Friday, June 13, 2014

Fifth columnists on the farm

Do Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, Matt Barber, Alvin Holmes, Phil Berger Jr., Rand Paul, and Louis Gomert, know about this? Because this is exactly the kind of thing they've been worried about for years.

The Jackson Clarion-Ledger reported that [Mississippi Senator and Republican primary candidate for re-election Thad] Cochran was addressing a group of donors and supporters at Forrest General Hospital in Hattiesburg.

The senator explained his connection to the area, saying that his grandparents lived their whole lives in the area.

“I grew up coming down here for Christmas,” he said. “My father’s family was here. My mother’s family was from rural Hinds County in Utica.”

“It was fun, it was an adventure to be out there in the country and to see what goes on,” he said of his boyhood visits to Hattiesburg. “Picking up pecans, from that to all kinds of indecent things with animals.”

The audience chuckled.
Yes, I bet they chuckled. We've all been there, haven't we?

Well actually, no, Senator, most of us haven't. No. Not really. Still, give the senior senator from Mississippi a chance to revise and extend his remarks:
“And I know some of you know what that is,” Cochran said.
So, perhaps we finally have the answer to p3's most awkward questions.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a shower and burn my clothes.  


Yastreblyansky said...

Cochran here clarifies something that has badly confused us liberals for a long time. When the conservatives say gay marriage will destroy traditional marriage, they don't mean our simple kind of straight marriage that isn't that different from the gay kind as currently practiced; they mean the kind found in some rural counties where the husband freely shags the sheep, gambols with the goats, and occasionally diddles the dog. It's the animals themselves that fear the city boys will take their farmer's love away.

Nothstine said...

Okay. Now I've got something to think about.

BTW, Digby has a different take: She doesn't see this as the love of a good man for his horse, but rather one of the so-called Macdonald triad red-flags of sociopathy.

I'm not sure which I would find less discomforting.

("Husband." Heh.)