The Sweet One as Veep? Please.

Two of America's least reliable, most in-the-tank political sources -- I refer to Matt Drudge and Ann Romney -- have been predicting for a couple of weeks that the frontrunner in the transdimensional race to be Mitt Romney's vice presidential nominee will be Condi Rice.

Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please!

It's a fabrication, of course, but that's hardly a mark of distinction when we're considering Campaign Romney. Nevertheless:

First of all, we have The Sweet One's fervent assurance, repeated again and again, that she has no interest in leaving private/corporate life for public/politlcal life -- and which I believe, although not for the reasons that she offers.

Second, no matter how much of politlcal triple-bank shot of reverse-political correctness desperate Republicans might like to fantasize about, Romney is a man who -- let's be delicate -- is more comfortable around white men with power than around any sort of person of color or any sort of woman in a position of power.

Third, she knows she'd have to spend her entire waking time from the last week in August until the first week in November distancing herself all over again from the now-forgotten August 2001 National Intelligence Estimate titled "Bin Ladin Determined to Strike in the US."

Fourth, Romney's turbulent Tea Party base, upon whom he slavishly depends, will never, ever accept her as his VP nominee, because she's a (a) black (b) woman (c) with prominent connections to the now-anathema Bush Administration and who is, as if it really matters at this point, (d) on record as being more or less pro-choice.

Finally, the primary duty of the Vice President, should the Romney-Rice ticket by some fluke be elected, would, as always, be to attend the funerals of foreign heads of state. Even if the CEO President decided to hand the whole foreign policy basket over to The Sweet One, not unlike Junior handing the Prime Minister's role over to Cheney, she can't really do this if she can't safely leave the country without the risk of being whisked off to The Hague on war crimes charges.