Sunday, March 4, 2012

Sunday morning toons: Under the letter “S” in the conservative dictionary

snob n. Someone who wants to use post-high school education to pursue the American Dream.

slut n. Someone who won't let Rush Limbaugh watch her having sex on the internet.

sperm n. A person with full legal rights under the U.S. Constitution. [c.f. corporation] Antonym: adult woman.

Today's toons have been selected from the week's pages at Slate, Time, Mario Piperni,, and Daryl Cagle:

p3 Picks of the Week: Mike Luckovich, Adam Zyglis, Nate Beeler, Bob Englehart, Bruce Plante, Clay Jones, Clay Jones, Jeff Danziger, Nick Anderson, Pat Bagley, and Monte Wolverton.

p3 Best of Show: Steve Sack.

p3 Best Adaptation from Another Medium Mike Luckovich.

p3 Animal Hero, First Class Medal: John Cole.

p3 World Toon Review: Hassan Bliebel (Lebanon), Rachel Gold (Austria), Cameron Cardow (Canada), and Michael Kountouris (Greece),

Ann Telnaes watches Romney going off the deep end.

Mark Fiore asks, How do we pick our leader?

Is this the leg that launched a thousand ships, and burned the topless towers of Ilium? Taiwan's Next Media Animation worries that Angelina Jolie's leg might become too powerful.

Ah, sweet, sweet irony: Two months ago, we shared the news that one of the characters in Archie was going to marry his (also male) honey now that DADT had been revoked. Apparently even the happiness of completely fictional comic book characters is too much for the god-botherers at the American Family Association to endure if they haven't approved it first, so the AFA, through one of its Potemkin front groups, the wildly over-ennumerated One Million Moms, demanded that Toys 'Я' Us remove the offending issue from their store shelves or face what we might call a boy-meets-boycott. And, in a lovely demonstration of the importance of being careful what you wish for, One Million [or fewer] Moms got what they wanted:
Despite attempts by a conservative American mothers' group to have it pulled from sale, the new Archie comic, which features a gay marriage, has just sold out. [...]

The strong sales follow a call from the American Family Association's website One Million Moms for Toys R Us to stop selling the new Archie issue. The conservative Christian group is concerned that "children are now being exposed to same-sex marriage in a toy store". "Please remove all the same-sex 'Just Married – Archie' comic books immediately from your shelves. My decision to shop in your stores depends on it," they have written to the retailer.
Problem solved.

Tom Tomorrow discovers the one thing that can make the culture warriors even crazier. And the worst thing is that, until now, they didn't even think it existed.

Keith Knight pursues other, deeper sources of wisdom.

Tom the Dancing Bug predicts Mitt Romney will take the only logical course left to him, followed by a masterful parry from Obama.

Red Meat's Ted Johnson experiences the horror when health plans fail! Notice to the public: No one will be seated during the terrifying tiny-comb scene!

I take a seven-and-a-half! In lieu of a classic animation today, here are June Foray and Bill Scott, the voices, respectively, of Rocket J. Squirrel and Natasha Fatale, and Bullwinkle J. Moose, Mr. Peabody, and Dudley Do-Right. June Foray has done a lot of voice work, including for Warner Bros., but I think Scott limited himself to Jay Ward productions. (I haven't been able to settle it for certain one way or the other, but I suspect that Scott also did voice work in the early TV ads for Quisp, Quake, and Cap'n Crunch, all breakfast cereal icons animated by Jay Ward's company.)

If your browser won't display the embedded version, click here.

(Hat-tip to John A. at AmericaBlog, although he's mistaken about Boris Badenov, who was voiced not by Bill Scott but by the omnipresent Paul Frees.)

The p3 Big Oregon Toon Block:

Jack Ohman watches in shock as the latest craze sweeps the nation's capital.

Every wonder what it might be like in Mormon Heaven? Matt Bors asks someone who apparently now knows.

Jesse Springer, after seeing the Oregon Supreme Court sanction the carrying of concealed weapons (with a permit) on Oregon college campus and the legislature considering a bill that would allow schools to deny that right, wonders if this is a ray of light:

(By the way, Jesse: Can't help noticing that the NRA woman doesn't look terribly stereotypical -- in fact, making the character a woman in typical office-wear (plus the hat)  runs a little against stereotype. But the sandaled-and-ponytailed anti-gun guy looks like someone phoned down to central casting and just asked for an "ex-hippie." That's all you got?) 

Test your toon-captioning skills at The New Yorker's weekly caption-the-cartoon contest. (Rules here.)

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