The unforgiving minute

What Katha Pollitt said:

Hey, Peter [Beinart], Representative Stupak and your sixty-four Democratic supporters, Jim Wallis and other antichoice "progressive" Christians, men: why don't you take one for the team for a change and see how you like it?

For example, budget hawks in Congress say they'll vote against the bill because it's too expensive. Maybe you could win them over if you volunteered to cut out funding for male-exclusive stuff, like prostate cancer, Viagra, male infertility, vasectomies, growth-hormone shots for short little boys, long-term care for macho guys who won't wear motorcycle helmets and, I dunno, psychotherapy for pedophile priests. Men could always pay in advance for an insurance policy rider, as women are blithely told they can do if Stupak becomes part of the final bill.

Minute's up.

Quote of the day

Tim Fernholz at TAPPED, on conservatives' complaint that everything they don't like is "socialism:"

When unemployment eventually does lead to revolutionaries actually seizing the means of production, will the GOP be at a loss for words?

A sudden roar in the open sky--

A streak of gray and a cheerful "Hi!"
A loop! A whirl! A vertical climb!
And once again you know it's time--
For Rocky and his friends!

This is a true story:

Back around 1989-1990, a friend and I found out that six VHS tapes of Rocky and Bullwinkle were going to be released later in the year. There was no such thing as Google--or even the World Wide Web--back then, but we were determined. In a few days we'd tracked down the number for the Bullwinkle Emporium (also known as the Dudley Do-Right Emporium on Sunset Strip in Hollywood).

In the sort of six-degrees moment someone from my generation could only dream of, we soon found ourselves on the phone with the wife of Jay Ward, creator of Rocky and Bullwinkle, with Jay Ward himself listening in the background. We made our pitch: Any video release of a cult classic like R & B had to have a video companion book. And we--this was no time for modesty--we were the ones to write it.

We talked, we pitched, we wheedled, we pled--back and forth through his wife--but to no avail. The videos were coming out because Ward had sold the rights--all the rights--to Buena Vista, a part of Disney. We could make our pitch to Disney, said Ward--through his wife--but he couldn't help us.

Disney being Disney, they never returned our calls and never produced a video guide.

I bring this up because tomorrow (Thursday the 19th) is the 50th anniversary of the first broadcast, on ABC, of "Rocky and his Friends," which later evolved into "The Bullwinkle Show."

Today it's remembered mostly for two reasons: First is that it's the exemplar (even for some who've never seen it) of kids' programming that adults would get. At the time, though, that wasn't a marketing gimmick--it was because the writers were given freedom to write whatever struck them as funny. And that's the second reason: R&B produced a several TV writers who later excelled because they were given such ridiculous latitude in their early days.

I had hoped to track down an installment from my favorite Rocky and Bullwinkle story--about Wassamatta U. It was a merciless parody of campus romance, university politics, and the Civil War the War Between the States. (If you see it, you'll get it.) But it's nowhere to be found online. (Know a link? Please drop it in the comments.)

So instead, I've included this episode from the adventure of The Kerwood Derby. The premise: It's a race between the good guys and the bad guys to find the Derby which will make the wearer the smartest person in the world--but only if he was the dumbest person in the world. (You can probably see where that's headed.) Enjoy.

Like a surprising number of gags and references in Rocky & Bullwinkle which created a political or legal kerfluffle, "Kerwood Derby" was nearly the center of a lawsuit.

My pal Keith, who hosts "Strictly the Sixties," streaming from WCCR FM (and is in fact the friend with whom I made the unsuccessful pitch to Ward 'way back when) dropped some broad hints that he'll probably do something to celebrate the golden anniversary of the moose and squirrel. It's how he rolls. I encourage you to tune in between 10am and noon Eastern time tomorrow (Thursday) to see what he offers up in tribute.

On gibberish

Laugh if you want, but this is something I've actually wondered about.

Pretty much all English-speaking Americans know how to make gibberish in other languages--not to be understood, but simply to indicate to the other person that we're pretending to speak a specific foreign language rather than, say, undergoing some neurological or religious experience. For example, here's how Americans do:

Swedish gibberish [think: the Muppets' Swedish chef]: "Ufda-buffda, hunga-bjorna."

Japanese gibberish [growl brand names in a deep Toshiro Mufune voice]: "Oh-SA! Toyota! Mitsubishi!"

Italian gibberish [simply standard English with "-a" added at the end of most words, while gently shaking your hand, thumb touching index and middle fingertips, in front of your face]: "I'm-a goin' home-a now."

French gibberish [actual words unnecessary; just purse your lips and make rapid-fire sounds from your soft palate while holding your cigarette from underneath].

And so on. I could have included Chinese gibberish, Spanish gibberish, and German gibberish, which most Americans know how to produce and all Americans recognize. We've learned it from Jerry Lewis movies, Peter Sellers movies, John Belushi skits, "I Love Lucy" reruns, and the like.^*

Whether that's somehow offensive is a question another time. (Although, if you're impatient, I can tell you now that the answer is no. It's a human impulse to render everything around us onomotopoetically--even things which by their nature shouldn't have sounds at all. Otherwise, cats all over the world would simply say "meow." But I digress.)

My question has always been, what do speakers of other languages do about English? What does their American gibberish sound like?

Now we know:

It's kind of startling at first, but I can't deny there's linguistic justice to it. No wonder they look at some of us so oddly when we order from the menu.

^*And that's not even counting authentic frontier gibberish.

(h/t to Ali via FB)

Clemens to Puzo to Blount: A triple-play of American letters

Who knew that one of the classic lines in "The Godfather" was cribbed from Mark Twain?

In an essay from the early 1980s, Roy Blount, Jr., describes touring Mark Twain's "High Victorian Gothic dream house" at 351 Farmington Avenue, in Hartford, Connecticut:

Nineteen mostly crepuscular but spirited rooms, kaleidoscopically decorated by Louis Tiffany. And a ground floor gallery where I viewed, among other mementos, a slate on which Twain would jot notes to himself. The slate, I am pleased to report, was not left clean. Few of the overlapping scribbles are decipherable, but I did make out two sensible reminders:

Leave the cat here.
Take the whiskey along.

Roy Blount, Jr.
Not Exactly What
I Had in Mind

The LO/KPOJ "Lost Limerick Challenge"

This morning's Oregon news limericks, as written by me, read by quizmaster TJ of Loaded Orygun, and answered by Carl, Christine, and Paul on the KPOJ 620AM's Carl + Christine show, are posted at LO.

And we wound up once again with extra limerick, so you can play along at home. Fill in the blank with the word or phrase from this week's Oregon news:

The learning they hope to amass
Takes a back seat to job woes, alas.
With no work to be found,
Record numbers are bound
To ride out the recession in _____________.

(The answer can be found in the Comments below, or in this week's Spanning the State at Loaded Orygun.)

Sunday afternoon toons: Special "Jedi mind trick" edition

What I told you was true... from a certain point of view.

(Obi-Wan Kenobe, explaining to
Luke Skywalker why he had lied
to him about his father's death)

In the Jedi spirit, the following statements about this week's p3 toon review are also true:

America honors its veterans.
Sarah Palin launches a nation-wide book tour.
The GOP scores a key off-year electoral victory.
Reform comes to Afghanistan.
Congress tackles unemployment.
Flu vaccine is available.
Wall Street finally faces stronger oversight.
The Senate moves ahead on health care reform.
And UO running back LeGarrette Blount was suspended.

, , , from a certain point of view. Let's start this week's Padewan training with Daryl Cagle's toon round-up:

p3 Picks of the Week: Mike Luckovich, Nate Beeler, Pat Bagley, John Darkow, Jimmy Margulies, John Cole, Joe Heller, Jeff Stahler, Scott Stantis, and Monte Wolverton,

p3 Best of Show: Steve Sack.

p3 Legion of Honor: Adam Zyglis.

p3 World Toon Review: Does anyone get the joke--I think it's a joke--in this week's toon by Cam Cardow (Canada)? If so, you're ahead of me. In fact, let that be the theme of this week's WTR: Visually interesting toons that I'm pretty sure I don't get: Stephane Peray (Thailand), Effat Mohamed (Egypt), and Alex Falco (Cuba).


Ann Telnaes runs the numbers, and they're nothing to brag about.


The Onion took a moment this week to gently mock a cartoon character who first made me aware of some of the possibilities that life offered, even if her head did resemble an enormous apple with spit curls. (You can read more about that here.) And did you know, by the way, that all Onion items begin with the creation of the headline, after which the story and/or photo are reverse-engineered?


No one to root for here: I'm including this bit because, if it's happening in the toon world, you count on p3 to be there. But honestly, if you want to give it a miss and scroll on down to "Schroedinger's Reagan," I'll understand. Amanda Marcotte framed the issue rather elegantly (certainly more elegantly than any of the participants deserve): "Misogynist murderer versus misogynist cartoonist."


Schroedinger's Reagan: Think your conservative credentials are all in order because you believe the earth is only 6000 years old? Hah! Tom Tomorrow says that cutting-edge conservatism now knows it's even younger than that--much younger. And like all new theories, there are a few kinks still to be worked out.


The Man in Black (and White): Johnny Cash's biography is out in graphic novel format.


Portland homeboy Jack Ohman updates an American classic,


Prithee? Hm? Hm? This week's animation, "Robin Hood Daffy," was directed by Chuck Jones in 1957. By then the drop in production values for Warner Bros cartoons was beginning to show, and you can see it in this short, most noticeably in the more limited, less expressive animation style. (Also, Carl Stalling had by then handed over the musical direction to his former assistant, Milt Franklyn.) Still, "Robin Hood Daffy" remains pretty funny, in part because Jones was already working on turning a problem into a virtue: The simpler, less-detailed style let Jones move character expression from the Tex Avery style of extremes--eyeballs popping out, jaws dropping, etc.--to the Jack Benny-esque studied stare (which he absolutely perfected a few years later in his characterization of the Grinch). Yoiks! And away!

p3 Bonus Toon: Jesse Springer notes notes that there's permanent, and then there's "permanent:"



Don't forget to bookmark Slate's political cartoon for the day.

Saturday tunes: "A worrisome thing"

I've heard her nephew is somewhat talented too.

If only he'd been Mr. Fee-Fi-Fo that day, or Billy Banana or Aunt Yoohoo instead of Peter Peanut

Last week saw the death of TV writer David Lloyd who, during the 70s, 80s, and 90s, Lloyd wrote award-winning episodes for . . . well, hell, damned near everybody

Mr. Lloyd was an astonishingly productive writer by series television standards, not only generating scripts on his own but also working with other writers to doctor scripts in trouble. In addition to “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” for which he had credits on more than 30 episodes between 1973 and 1977, Mr. Lloyd wrote for, among other shows, “The Bob Newhart Show,” “Lou Grant,” “Rhoda,” “Phyllis,” “The Tony Randall Show,” “The Associates,” “Taxi,” “Dear John,” “Amen,” “Wings,” “Cheers” and “Frasier.”

And yet, with a résumé like that, here's how the Newspaper of Record titled his obituary, as if he'd only accomplished two things in his life (one of which was dying):

David Lloyd, 75, Dies; Wrote ‘Chuckles’ Episode

Oh, don't be coy--of course you remember it:

"Chuckles Bites the Dust" (October 25, 1975) - The ludicrous death of WJM's Chuckles the Clown, crushed by an elephant while dressed as Peter Peanut, provokes a torrent of black humor which has everyone in the newsroom but Mary convulsed in laughter. Mary's suppressed laughter comes out at an inopportune moment: at Chuckles' funeral. This episode was ranked #1 on TV Guides The Greatest Episodes of All Time.

It keeps getting taken down on YouTube, but at the moment you can see the magnificent funeral scene here.

So, assuming the rights owner will manage to find this clip and get it pulled too, let this then be his epitaph:

Requiscat in Pacem

David Lloyd

Minutus cantorum,
Minutus balorum,
Minutus carborata descendum pantorum.

(H/t to Stephanie via FB)

The unforgiving minute

A brief history of the wall of separation:

John F. Kennedy, 1960: The separation of church and state is absolute. My church will not dictate my policy decisions.

Mitt Romney 2008: The separation of church and state is relative. My church will dictate my policy decisions, but only to the extent that I will discriminate against the same people Christian conservatives would already be discriminating against anyway.

Rep. Bart Stupack 2009; The separation of church and state is a fairy tale. My church will show up at the Capitol steps in a limo to dictate policy.

Minute's up.

After all the harm he's done, why draw the line there?

I'm not going to become a Fan of the Facebook page called "If Joe Lieberman filibusters health care, I will donate to his opponent." (It was started on the 9th of November and this morning it says it has 13,000 pledgers, and an estimated $650,000 in pledges.)

I'm waiting for a Facebook page called "I will donate to Joe Lieberman's opponent regardless of whether he filibusters health care." That one I'll join right now.

It's way past the point where anyone should consider cutting that poisonous little narcissist any slack simply because he passed up one opportunity to sell out the caucus.