Sunday, April 17, 2005

The blog post I hoped I'd never have to write

When I started this blog, there were certain topics I just promised myself I would stay away from, for the sake of your dignity, dear reader, as well as my own. Anything using the phrase "milky white discharge," for example.

Alas, sometimes rhetorical exigency simply will not be denied.

I owe it to established readers and to newcomers alike to just get it out there and get it over with: Time magazine has placed Ann Coulter on this week's cover as "one of the world's most influential people."

Coulter is influential, yes, but only in the way that Typhoid Mary was: She poisons everything she touches. As for Time, whatever is left of its claim to good judgment is, of course, gone.

If Coulter stories are the sort of thing you gear up for--if, along the same lines, you TiVo every episode of "America's Funniest Home Videos" and fast-forward to the clips of innocent children doing a tearful pratfall, videotaped by parents who'd rather have the $100 for sending in the video than drop the camera and comfort their child--here are two examples you'll enjoy.

Poor Coulter. She's like an autistic child who can only express herself by smearing her own feces on the wall. Congratulations to her for finding a way to earn a living from it, but. . . .

Barring something mindbogglingly extraordinary, this is her last mention here.

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