Thursday, August 17, 2006

My idea for improving campaigns

I think there are some candidates who should have a person on staff who stays at their elbow during every public appearance, and whenever the candidate gets part-way through what's obviously going to be a really stupid and/or politically embarrassing unscripted statement, the aide would hit them with a taser, dropping them to the pavement before they can finish it.

The aide would normally then make a short statement, apologizing that the candidate's appearance today is going to have to be cut short and inviting the media representatives to pick up a copy of the press kit now being distributed at the back of the room, while the candidate's unconscious body is carried by staffers back to the campaign bus.

I'm sure that getting tased by one of their own staff on-camera--even if it has to happen several times a week--would be easier to explain to voters the next day than having to spend the rest of the week talking their way out of something like this.

In this case, for example, an alert aide would have administered the 200Kv charge immediately after the candidate uttered the phrase "I grew up in Alabama, and I understand, and I know this from my own experience, that blacks are . . . "   since there is no possible conclusion to that sentence that wouldn't do more damage than footage of him abruptly screaming and writhing in painful, uncontrolled muscle spasms, then falling into a lifeless heap.

1 comment:

my pants said...

I hope you got to see the Daily Show bit on that...

http://www.rawstory.com/news/2006/Video_Daily_Show_lampoon_George_Allens_0816.html