1. White newborns in America.
2. People who actually made money on the Facebook IPO.
3. Republicans who have any clue what it means to call the GOP “the party of Lincoln.”
4. Americans who remember that this weekend is about more than a good deal on a mattress.
Today's toons were selected from the week's pages at McClatchyDC.com, Slate, Time, About.com, and Daryl Cagle:
p3 Picks of the Week: Mike Luckovich, Jim Morin, Lee Judge, Tony Auth, Lisa Benson, Dana Summers, Jeff Danziger, Steve Breen, Steve Sack, Bill Day, Bob Englehart, Rob Tornoe, and Monte Wolverton.
p3 Best of Show: Signe Wilkinson.
p3 Award for Best Adaptation from Another Medium: Kevin Siers.
p3 Legion of Merit (with GPS): Jeff Danziger.
Legion of Honor (with Blushes): Mike Luckovich.
p3 World Toon Review: Kevin Kellauger (England), Patrick Chappatte (Switzerland), Rachel Gold (Austria), and Anna Von Rebeurs (Argentina),
Ann Telnaes contemplates the limits of our involvement in Afghanistan.
Mark Fiore marks Memorial Day by noting that war has never felt so peaceful. (Note that Bill Maher got canned from ABC about a decade ago for making roughly the same joke. The times, they are a-changin'. Maybe.)
Taiwan's Next Media Animation covers a topic we probably don't say enough about here at p3: cannabalistic Chinese serial killers. Not exactly a nice Chianti and some fiva beans. And, of course, half an hour later you want to consume human flesh again. (Yes, I went there.)
Department of Sheepish Apologies: Last week I hinted broadly that the Oregonian would probably take a dive and not publish this week's Doonesbury strips about Mitt Romney's adventures as a public school bully. I was wrong; they came through. Good on 'em.
And speaking of Doonesbury, today's strip features B.D. learning an important lesson for the holiday: They also serve who pour. Tom Tomorrow tosses in a visual quote from Action Comics #1 in the latest episode of Invisible-Hand-Of-The-Free-Market Man! Remember: if you think extraterrestrials are communicating with you through government-installed implants in your skull, you're crazy, but if you think an invisible hand guides our economy toward optimal outcomes, you're a Chicago School Economist.
Keith Knight mourns the passing of the human connection.
Tom the Dancing Bug brings us Pato Fortunado -- European Lucky-Ducky -- in the latest Super-Fun-Pak Comix!
Red Meat's Ted Johnson is experiencing back pain. So am I, but if I have to choose I'd rather do it my way.
The Comics Curmudgeon produces the most thought-provoking interpretation of the relationship between Dagwood Bumstead and Julius Dithers I've ever read. (Yes, so it's probably the only interpretation of their relationship I've ever read, too. What's your point? I meant it nicely. Don't spoil the moment.)
Childring are more trouble than human beans! “Baby Wants A Bottleship” (1942) is one of the war-time Popeyes, and the last to be directed by Dave Fleischer. It was animated by Alfred Eugster and Joseph Oriolo, with story work by Jack Ward and Jack Mercer (the latter of whom also voiced Popeye).
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The p3 Big Oregon Toon Block:
Jack Ohman follows Romney's pursuit of a non-toxic running mate. Good luck with that, Governor.
Matt Bors contemplates the irony of demographics.
Jesse Springer has a solution for the ban on Native American mascots for Oregon public schools: The ultimate cage match.
Test your toon-captioning kung fu at The New Yorker's weekly caption-the-cartoon contest. (Rules here.)