]

2. Swine flu

[The story: It's the ultimate dog-bites-man story: As state and county fair season begins, state veterinarians are advising people to wash their hands and keep their distance from the pigs at the livestock pavilions--not for our sake, but so that we don't accidentally transmit the flu back into the porcine population. The Dept. of Agriculture recommends keeping 6 feet between you and Arnold Ziffel.]

3. Dave Chappell

[The story: Facebook and Twitter were on fire all day Wednesday with rumors that the notoriously reclusive Chappell would do a free performance at midnight at Pioneer Square. Hundreds of fans showed up, according to reports--and so did Dave. ]

4. Coke

[The story: OSU public health researchers have developed a method of tracking the patterns of community-wide drug use--including cocaine, but also meth and ecstasy--in 96 Oregon towns and cities, by examining their untreated waste water. No, they can't trace anything back to you specifically--and under the circumstances, they don't want to. Also, there is no truth to the rumor that, in Corvallis, they found a half-grown alligator, completely fried, trying to boost a car stereo. That didn't happen.]