Dog days of summer

Normally they come in August, but they seem to have arrived early this year. Go figure.


1. Animal Cops may lose authority to protect animals

And it's all to protect the right of State Rep. Wayne Krieger (R - 1st District) to kill him a b'ar. Well, that, and to turn a buck:

For more than 100 years, agents from the Oregon Humane Society have enjoyed law-enforcement authority to investigate crimes against animals. They handle more than 1,000 cases a year. [ . . . ] Now, OHS stands to lose that authority, thanks in large part to some Roguish legislative legerdemain perpetrated by state Rep. Wayne Krieger.

Until this year, the "humane agents" operated under a dusty, decades-old statute that put the governor directly in charge. Gov. Ted Kulongoski decided his office should no longer oversee the program and asked the Humane Society to draft a bill transferring command to the state's Department of Public Safety.

So far, so boring. OHS wrote the bill, which started life in the House Judiciary Committee. Krieger, the committee's chair, promised to work to pass it. But in March, Krieger stalled the bill by refusing to schedule a necessary work session or a public hearing. Why? The Gold Beach Republican soured on the housekeeping measure after a spirited campaign by the Humane Society of the United States (a completely separate organization) to stop legislation loosening cougar- and bear-hunting laws. Krieger, a tree farmer, was a big supporter of that bill; bears damage his crops.

"You can't poke people in the eye to the tune of $400,000 worth of future benefit to my family and my children and then expect me to accommodate their needs," Krieger says.

Glad to know that Rep. Krieger has such a civic minded sense of his duty in Salem. I believe it's called Esprit de moi.


2. Last thought in this life: "Maybe I shoulda just humped their legs"

Two Portland police had a run-in involving a 50-pound pit bull and a 50,000-volt taser gun. The cops came out okay; the dog, not so much.

A healthy 50-pound male pit bull died last month after Portland cops shot it repeatedly with taser stun-guns, the city's first canine fatality involving the weapons. Police insist the tasers didn't kill the dog; rather, they say it died from "over-excitement" after multiple 50,000-volt zaps.

Police tangled with the dog when two officers responded to a call to a Northwest Naito Parkway apartment on the night of June 5. Tenant Aaron Palfoss wasn't home, so police used a janitor's key to enter. Police spokesman Sgt. Brian Schmautz says the pit bull attacked an officer, who responded by shooting the dog with his taser.

Though the initial shock knocked the dog to the floor, it got up and continued to attack the officers, Schmautz says. The cops hit the dog with at least two more taser darts before it collapsed and died.

Minutes later, Palfoss returned with a friend, Taylor Brotherton, who says the apartment was strewn with feces from the frightened dog.

Taser International, manufacturer of the tasers used by Portland police, describes the devices in their advertising as "non-lethal," a characterization largely based " on tests performed on pigs and dogs."


3. Laurelhurst poisoner mystery still unsolved after 2 years

I'm no fan of dog owners who let their animals off leash in places where it's against the law, although Portland does have a problem with a paucity of public parkland for pooches to run. But this is simply beyond the pale:

On July 12, 2003, a veterinarian at Dove Lewis Animal Hospital called Portland police to report the clinic was full of dead and dying dogs. By summer's end, poisoned meat stashed in Laurelhurst Park claimed as many as 15 canines, dominated headlines and put Portland dog owners on edge.

In contrast to the media clamor around the deaths, the case's two-year anniversary passed quietly this week. So what happened?

The short answer: not much. Over a year ago, in an unusual move, Portland police named their prime suspect-yet they still can't get enough evidence to file charges.

"It's incredibly frustrating," says Portland Police Detective Bill Crockett.

Don't want to blame the victims--that would be the dogs. And I sympathize with the owners who lost their pets. Whoever did this has the soul of a chipmunk and should be fixed. But there's no denying that part of the problem is that--to aggressively paraphrase T. S. Garp--some people believe their dogs can never be too free.

Also, this case is one of the ones that the Oregon Humane Society handled (see above).

Finally, for those of you who must by now think that being a dog who gets mentioned on this site is like being the guy in the Star Trek landing party in the red uniform--or worse, marrying a Cartwright--here's an uplifting story of success against overwhelming odds:


4. Ugliest frickin' dog on earth has been identified

No further explanation is required.