Sunday, March 6, 2016

Sunday morning toons: Schwantzkrieg!

I was going to write a p3 Unforgiving Minute post about Thursday night's GOP Very Presidential Debate, but I let it go until the following morning and by then there was little left uncovered, to choose a poor but honest phrase. I suppose we should at least be grateful for small favors: It's something of a relief to hear Republicans talking about someone's penis other than Bill Clinton's. Had the topic not been shot by Friday morning, I was even planning to create a "Trump / de Bergerac 2016" bumper sticker image just for grins and giggles. But, as I say, the topic was rammed down voters' throats for a day or two, and now it's mostly petered out.

But while I didn't institute a full-blown p3 Cartoon Cock Block this week, I did let one or two efforts slip in. (And if there's still anyone out there who doesn't know how the length of Donald Trump's fingers, and whatever else that might entail, came to public awareness in the first place, here's the story. I do miss Spy Magazine sometimes.)

And meanwhile, this is what the rest of the world has to put its plans on hold for every four years. No wonder French waiters are so rude to us.

On other topics, Chris Christie is now Trump's bitch, and Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, and Mitch McConnell are riding to the rescue of the beleaguered Republican party – suggesting that getting rescued isn't as desirable a thing as it once was.

And several cartoonists visit the woes of the GOP donor class, a topic I find endlessly moving.

Today's toons were selected using a tape measure from the week's offerings at McClatchy DC, Cartoon Movement, Go Comics, Politico's Cartoon Gallery, Daryl Cagle's Political Cartoons,, and other fine sources of toony goodness.

p3 Best of Show: Clay Jones.

p3 Legion of Merit: Chan Lowe.

p3 Award for Best Adaptation from Another Medium: Steve Benson.

p3 Certificate of Harmonic Toon Convergence: Pat Bagley, Gary Varvel, and Clay Jones. I imagine that NYTimes columnist Gail Collins must be thrilled that anyone besides herself remembers this story.

Ann Telnaes documents the GOP establishment's Exorcist moment.

Mark Fiore gets credit for the the best rhyme with "before long."

Tom Tomorrow reflects upon the importance of not letting opportunities slip by, which reminds me of this 2012 p3 QOTD about the well-lived life.

Keith Knight sees what's ahead through the windshield.

Reuben Bolling has a priceless take on Trump's claim that he needs to research the KKK and its former Grand Wizard David Duke before he can comment on Duke's endorsement of his campaign.

Red Meat's Bug-eyed Earl has some of the same memories I do about childhood rituals involving newspapers at thebreakfast table. But fortunately, at my house we all read to ourselves.

The Comic Strip Curmudgeon specifies the conditions under which he will be very disappointed.

Comic Strip of the Day presents people doing other people's stuff, among other stuff.

Hey! Dat ain't a trick! I'm including this 81-year-old Popeye theatrical short this morning because it reminds me of the most recent GOP presidential debate. "Pleased to Meet Cha!" was directed by Dave Fleischer in 1935, and has a story with no obvious connection to its title. On the other hand, it does have some lovely moments of getting out of the flattened perspective: Watch the point of view shift when Olive, Bluto, and Popeye first sit on the couch, or when the spinach can rises up to the light fixture, or during the battle on the carpet runner. And as is so often the case, this toon raises the question of whether Olive is the object of Bluto and Popeye's violence, or the enabler. Uncredited voice work by Billy Costello (Popeye), William Pennell (Bluto), and Mae Questel (The Slender One). Presented in glorious monochrome!

The Yooge and Completely Classy Oregon Toon Block:

Ex-Oregonian Jack Ohman considers the disconsolation of the GOP donor class – although, as you'll also see, it's also a small-penis bank shot.

Extremely Possibly Ex-Oregonian Jen Sorensen celebrates America's ability to keep walking without noticing its feet have gone missing.

Matt Bors renders the Sunday morning talking heads superfluous. Print this out and tape it on your TV screen, then go have a nice brunch with friends or family. You'll be glad you did.

Jesse Springer notes that a somewhat-unusual strategy loomed behind the passage of Oregon's minimum-wage and clean-energy bills, although I don't think it's as irresponsible a tactic as the image suggests:

Test your toon-captioning command of the Force at The New Yorker's weekly caption-the-cartoon contest. (Rules here.) And you can browse The New Yorker's cartoon gallery here.

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