Independence--the special "holiday home edition!"

It's easy 'n' fun! Just follow these simple steps:

1. Go to this archive copy of the Declaration of Independence.

2. Print your own hard copy by hitting Ctrl-P.

3. Read through the list offenses committed against the colonists by King George III and, with a highlighter, mark the ones that you think might still have some historical resonance today under the Bush administration.

To get you started, here's my list--see how many of them sound familiar to you, too:

• He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.


• He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.


• He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.


• He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.


• He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.


• He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

• He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
  

• He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

4. Proudly display your copy of the Declaration of Independence on your door, wall, refrigerator, or fireplace mantle. (Don't worry--if it catches on fire, it's not a crime! Congress couldn't care less!)


For extra fun, test yourself on the Special Bonus Round:

5. Go through the list of grievances against King George III again, and see how many of them you think were faked by the Continental Congress to get us into the Revolutionary War.

Have a safe and happy Independence Day* weekend, everyone.

*Void where prohibited.