(Apologies to Dylan, although he surely must be used to this sort of thing by now.)
The American Dream used to be that you'd work hard and move up in the world. Now there are two American Dreams: to be born into the 1%, or to win the lottery.
Did we say that the CEO of JPMorgan Chase lost $2 billion a couple of weeks ago? It was $3 billion. p3 apologizes for the error, because heaven knows that Jamie Dimon never will.
George W. Bush is writing a book on how to strengthen the economy. In other news, (oh hell, write the punchline yourself!).
Also, Bush gave Mitt Romney the fastest endorsement in American political history: It took less time than it took for the elevator doors to close.
The week of Facebook's IPO, the company got hit with another user-privacy lawsuit, this time for $15 billion. And Mark got married. Wouldn't it be interesting to catch a glimpse of that pre-nup agreement?
Today's toons were chased down the hallway of a 1960's prep school dormatory, tackled, shaved, ridiculed, and then promptly forgotten by the elite bullies who hassled them. They come from the week's pages at McClatchyDC.com, Attytude, Slate, Time, About.com, and Daryl Cagle:
p3 Picks of the Week: Mike Luckovich, Adam Zyglis, Walt Handlesman, Steve Sack, Clay Bennett, Pat Bagley, John Cole, and Monte Wolverton.
p3 Best of Show: Jim Morin.
p3 “One Big Happy Family” Award: Joel Pett.
p3 Certificate of Harmonic Toon Convergence: David Fitzsimmons and Christopher Weyant.
p3 World Toon Review: Brian Gable (Canada), Patrick Chappatte (Switzerland), and Sergei Elkin (Russia).
Ann Telnaes gives you three words: Romney. Bush. Trousers.
Mark Fiore brings us the return of Dog Boy and Mr. Dan. The message: Literalism is tricky business.
Taiwan's Next Media Animation brings us the biggest snub of the week -- and it didn't happen on Facebook, which is probably why so few people know about it.
Tom Tomorrow offers the only possible explanation. As Sherlock Holmes famously said, when you eliminate the impossible, whatever is left, however improbable, must the the truth.
Keith Knight experiences a unifying moment in his town. Keith, if you come to Portland you can have that every day, and -- this month special -- you can get the chance to sign about a dozen initiative petitions.
Tom the Dancing Bug presents The continuing (unfortunately) story of “Li'l Mitt.”
Red Meat's Ted Johnson has a surprisingly relatable moment. I don't quite know how I feel about that, to be honest.
Heads up to the Oregonian: You should start figuring out now what you're going run instead of Doonesbury next week (again). Michael Cavna at Comic Riffs has the story behind the story. (Here's a reminder of the last time the Oregonian's comics page got the wobblies.) My pointless fantasy is some day to sneak up behind the Oregonian's features editor, whisper Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! and pop a paper bag.
“But Pappy -- you don't know how to fly!” And there you have the main hook of “Pest Pilot,” a Popeye/Poopdeck Pappy outing from 1941, directed by Dave Fleischer and animated by Dave Tendlar and Tom Baron, with voice work by Jack Mercer. No Bluto, no Olive, no spinach.
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The p3 Big Oregon Toon Block:
Everyone got the point of this week's Jack Ohman toon about the Portland mayoral race, but there's some evidence that not everyone liked the way it made its point. See what you think.
Matt Bors finds the inside-the-comic-book-cover ad we've all been waiting for.
Jesse Springer forecasts the 2012 Oregon primary. Well, they can't all be 2008.
Test your toon-captioning mojo at The New Yorker's weekly caption-the-cartoon contest. (Rules here.)