A detectable drop in the overall quality of network television

Tonight, FOX airs the last four episodes of "Arrested Development"--the network still insists, Scott McLellan-like, that this is only a "season finale," since the official death sentence may not be pronounced until fall scheduling decisions are announced in a couple of months.

(If your idea of a good TV review is when the writer steps on nearly all the jokes, but congratulates herself for not spoiling one or two, you'll appreciate this write-up from the Chicago Trib. If, on the other hand, you prefer to let art flow over you, you can just wait until tonight.)

Rumors persist that Showtime may pick up the series once it's officially cancelled. For what it's worth, those rumors rarely mention ABC as one of the interested suitors anymore. And another rumor has it that Justin Bateman has signed to be in this dubious-sounding project, which would affect his availability. So you never know. That's why they call them rumors: You can't count on them.

But enough fretting and worrying: Tonight, after a long drought, we drink from the fire hose. Four new episodes--rumored (dammit!) to be among the best in AD's three-year run--shown back to back. It's sort of like celebrating swearing off by going on a binge--probably not the worst possible analogy for a show like this.

In the unlikely event that you'll be watching the Olympic opening ceremonies tonight--although I suppose someone will have to--set your DVRs.

(Bonus opinion: My theory of the Olympics--that it's not really an Olympic sport if it takes a judge to tell whether you "won"--would have the whole business over in about three days. So much easier for everyone. Of course, that means that snow-boarding and floor gymnastics wouldn't be Olympic events anymore, but duplicate bridge might be, so I haven't got all the bugs worked out yet. But I still think I’m right.)