Thursday, April 6, 2006

It's official: The evening network news is now completely irrelevant

Katie Couric, who is to "perky" as the Aegean Sea is to "wine dark"--the modifier is required in her contract--will be anchoring the CBS Evening News. A queen's ransom changed hands to bring this about.

Couric will take her seat as heir and successor to the "effervescent" Edward R. Murrow and the "bubbly" Walter Cronkhite--and, of course, Dan "The Pixie" Rather.

Here's a foretaste of what we can expect Couric to bring to the Evening News.

Expect ratings for dinner-hour reruns of "Friends" and "Everybody Loves Raymond" to skyrocket.

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