The unforgiving minute: Don't be a turkey -- stand your ground

p3 readers may remember Ralph Shortey, who in January introduced what amounts to anti-commercial cannibalism legislation in the Oklahoma state legisture.

He's back. And this time he's got Meleagris gallopavo -- the North American wild turkey -- in his sights:

Thursday, the Senate Committee on Public Safety voted 7-2 in favor of House Bill 2522, which would allow firearms to be carried openly without a concealed-carry permit. The bill does mandate that anyone wanting to openly carry a firearm would have be 21 or older and undergo training. The training would supposedly be tougher than that now required for a concealed-carry permit.

The bill originally would have allowed anyone with a concealed-carry permit to open-carry.

During committee discussions, Shortey argued that he shouldn't be required to pay fees and get a license to carry a weapon. Here's how he justified that:

"I was in oil and gas," Shortey said. "I was out on a lease at one time and I got attacked by a turkey. Wait until you get attacked by a turkey. You will know the fear that a turkey can invoke in a person. And so I beat it with a club. That was all I could do.

"I wish that I had a gun with me," he said. "And I started carrying a gun in my truck after that without a license because I didn't want to get attacked by a mountain lion. Turkeys are bad enough."

As the DailyKos points out:

The last confirmed sighting of a mountain lion in Oklahoma was 1984 when Shortey was two years old.

The North American wild turkey was proposed by Benjamin Franklin as a better national symbol than the scavenging bald eagle. The bird plays an important role in the culture of many native American tribes. And Shortey beat one to death with a club. No word if it was wearing a hoodie or carrying Skittles.

Minute's up.