Sunday evening toons: Un-scary bathrooms now, un-scary bathrooms tomorrow, un-scary bathrooms forever!

Stuart Carlson rises above even the p3 Pick of the Week or Best of Show to capture the the George Wallace-style, historically-retarded, standing-in-the-schoolhouse-door, business that's currently in operation in the once-temporarily-evolved-but-not-since-Art-Pope-brought-out-his-checkbook state of North Carolina. I confess: I was slow to get the extent to which the war on gay marriage in 2004 and 2006 was encouraged – if not initiatied – at the highest levels of the Republican party (*cough!* *cough!* *Turdblossom!*) less on the merits of the case, such as they were, but for the cynical purpose of getting out the Christian conservative vote. I'm older and arguably wiser now, and I have no illusions about the sudden outbreak of "bathroom bills" during this electoral season. No illusions. None.

On other matters, there's a worthless little turd who made news this week by planning to auction off the gun that made him famous. Nothing about him today, no matter how good your toon was, because.

And here's a free joke for the Monday late-night monologue writers: Trump's new campaign hats say "Make America Budweiser Again." You're welcome.

Today's toons were selected by a bunch of nameless white guys in a smoke-filled room from the week's offerings at McClatchy DC, Cartoon Movement, Go Comics, Politico's Cartoon Gallery, Daryl Cagle's Political Cartoons, About.com, and other fine sources of toony goodness.

p3 Picks of the week: Henry Payne, Steve Sack, Joel Pett, Lalo Alcaraz, Tom Toles, Signe Wilkinson, Brian McFadden, Matt Weurker, and Monte Wolverton.

p3 Best of Show: Jeff Danziger.

p3 Legion of Merit: Darrin Bell.

p3 Award for Best Adaptation from Another Medium: Mike Luckovich.

Ann Telnaes creates an image that I wish I could un-see, but I can't.

Mark Fiore imagines what was unthinkable only a year ago.

Tom Tomorrow returns us to the continuing adventures of the reality TV star who was saturated by gamma radiation.

Keith Knight pays tribute to the fauna of his newly adopted state.

Reuben Bolling brings the latest installment of the gradual transformation of the GOP into something from the 1930s-1940s era Universal Studios. (Spoiler: It may be time to take the pitchforks and torches away from the villagers.)

Red Meat's Ted Johnson and Milkman Dan share a home-cooked meal.

The Comic Curmudgeon uncovers a new and disturbing variation on the "If Pluto is a dog, then what is Goofy?" puzzle.

Comic Strip of the Day gets a two-fer: First comes the whaling on the Cult of the Meaningless Statistic in sports coverage. Totally deserved, by the way; it's hard to believe that the companies that supply those pointless numbers, and the sports producers who feature them, have found a way to make televised baseball more boring than it already was, but they have. I have a part-time gig that involves staring at Sports Center over and over again for a few hours (and no, I don't want to talk about it), and so I recently saw and resaw this tidbit: Both the Cubs and the Sox had started their 2016 seasons with 20-game winning streak, something that apparently last happened in 1917. My question is: If it only happens once a century, is it really worth knowing about? And second, no exceptions for cartoonists.

"Ah, 'abba-dabba' yourself!" "The Hyp-Nut-Tist," directed by Dave Fleischer in 1935, was the 21st of the Fleischer Studios Popeye cartoons, and the first outing by Gus Wickie voicing Bluto (uncredited, same as Billy Costello and Mae Questel as Popeye and The Slender One, respectively, and musical director Sammy Timberg). I always wondered: Where did Olive wander off to while Popeye and Bluto were beating the crap out of each other, and why was it that the only way you could come out of the hypnotic spell was to have Bluto land on you (Popeye), or fall out of a prop tree (Bluto), or get slugged by Popeye (Olive)? Couldn't someone just snap their fingers or something?

The Right-Sized Oregon Toon Block:

Ex-Oregonian Jack Ohman wants to believe.

Documented Ex-Oregonian Jen Sorensen sympathizes with those who want to stop the madness.

Matt Bors explores the Goldilocks Theory of center-left politics.

Jesse Springer has some fun with the first rule you learn when you move to my adopted home state. (The second is that it's the "coast," not the "beach.")

Test your command of the toon-captioning Force at The New Yorker's weekly caption-the-cartoon contest. (Rules here.) And you can browse The New Yorker's cartoon gallery here.

The p3 Sunday Comics Read-Along: Pearls Before Swine, Doonesbury, Rhymes with Orange, Zits, Adam @ Home, Mutts, Over the Hedge, Get Fuzzy, Prince Valiant, Blondie, Bizarro, Mother Goose & Grimm, Rose is Rose, Luann, Hagar the Horrible, Pickles, Rubes, Grand Avenue, Freshly Squeezed, The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee, and Jumble.