But now they may have gone too far.
The French Ministry of Youth and Sport has had un bogue up its derriere for years regarding American cyclist Lance Armstrong: seven Tour de France victories in a row, and they still haven't been able to hang a blood-doping charge on him.
Not for lack of trying, of course. Before this year's Tour--the day before, in fact--a "random" blood test was administered to exactly one rider out of 189: Armstrong. In a nation otherwise noted for style (and fine lodging!), they confronted him in his hotel room in the middle of the afternoon. A stone-faced--one might say "pissed"--Armstrong accompanied the Ministry's lackies out of his room, past the press, and to the area where the test would be administered. Armstrong passed, again. (No record as to whether any of the Ministry lackies had the decency to look a little embarrassed by their behavior.)Even now, with the Tour over and Armstrong saying 2005 was his last Tour, they're continuing to pursue him like their own yellow-jerseyed whale:
Pee fetishists at the French sporting daily L'Equipe produced frozen samples of Armstrong's urine, collected six years ago, and submitted them to new tests. (One dreads to imagine where they've been keeping them all this time. "Oui, monsieur, a fine blanc, somewhat lacking in breeding but strong on the hills and possessing a magnificent finish. Best served chilled")The next two rounds were predictable: The French say that the test on his six-year-old whiz show traces of a banned performance-enhancing hormone, casting doubt on his 2000-2005 victories. Armstrong denies it, pointing to his repeated testing over the years, in both the on- and off-season, at the insistence of the French.
So Lance has retired from the Tour, but they're going to continue to pursue him. I suppose we can all be grateful they only think he took performance drugs; imagine if they thought he'd stolen a loaf of bread.
(Hats off to Sam for giving me the title free of charge.)
No comments:
Post a Comment